What's for dinner?

We have been blessed beyond scrumptious these past weeks! The Shooter Family has been in Hog (Beef, Chicken, Turkey, Dessert, You-name-it!) Heaven!

Thank you from me seems so small a token for the act of love and support these dear Sister-Friends have shown.

Yet, that is all my heart keeps singing ~ Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU GIRLS!

For:
committing to a meal
planning a meal
shopping for a meal
preparing a meal
cleaning up after a meal
delivering a meal
making me smile from ear to ear when I remembered you were coming to my rescue!
loving us and supporting us in such a helpful, meaningful way

You all have ROCKED our limited culinary worlds. So guess what people? I have asked (begged in some cases) for each of them to submit their recipes so I can share with you.

I wanted to put them on in order...but, that's not gonna happen cause I seem to have a few shy friends that forgot what I'm like when I want something real bad...like a recipe. You listening Sister-Friends? I'm coming to your kitchens to get those recipes...or you can just email 'em to me and save us both the blubbering I can so easily resort to in times of emergency.

This was from my friend Jen.

Here’s the recipe for Chicken Enchiladas. This is a large recipe (2 - 9x13 pans) and it can be halved. We make the whole thing and freeze half.

For the Enchiladas:

2 pkgs (8 ct.) flour tortillas
3 lbs chicken, broiled and chopped fine (I use frozen boneless, skinless chicken breasts)
2 lbs Monterey Jack cheese, shredded

Lay all the tortillas out on the table and evenly distribute the chicken and cheese between them. Roll them up tightly and place 8 in each 9x13 ungreased pan.

Sauce:

1 cup butter (not margarine)
1 cup flour
6 cups chicken broth (I use water off of broiled chicken)
2 cups sour cream
Jalapenos, chopped fine to taste (*I also use some of the juice off of the jalapenos for flavor without adding more chunks of jalapeno)
1 to 2 tsp salt (**taste while adding salt. It will take more than you might expect to get the right flavor. Don’t be afraid to add more. I usually do it one generous pinch at a time tasting after each addition)

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. In a large sauce pan melt the butter and add the flour. Mix well and pour in all the broth. Bring to a boil and stir continuously until thickened. Add the remaining ingredients noting * & ** above. Evenly distribute between the two pans of enchiladas using a rubber spatula to separate the individual enchiladas and allowing the sauce to run between them. Cook in the preheated oven for 25 to 30 minutes or until heated through.

Allow to cool a little before serving. They will be quite hot but VERY good!!!!!

Thanks Jen! Very good was an understatement!

Thanks Coach!

#1: "Awwww...it's the eeennd.

Mom: "Ahhhh... it's the eeennd.

Hey, batter, batter...

...Swwwwiiing!"

It's over. It's over. Momma's doing the Happy Dance.

Boy Child is not.

"Do you smell that?"

After a long afternoon of errands, Big Shooter walked in the house, through the living room, set some mail on the table in the kitchen, turned to me with a questioning look and asked, "Do you smell that?"

I thought, "Here we go. What smell could he be referring to with his Bionic Smell? Let's see could it be the bug bomb from yesterday, the burnt popcorn, bacon from breakfast, garlic at lunch, lingering fragrance of my perfume as I walked by him, or the Smelly Pug?" All of which, by the way, I cannot smell over the normal smell of the air freshener in the wall.

I said, "Sorry. Doesn't smell any different than normal"

"You're serious? You don't smell that?"

"Sorry Love. What's that smell like?"

"Like some one's been in here...painting with fingernail polish...but, we weren't here...soooo...", he finished as he got that I'll hunt down the intruder and make them pay for breaking into this house and painting their nails while we were away look.

"You're serious? You smell fingernail polish?" Wow. I continue to be surprised by this phenomenon. "Sorry to burst your bubble Love. But you aren't going to find any scary intruders with nicely painted nails in the closets or under the bed...I painted my toes in the bathroom before we left the house...about 4 hours ago."

Wow. (yes, again.) The disappointment. After weeks of being couped up & taken care of (read: bored out of his gourd), the prospect of finding an intruder with a feminine flair being yanked out from under him was a Huge Disappointment.

Mind you, not quite as big as having his Crackberry run over...twice.

But, a huge one none the less. So he went back to Lowe's to console his caveman soul.



Love Note to my Big Shooter: I love you Caveman. I love it when you beat your chest. I love it when you grunt. (well, kinda) I love it when you cook meat over a fire(ish). And I love it when you drag me to the back of the cave.

Who'd a thunk it?

Our precious friend, Eula Mae.

She's 85.

She spent all Sunday afternoon watching her favorite sport.

Indy Car Racing.

She's never had a driver's license.



Love Note to my Big Shooter: I'll still have red, hot racing blood when I think of you at 85 Big Guy.

Full Disclosure...or another Confession

I'm so not a politically correct PETA lover, Green Peacer, or Hippie Doobie Smokin' Flower Power believer either. (Although, I really am a Tree Hugger if that helps.)

Just thought you should know all this before the Political Drums start vibrating in my ears. I'm liable to put my foot in my mouth a time or two, cause a ruckus in the comment section, have to apologize a few times for my behavior or attitude, or God Forbid vow my undying love of this great country we are blessed to call home.

Just thought you should know this about me beforehand.

That. And FIL sent this picture to me today to remind me of my past...Yes, that's me 20 years ago. Nature Killer. Which of course led my brain down the whole PETA, Green Peace lane.

And made me miss Idaho.

How do you like my Coors Light hat? I wasn't even legal yet. 20ish if I recall correctly. Big Shooter was away at college. I'd just had all four wisdom teeth pulled and it was Opening Weekend of Hunting Season. I told my future FIL, "No. So sorry. I have dry sockets. I can't go this year." That was back before cell phones. So thirteen minutes later when I called back and couldn't reach him or Big Shooter's momma (Who should be there. She didn't partake in the bloodletting.) to tell them I'd been taking pain meds and didn't know what I was saying because, "Oh course I was going! Miss out on getting up at 4am, drinking coffee with a bunch of Good Ole Boys while they made our game plan, hiking up and down mountains, always riding in middle b/c my legs were shortest so there was room for the gear shifting required when gunning up a steep, treacherous path on the side of a sheer cliff? No way am I missing out!" I freaked. Had they really left without me? I packed for a hunting weekend in under 14 seconds and arrived at their house approximately 4 minutes later than that. Therefore, I cannot accept responsibility for the hat, hair, giant shirt or anything else really. I think the only thing I put in my little Chevy Chevette (yes, really) was my rifle, ammunition and my boots. Seriously. What else could a girl possibly need?

To my girl readers: Yes, it's real. Yes, I shot it. No, I did not gut it. There were always too many Good Ole Boys who worried I'd knick the wrong thing. And, trust me, you don't want to knick the wrong thing. Eeewww.

To my guy readers: Yes, I know it's not a real buck. I found those antlers while hiking up over yet another ridge. And why yes, she is as big or bigger than your average white tail down here. Thankyouverymuch.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Wow. Your family still welcomed me after all my silly antics...I'm not sure if that's meant as a compliment for them or sympathy.

House Cleaning Issues

*Gratuitous old kid pics will be scattered throughout post to keep your attention. Thank you, The Editor.

Okay y'all I have to do a house keeping post before a certain character (and I do mean that literally - if FIL is anything...it's a character) comes to Plainsville. After he's here I may be a little more sidetracked than normal. Which is not saying much I know. But please just humor me here.

First on the house keeping agenda is the music of this here little blog. I would so like your opinions of the music. I have tried to put a poll on the sidebar and failed miserably. Maybe I'll give it another go. But for now these are the questions I need your valued input on.

1. 
   
   Do you like music while you read?
2. 
   
   If you do like music, please rate the first few songs 1-10 (10 being best).
3. 
   
   Do you prefer me to change the songs frequently, occasionally, after a few months?
4. 
   
   Have you had or are you having a problem with the speed of the music (sounds fast or like the Chipmunks)? If so, is it resolved or on going?
5. 
   
   Any requests, other comments or suggestions?

Second on the house keeping agenda are subjects of posts.
Would you like:

• more pictures, less talk?
• recipes? (Shared by others, not just mine for Pete's Sake...whoever Pete is.)
• to be, or just read a few guest bloggers in the future?

* You do realize I'm just askin' right? These questions don't necessarily mean I can follow through with any of this. Inquiring minds just want to know.




Love Note to my Big Shooter: I could not have possibly picked a better match than you. Thank you Match Maker. He's perfect for me in every way.


Update on the Big Shooter: He was doing fabulous. Getting stronger. Eating well. Getting lots of rest. Just really making great strides. On Thursday he started getting nauseated after lunch. Friday, same thing after dinner. Saturday and Sunday same thing. Today we are right back where we began this whole journey. He's having trouble keeping food down. He's extremely nauseated and has a constant dull pain in the center of his gut as soon as he eats... AAAAAARRRRHHHH! He, of course, doesn't want to eat anything I offer b/c he would just rather skip the whole ordeal. We have a doctor's visit tomorrow afternoon. Please keep the doctor in your prayers all afternoon. We need Wisdom to surpass all understanding and come to rest in his diagnosis for B.S. Thanks friends. We love you so.

Happy Beginning of Summer!

How to find the cheapest gas in town!

Do you find yourself checking the gas price each time you pass a station to compare with the guy down the road. We all are trying to catch a break these days...even if it's small!

At first, we relied on friends and word of mouth. Now, we use a couple sites on the net that stay updated to find the cheapest place quickly.

1) http://gasprices.mapquest.com/

2) http://www.gasbuddy.com/

3) http://www.motortrend.com/gas_prices/index.html

All you need to do on each is type in your zip code. (Do NOT spend time filling in anything else!) and up pops 10-20 stations with their prices, locations, and usually a map.

**Our fave is #1 - Mapquest. They always seem to find the cheapest and closest. For instance, tonight it found a station that was 8 cents less than everyone else. I filled up on my way to a ball game!

Be sure to go on back (or over) to Rocks in my Dryer! and check out all the great WFMW tips!

In Rememberance

We are thinking of so many today.

A side effect of major surgery

"What perfume are you wearing?", he asked as he was getting in the car.

"Ralph Lauren Safari. Why?", I asked back since he had such a pained look on his face.

"Ummm...", was his brilliant response.

"Just spill it. You obviously don't seem to be enjoying it," I replied as I was wondering why he was choosing now to tell me this little bit of information since I've been wearing this particular fragrance off and on for like 3 years.

"It's not that I don't like it. I did. I mean I do...It's just...well...it's..."

"It's just what Love? Spill it."

"Well, did you bathe in it this morning?"

"??????"

"I mean it's a little over powering. Okay, alot. I can hardly breathe in here."

Again, "??????"

"So did you put a bunch on this morning?" He's asking me this because it is 6:30 PM and I would have put it on around 9:00 AM. (That's 9 1/2 hours later if you're adding on your fingers.)

"No, Sweetie. I did the norm. One spray neck. One spray wrist."

After a moment it dawned on me, "Hmmm. Guess the Bionic Smell is alive and well."

*I should have realized sooner because I am well aware it is alive and well. I have cooked a few "comfort foods" for him the last few weeks and when I asked why he didn't gobble them up, his comments have always referenced smell. It didn't "smell normal" or "it didn't smell right". Thank goodness all the FABULOUS, OUTSTANDING, DELICIOUS meals friends have brought over have been "new" smells to him, so he has gobbled them up. I seriously need the recipes from all those girls because I will be fixing those meals in the near future because apparently he can't eat the Shooter household norm.

Never thought I'd hear (little lone accept) that excuse for my bad cooking: "It doesn't smell right."


Love Note to my Big Shooter: After 20+ years together I love it when you surprise me with some little tid bit I didn't know about you...or more than likely tried to forget.

Plum Tuckers Him Out!

Healin' y'all. It takes some serious, tiresome work.

I am amazed at the human body.

It can have spare(ish) organs removed and not skip a beat.

It can endure unimaginable pain one minute and be at rest the next.

It can go with out sustenance for loooong periods of time.

It can be filled to the brim with nuclear fluids and flush them out without harm.

It can have vital organs removed and keep right on tickin'.

It is the ultimate testament to God's perfect handiwork.

Thank you God for Your hand in Big Shooter's life.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Thank you for spending time with your offspring today doing some serious bonding when obviously you were exhausted from your extensive research on Craig's List. You are a true Trooper! I love you.

Update on Big Shooter: It has been 23 days since the big guy had a major organ removed. Much to my chagrin, he has been released to drive on short errands. Much to his chagrin, a tragedy occurred on one of his first forays. He is eating and keeping it down. His remaining kidney is doing wonderfully. His bionic smell has not abated. More on that tomorrow. He's beginning to go a little stir-crazy. Good thing his Dad is coming next week. (F.I.L.)

"I think I'm gonna get sick..."

Did Big Shooter say this after digesting the words, "You have renal cell carcinoma," from his surgeon?

No.

He said it a few moments after showing me this...

???

Uh...ohhh...

Yep. It's what you think it is...

...gulp...

At this point I glance at him...he's gray y'all. GRAY.

In order to get the full impact of this post y'all will have to slowly read the next few sentences with a trembling voice.

"I realized it'd fallen out of my pocket in the parking lot. I saw it and tried to hurry...(he's grimacing with remembrance at this point). The guy in the truck saw me waving as he backed over it... so he pulled forward over it - again..." I kid you not, his voice cracked at this point.

I - could not get over how GRAY he looked, held my sides so I wouldn't split them, tried to offer sincere condolences...

Crumb #1 - said, "What's on the side of your head Daddy? Wow. I think it's your blood vessel... It is. Mommy, look at Daddy's head. Why is that vein stickin' out so far?"

Crumb #2 - sat quietly watching the whole ordeal...until her father went into the bathroom to gather his wits. Then she jumped off her chair, patted her body down like Daddy does when he's misplaced the Crackberry, clutched her chest faking a heart attack...and dramatically crashed to the floor.

We are a loving, sympathetic bunch here. We should write Hallmark cards.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Darlin' it was a blessing in disguise. It brought your full-blown addiction out into the light. No one knew the extent until now. Love, It's been almost 36 hours. You're going to have to pull yourself up by your house shoes and get on with life... We'll get you a new Girl. I promise...ish...

Post Note: As I was hitting the Publish button I yelled to the bedroom, "Hey Love, would you like me to e-mail you this post on your Crackberry so you can read it back there?" A little while later I heard quiet sobbing. ???? Oh! Forgot...Oops.

Crumb Snatcher Speak

Boy Child, after spotting a package of Oyster Crackers in the grocery store: "What?! These aren't unleaded." Then looking over at me, "You know... at church when we are suppose to be eating unleaded bread and wine?"

Where's the cheapest gas?

Since we have lived in Oklahoma we have only purchased gas from QT. That would by Quick Trip for all you out of staters. They are clean, friendly, and they guarantee their gasoline. But since the prices have skyrocketed we get it where it's least expensive.

At first, we relied on friends and word of mouth. Now, we use a couple sites on the net that stay updated to find the cheapest place quickly.
1) http://gasprices.mapquest.com/
2) http://www.gasbuddy.com/
3) http://www.motortrend.com/gas_prices/index.html

All you need to do on each is type in your zip code. (Do NOT spend time filling in anything else!) and up pops 10-20 stations with their prices, locations, and usually a map.

**Our fave is #1 - Mapquest. They always seem to find the cheapest and closest. For instance, tonight it found a station that was 8 cents less than everyone else. I filled up on my way to a ball game!

Be sure to go on back (or over) to Rocks in my Dryer! and check out all the great WFMW tips!

I used to have a lady's name from CA who all the gurus turn to when it comes to gas price fluctuations...but I can't seem to find her anywhere. If anyone knows who I am talking about - PLEASE leave her name or website in a comment. Purty Please!

Update on BS: The Big Shooter is doing good. He is getting out of the house. He has been running a few errands with us. He naturally thinks he is stronger and can handle more than his body actually can...so he wears himself out...But, he is getting up and around beautifully! He had a recent HUGE TRAUMA that I will share with you tomorrow though.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Nothin mushy or sentimental tonight. I am just proud of how far you've come. You are amazing big guy. I love you. Oh, and hey, in case I haven't said this at least thirty times today, "Dude, you're cancer-free...!"

It's contagious...

"I am not in denial...I am ignoring them. "

"Why Mommee? Why meeee?"

Poor thing caught a glimpse of himself.

"Are you kiddin' me? Hanes...?!"

"Don't they know I'm a Fruit of the Loom kinda Pug"

FIL thinks it might be in the genes...

He sent me his proof...

Why?....why?

Am I missing something?

Or are they missing some thing?

Like a Normal Gene.

I thought it was just 9 yo boy humor.

Then I remembered these...and realized it was just boy humor.

Now, I am wondering if it's contagious...

I guess I'll have that answer when I see Big Shooter with boxers on his head.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: I so love you. I love you in your boxers. I love you out of your boxers. I would even love you with boxers on your head...from afar. But with all my heart.

One week's worth of food...

Several things reminded me of this info lately.

1) The fact I can spend $60 at the grocery and it can all fit in two bags.
2) Someone is planning, purchasing, preparing an entire meal for us every Mon, Wed, and Fri of May...a huge added expense to their family's budget.

Since prices are going up...and up, I have been tightening the belt when it comes to grocery items. Not skimping. Just careful and conscious. I made me start thinking of all the families around the world. Which reminded me of this email I received long ago from a friend.

It made me re-think my family's prosperity...again. We are wealthy beyond measure in so many ways.

Following are typical families from around the world with one week's worth of food. (You'll notice the American fam includes their meals out.) Very interesting and eye-opening to me.

Let me know what you think...

Germany: The Melander family of Bargteheide. Food expenditure for one week: 375.39 Euros or $500.07

United States: The Revis family of North Carolina. Food expenditure for one week: $341.98

Japan : The Ukita family of Kodaira City. Food expenditure for one week: 37,699 Yen or $317.25

Italy : The Manzo family of Sicily. Food expenditure for one week: 214.36 Euros or $260.11

Mexico: The Casales family of Cuernavaca. Food expenditure for one week: 1, 862.78 Mexican Pesos or $189.09

Poland: The Sobczynscy family of Konstancin-Jeziorna. Food expenditure for one week: 582.48 Zlotys or $151.27

Egypt: The Ahmed family of Cairo. Food expenditure for one week: 387.85 Egyptian Pounds or $68.53

Ecuador : The Ayme family of Tingo. Food expenditure for one week: $31.55

Bhutan: The Namgay family of Shingkhey Village. Food expenditure for one week: 224.93 ngultrum or $5.03

Chad: The Aboubakar family of Breidjing Camp. Food expenditure for one week: 685 CFA Francs or $1.23

Love Note for my Big Shooter: Thank you for taking care of this family and always being a fabulous provider. We appreciate you Daddy-O!

I've got diddlee squat...

In other words, I've got nothin' to blather about. It's rare I have nothin' to say. But every so often it happens.
Let me see if I can eek out some thing about each player today.

Big Shooter: Let's see. He received some new fangled speaker holders somethinger others from the UPS dude. He's very excited about them. I tried to pretend. He could see right through me..."thanks for pretending to be excited and care" he says to me as he's assembling them. I also accidentally gouged him in the giant wound tonight. Girl Child was handing me her FULL, HEAVY water bottle from the back seat to open, I missed it, it hit him square in the incision, and then I gouged him in my slower-than-snot attempt to catch it! OHHHHH...he sucked his breath in and his eyes bugged out...BAD... Please don't comment on it. I feel horrible. He's drugged up now and not feelin' any pain. He also decided today that after 40 years of Tighty Whiteys he prefers boxers...I don't know if it's the meds or the...ahem..."freedom" he's experiencing that he prefers. I'm also not sure I want to know the answer to that question right now either.

Girl Child: Tied a 25 foot rope around her head and hummed the Wedding Dredge, I mean March, while dancing through the house for 30 minutes...I don't know why. I don't think I'd understand why if she told me why. She is also madly in love with Prince Caspian.

Boy Child: LOVED Prince Caspian...has one more day of baseball before his season is over...got on base a couple times tonight...asked me if I thought we'd get to go to Mars before we die about a bajillion times today. (He's a tad obsessive compulsive. I do NOT know where it comes from.)

Me-Straight Shooter: Let's see, besides gouging the Love of my Life in the gut, I spit (well, misted) the lady in front of me with Diet Coke during a completely unexpected comedic moment in Prince Caspian. I tried to pretend it didn't happen (even though my nose was burning b/c in my attempt to keep it in my mouth...it came out my nose...and I think my tear ducts too...). And I offered to wear pasties to my child's baseball game tomorrow since the Good Mothers were contemplating wearing their old cheer leading outfits...Hey, I figured if they were going to remind their husbands why they married them...I'd remind mine why he married me too...

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Boxers, baseball, fantasy crushes, humiliating embarrassment, pasties...nothin' out of the ordinary for us. In fact, it's just another ordinary day. The kind we like best.

Laminin

I have this certain girlfriend who listens.
Even when I don't know I am voicing anything but blather, she hears what's on my mind.
Last night at a baseball game she asked about the Big Shooter and I told her about the staple removal and the 3 inch gaping hole... sorry, let me get off the floor. And NO, to all who know me, I did not help him change anything, pack anything, wick anything, tape anything. I just stood on the other side of the bathroom door and supervised...then checked his handy work. Poor guy. Someone come save him. Please.
Anyway, in the conversation last night I (imagine this) was just talkin', sayin' comments like "What's holding it together?, God has made our bodies so amazing." and again, "EWWW, it's gross...I wonder what's holding it together?"

This was what she sent me late last night.

Hello Girlfriend,
Just to encourage you, I saw this tonight and it is laminin that is holding that belly together, so don't fear!! :)
Check it out, you have to watch the whole thing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e4zgJXPpI4

Let me just say, "Wow. Once again, she was listening and hit the nail on the head."

Before you click on the Youtube link please read, really read this verse:

Colossians 1:15-20 (NIV)

15He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. 17He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. 19For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, 20and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Thank you. Just, thank you. You know why.

Dear Friends,

The words "Thank you" and "blessing" do not even come close to covering what we feel for all of you.
How do you begin to say thank you for visiting us, praying for us, holding us, cooking for us, caring for us, babysitting for us, worrying over us, cleaning under our bed, bringing us several of anything we've asked for...etc., etc., and ETC.?!
The fact that you all take the extra time and effort involved makes our hearts swell with gratitude.
The fact you care about and want to show us your friendship makes our hearts swell with love for you.
The fact we have the greatest friends on the planet is overwhelming us at the moment!
So truly, all we can say is, "Thank you. You are more blessing than we deserve."
We love you Friend. Every one of you.

Update and Love Note for today are in post below.

Encapsulated

We have had many inquiries as to Big Shooter's diagnosis so we figured a kidney cancer explanation was due.
This is how a surgeon friend explained it to us shortly after all was said and done.
"Imagine the kidney being inside a layer of denim, only even stronger and thicker. It is called encapsulated because the kidney is in a sort of capsule. People can rupture, break or tear their kidney inside the capsule. So as long as the cancerous mass or tumor is encapsulated or kept inside the thick layer the cancer cells cannot spread."
Makes perfect sense to us now.
The morning Dr. Kangaroo told us the Good News, he shared a little info that instilled God's mercy in us just a tad more, if that was possible. He said, "The tumor was bulging at the top, trying to come through."
Wow. God is good.

Update: The Big Shooter had most of his staples removed today. I say most because some had to stay in where hehasagaping3inchholethatifIlookattoocloselyIwillpassoutandbeofevenlesshelp. Shoo. So glad I got that out okay. Trust me, it is ewwwww. I had to take a picture of it with his Crackberry to show him an up close version. I promise to not post that. Double ewwwww. He had a very active day so he is back in bed and I doubt he will see the light of day tomorrow. Healing is tiring, tough work y'all! I would sooner have wanted another brain surgery than what he's been through that's for sure. Keep him in your prayers please. He needs continued strength and stamina. Thank you Prayer Warriors!

Love Note to my Big Shooter: I feel at times my heart is encapsulated. It has been filled to over flowing, torn, squeezed, re-filled, broken and bursting with love for you all in the same day from watching you go through this. Yet, it always stays in tact. Encapsulated by your love.
gag...sputter...cough.

I hate, hate, hate ironing...but I love, love, LOVE the blog Rocks in my Dryer.

I have read some stinkin' fantastic tips over there on Works for my Wednesday.

(Skip on over, browse through til you find something interesting and click on that link.)

So I finally came up with a tip I could share...on a Wednesday...when I actually remembered!

I bought the Big Shooter a Nice New Iron for Father's Day last year - and he loooooved it!

I do not like to iron. I will do anything to get out of it...blech! Soooo, a former bachelor friend of mine told me this little tid bit a few months ago...

Spray "Spray Starch" on the offending wrinkles then throw the garment in the dryer for a few minutes and Wa-La! No more wrinkles!

Now it is by no means pressed and starched. But, it serves it's purpose fabulously! Woo Hoo!

I do it all the time.

Do you have any little hints to pass on today?

P.S. I already put a Wordless Wednesday post up earlier with a Big Shooter Update on it for those of you who come to find out the scoop... sorry about my lackadaisical ways in that regard. Really. I mean it. He is always on my mind. (Ringing his little "I need something bell" may have something to do with that...I may take it from him. Just kidding. I would never take it. Misplace it maybe, but never take it...)

Kinda, Sorta Wordless Wednesday...okay, not

Rocket Launcher

See ya on the moon Boy Child.

Update on B.S. - Sorry. I know many of you read this to find out how the Big Shooter is doing...I'm blaming it on the fact I am an Only Child and it's all about me...will that fly?

In his words, "There are good days and bad days." He visited Sashi's farm with me on Mother's Day, her husband Taco Bandito was doin' guy stuff, BS was feelin' gooood on heavy narcotics, he thought he'd just supervise...he's been in bed for two days now.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Thanks for passing on that Imagination Gene! I love it! Because of you, our hacienda is never dull!

Party Napkins + Percocet = Fun Time

The last day my mom was here Big Shooter was doing well enough to be left alone for an extended amount of time. Thank you Percocet. So my mom and I ran a few girl errands. At one stop we found ourselves smiling, then giggling, then guffawing & snorting over a rack of party napkins with sayings. I am curious to see if y'all think some of them are as funny as we did...or if it's a case of You had to be there?

1. I don't repeat gossip, so listen carefully.
2. Don't confuse my tolerance with hospitality.
3. I'm still hot, it just comes in flashes.
4. Born free...now I'm expensive.
5. I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent.
6. Stupidity got us into this mess...why can't it get us out?
7. You can't make everyone happy, so let's concentrate on me.
8. The nice part of living in a small town is when I don't know what I'm doing, someone else always does.
9. I'm not a nag. I'm a motivational speaker.
10. You have to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink.
11. I'm not a housewife, but I'm desperate.
12. If you can't say anything good about someone, come sit next to me.
13. If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
14. You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without hanging on.
15. Every time I hear the dirty word "exercise" I have to wash out my mouth with chocolate.
16. Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.
17. Countless people have eaten food from this kitchen and have gone on to live normal lives.
18. Oh, I heard you - I just don't care.
19. Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out, but I can usually shut her up with cookies.
20. To save time, let's assume I know everything.
21. You can't scare me, I have children.
22. Go braless, it pulls the wrinkles out of your face.

and my fave...
23. Do you want to talk to the man in charge, or the woman who knows what's going on?
Now, please tell me if you read through with a straight face, a grin, a smirk, or a belly laugh...
Love Note to my Big Shooter: For you to pick #21 as your fave shocked me! You've come along way Baby Cakes! My grandparents used to be "the only old people you could be around" and my 3rd graders? No way Jose'! They scared you more than having rabies! It is true though. Once you had Crumb Snatchers - you became Joe Fearless.

Shooter Speak

• Girl Child (8 yo) and I were having a girl talk about boys when she laid this one on me. "It's bad enough Daddy knows I have a huge crush on Logan... We can't let him know I might have a little one on John because, let me tell ya, it'd be the end of his world."

• Last year we studied ancient history which included polytheism within many cultures. Both Crumb Snatchers have asked questions extensively on this subject. So I found it particularly hilarious today after Boy Child had watched a video Grampa sent of two teens dancing in a 50s style and asked, "Did they believe in Gods back then?" So Dad, how's your chariot holding up since you apparently are ancient?

• While taking my mother to the airport I was contemplating how much the weather was changing and how close summer was around the corner. I was ticking through all the items spring brings each year like tornadoes, gorgeous flowers, out of control allergies and kite flying when I realized a huge one was missing! "Hey, it's already May and we haven't had any June Bugs yet!" I'm going with the lack of sleep excuse thank you.

• We start each school day with a little nature trivia and a riddle or two. Today's riddle was, "What did the girl octopus say to the boy octopus?" Before I could blink, Girl Child yelled out, "Suuuucker!"

Love Note to my Big Shooter: I'm so very glad you were a suuuuucker...

Dear Mom,

Thank you is inadequate.
How do I make sure you understand the depth of my gratitude.
I was able to take care of my husband , while you left yours to take care of himself.
I did not worry about my children, because you were doing that for me.
I did not have to look for something clean to wear because every item in my house was laundered.
I did not have to remember little tummies were rumbling because they weren't, thanks to you.
I did not have to reach over a stack of dishes to turn on the water. In fact, I didn't recognize the sink as my own.
My children's faces were lit up with smiles and their bellies shook with laughter. Those were missing for far too long. Thank you.
Each time my stress or worry level reached a new high you listened, sympathized or offered gentle advice.
You endured Pug hair for us...lots of pug hair.
You put your very hectic and busy schedule on hold for me so I could care for the Love of My Life...and for that, I cannot find the right words to say how grateful I am.
Other than, Thank you Mom. I love you.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Okay, so we both know you've always been the very worst at being taken care of when you're not feeling well...so thank you for letting me take care of and baby you through this very serious process. (I'm sure the heavy narcotic sedation helps. But thanks just the same!)

Pain Med Update

Ummm...well, as it turns out theywereinmypursethewholetime. But I did find some very interesting things under the bed and behind the dresser...

And to answer the question of had I already called the doctor...
Absolutely. Remember I'm the big pansy who went through the Night of Pure Hell with the Big Shooter when his epidural quit. THAT is what is so amazing to all of us in the first place. That I would misplace the one thing he must have to not repeat any of that glorious time spent together...And yes, after letting me know I was indeed the biggest bimbo on the planet and how they have to notify the police and DEA I lost the meds and am asking for more they called Dr. Kangaroo out of surgery to write me another script...which of course I did not need after all because I am indeed the biggest bimbo on the planet andtheywereinmypursethewholetime!
I also located his CrackBerry charger if you were wondering about that too...in the hospital Lost & Found. They closed at 4pm. I arrived at 4:04 to retrieve it...
Other than those few minor glitches, I had a great day. Thankyouverymuch!

Release comes in many forms

I did not know there were so many ways to feel release. Big Shooter walked over, put out his wrist with hospital bands and handed me scissors. After cutting them I asked if he felt released. He raised his eyebrow and said, "I felt real release when that thingy was no longer attached to my...thingy. (catheter) And when I could take a shower or use the restroom without a nurse bursting in to "check on my status" b/c I'd unhooked myself from the heart monitor...or when I was able to...ummm...well...ummm, rid my bowels of things hanging about. THAT was release." I said, "Oh, I just meant did you feel release because the bracelets were tight...but, thanks for the insight on your hospital stay."

Had a day.

Not an overly bad day. Not a good day. Just a day.

• Big Shooter was sick this morning...gas pains. Bad ones. Take your breath away, double you over, cried like a baby kind of gas pains. I guess that happens when you take heavy, heavy doses of narcotics and get constipated...
• Didn't school the kids again...someone please call DHS so I can get a break...please.
• The kids are not at all thrilled they will be attending school through the summer. When I explained they could either get over that issue or I could hold them back and just repeat this year they were horrified. "What?! You can do that?" Uh, yeah. Remember I'm the teacher, principal, board of education and truant officer.
• I (or someone in this house on a whole lot of drugs) have lost (yes - L O S T ) the pain meds. We are gimping along right now on some left-overs from his gallbladder surgery, buuut...he's not a happy camper right now. We have torn-the-house-apart. No luck.
• I get to dig through 4 very full, smelly, nasty, gross, Iamnotlookingforwardtoit, trash cans in the morning.
• I somehow forgot about the Giant Slice across BS's abdomen when I roughly reached over and brushed off some cracker crumbs on his stomach area today...it was bad. bad.
• I realized I haven't read a real book since February. Me. I live to read. February. Sad. Just sad.
• I don't even have any suggestions for anything good to read right now. Do you?
• Apparently I forgot the wall charger for the CrackBerry at the hospital. I did not do it on purpose. I swear. Big Shooter thinks I did and he's hardly talkin' to me right now. Who cold blame him? First his drugs and now his CrackBerry...he's afraid of what's next I am sure.

Nothing so horrible I have to go to confession, but then again there didn't seem like anything good today either. Well, that's not true. My mom is here helping save the day. That is very good. She has saved me for almost two weeks now. Her last day is tomorrow and I want her to stay two more weeks.

I'm done whinin' and complain'. Thanks for listening. I am going to bed now. Tomorrow is a new day, Thank You God.

Good Night. Amen.

Love Note to Big Shooter: Sorry about your meds and CrackBerry darlin'. It's been a horrible, no good, very bad day for you. Tomorrow is always better.

Sorry, having technical difficulties.

Due to the fact I am blogging from my pantry since the tornado sirens are blaring I am unable to publish any meaningful posts this evening.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Sorry there's not enough room in here for the bed...if you blow away we promise to come look for you in Missouri or Arkansas...or better yet, follow the yellow brick road home Big Guy!

Who knew...?

Click on it and tell me what your blog's reading level is! We already know it's skewed...I mean c'mon, GENIUS?!?

Bionic Smell?

I had a small brain surgery a few summers ago and when I returned home I kid you not, I had bionic hearing.
The regular hum of the refrigerator running sounded like a train going through the kitchen. I told BS someone was on our porch with a bucket...it was our neighbor across the street behind his house in the garage carrying a plastic bucket. I am not making this stuff up. BS thought I'd fallen in a vat of toxic slime and had become like some sort of super hero (well in my case Super Villain).
I told him to please shoo the neighbor kids playing on our front wall away before someone fell off and sued us. He came back into the house with a weirder look on his face than normal and told me the only kids outside where the ones at the end of the next block.
So imagine how quickly I understood when BS started to make smell, fragrance or aroma comments the moment we got home.
Bionic I tell you.

• "Did you just cut up carrots?" Uh, yesss. I am in the kitchen. He is in the back of the house in our bed.
• "Did the BDP just let one?" I had to go into the living room to check, which by the way is even further away from the bedroom than the kitchen!
• "Can you do me a favor when you get a chance? Can you wash the curtains hanging behind the bed?" ????? Ummm, sure. I'll get right on that Big Shooter.

Bionic smell. This outta be interesting.

Love Notes to my Big Shooter: It's so good to be home with all those near and dear to me under one roof. I am so thrilled to have you home Solo Kidney Man! Have you let it sink in yet BS? Cancer Free (in awe), Cancer Free (high squeaky voice), Cancer free (deep voice), CANCER FREE (yelled), cancer free (whispered). Yep, cancer free.

More faces from the week...

I know y'all are getting tired of hospital pix. But, here's the deal. These nurses saved our bacon the past several days and I told 'em they'd be famous if they'd wear the stinkin' sombrero and let me post their pics. I just neglected, I mean forgot, to mention there were only 2 faithful readers to hear their accolades... So please indulge me one more hospital people post.

Above, in the blue, is Danna. She rocked when it came to shootin' it straight with explanations and scheduled meds Baby!! Thanks Danna.

Above is Trish. She was married 26 years ago to the Love of her Life when she was 16! They are still on their honeymoon...even though he is serving his second volunteered gig in Iraq. She, along with the rockinest nurse ever - Valerie, were The Angels of the Night on Thurs. night when BS's epidural went AWOL. Trish held B's hand, spoke calmly and confidently to both of us. She was our Calm in the Hell Storm. Thank you Trish.

We were unable to get a pic of Valerie. I don't know what to say that would be adequate praise for her. She did one of two things the whole night. 1. She had already ordered, asked about, made the phone call, or accomplished what ever needed to be done for BS before I could even ask, or 2. Said, "I'm on it," if I asked her to call the doctor back up even though he'd barely had time to return to his floor or if it was #3 phone call of the very early hours in an hours time... Thank you Trish. If the world were filled with nurses like you...Wow!

Here's The Dude. Dr. Rickner - kidney removal specialist. Does anyone remember Captain Kangaroo? Do you think he looks like him? And take a look at those hands! Now you know why B's incision is so huge. The man had to be able to get those ham hocks in there!! I absolutely trust Dr. Kangaroo. He was my kind of dude. A real Straight Shooter.

US Beef friends who were game for the Sombreros! Visits from The Office friends made him smile all afternoon. Thank you to all so much for taking the time to let him know the office can't run without him!

And thanks again for the hats girls - Lori & Angela - they have so been the perfect prop!

This guy is a great friend to the BS. He came during the days to see if there was anything he could do to help (like feed the BS broth, which the BS didn't remember or believe happened...). He was much like our Uncle Dwayne, who came in the evenings to do the same. Just offer any assistance he could to the BS or me. Dwayne, along with Sashi, have both witnessed what I call the Looney Tune eyes when BS is overly tired or in bad pain. I so appreciated these two gentlemen's help each day and night they were able to come! Thanks so much guys!