Dear Big Shooter, Happy Famiversary!

One year ago today we didn't know how long we'd have you.

Our family's future was on quicksand. And our minds were numb with fear.This year has been filled with extreme ups and downs, but not one day has passed that the three of us have not mentioned how grateful we are to still be a family that is whole and complete.

You are what makes us tick.

You are what makes us laugh.

You are what keeps us together.

You are this family.

Today is our family's Thanksgiving and we have been blessed beyond measure.

We want you to realize how precious and dear to our hearts the time you spend with us is.We love you.

Happy Famiversary Sledge!!

(thought I'd just throw in this picture of our little memorial to remind us of the passing of your kidney and the pesky cancer...the whole reason for Famiversary.)

October ~ The Squishy Month

Okay Girls...time for some serious business.

If you are near 40, have cancer in your fam or are just blessedly precautious October is the month for The Squish.

Here in the Shooter household we take this whole Awareness real serious.

Big Shooter's momma died of breast cancer when she was in her 40's.

His big sis is fighting breast cancer as I type this...she's winning.

My Grandmother has had a mastectomy on my Dad's side.

My aunt has had a mastectomy on my Mom's side.

I have several lumps "of interest" we keep a real close eye on.

Therefore, I have very regular Squish Appointments.

The first is the worst. You're not sure what to expect. You're nervous about the pain. But really, it's not bad...

And no one will be the wiser...

I jest. Really, it's not at all this bad. Please. Please make your appointment right now. Don't put it off for another moment. Take it from someone who's seen some cancer in her short life..."shoulda, woulda, coulda" is not an option.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: If I haven't told you lately Love, I am very, very proud to call you a Cancer Survivor. You are a real life hero. Thank you for your inspiration. I love you.

Frying pan is sounding good about now

I 've noticed in the past year or so a vast decline in my own and Big Shooter's memory capacity. One of us will be in the midst of telling the other some vital piece of information or hilarious story about our day when the one listening will say something like, "You've told me this before...like 3 times...". The one re-telling the account gets the same puzzled, incredulous look and always asks, "Really?" To which the punch line or important info is revealed to unbelieving and shocked ears.

Lately, I've realized the drugs/organ removal/cancer trauma/something has drastically affected what little capacity Big Shooter had left. He seems to be having difficulty remembering one conversation to the next. Let alone who the Crumbs and I are...

A recent conversation went like this.
Me: "Love, we'll be ready to go in just a few minutes..."
BS: "Go? Where?"
Me: "The pool... Remember, you called me and said you were coming home to have lunch and then go swim with us?"
BS: ?????? "Wow. Really?"
Me: Yes. (pause) You're gettin' really bad...what's up?
BS: Very matter of factly he shrugged and reminded/informed me, "I had cancer," like that made perfect sense.
Me: "Oh! Of course...that makes perfect sense. So...what do you think my excuse is?"
BS: Without a moment's hesitation and as matter-of-factly as could be he reminded/informed me, "You're insane."

It took him a few seconds for his brain to register, "Yes. I just said that out loud. And she heard me..." He just stood there with a deer in the headlight look.

The heavy, thick silence could have been cut with a knife. A butcher knife. Or an ax. Or a frying pan, for those of you who remember that little helpful piece of advice...

The good thing for him is - I guarantee he's already forgotten the whole conversation.

How about you all. How's your memory these days?


Love Note to my Big Shooter: Thanks for not forgetting all the little details of our courtship. It melts my heart whenever you recount a moment for me or the Crumbs...choke, sputter, GAG.

"Do you smell that?"

After a long afternoon of errands, Big Shooter walked in the house, through the living room, set some mail on the table in the kitchen, turned to me with a questioning look and asked, "Do you smell that?"

I thought, "Here we go. What smell could he be referring to with his Bionic Smell? Let's see could it be the bug bomb from yesterday, the burnt popcorn, bacon from breakfast, garlic at lunch, lingering fragrance of my perfume as I walked by him, or the Smelly Pug?" All of which, by the way, I cannot smell over the normal smell of the air freshener in the wall.

I said, "Sorry. Doesn't smell any different than normal"

"You're serious? You don't smell that?"

"Sorry Love. What's that smell like?"

"Like some one's been in here...painting with fingernail polish...but, we weren't here...soooo...", he finished as he got that I'll hunt down the intruder and make them pay for breaking into this house and painting their nails while we were away look.

"You're serious? You smell fingernail polish?" Wow. I continue to be surprised by this phenomenon. "Sorry to burst your bubble Love. But you aren't going to find any scary intruders with nicely painted nails in the closets or under the bed...I painted my toes in the bathroom before we left the house...about 4 hours ago."

Wow. (yes, again.) The disappointment. After weeks of being couped up & taken care of (read: bored out of his gourd), the prospect of finding an intruder with a feminine flair being yanked out from under him was a Huge Disappointment.

Mind you, not quite as big as having his Crackberry run over...twice.

But, a huge one none the less. So he went back to Lowe's to console his caveman soul.



Love Note to my Big Shooter: I love you Caveman. I love it when you beat your chest. I love it when you grunt. (well, kinda) I love it when you cook meat over a fire(ish). And I love it when you drag me to the back of the cave.

A side effect of major surgery

"What perfume are you wearing?", he asked as he was getting in the car.

"Ralph Lauren Safari. Why?", I asked back since he had such a pained look on his face.

"Ummm...", was his brilliant response.

"Just spill it. You obviously don't seem to be enjoying it," I replied as I was wondering why he was choosing now to tell me this little bit of information since I've been wearing this particular fragrance off and on for like 3 years.

"It's not that I don't like it. I did. I mean I do...It's just...well...it's..."

"It's just what Love? Spill it."

"Well, did you bathe in it this morning?"

"??????"

"I mean it's a little over powering. Okay, alot. I can hardly breathe in here."

Again, "??????"

"So did you put a bunch on this morning?" He's asking me this because it is 6:30 PM and I would have put it on around 9:00 AM. (That's 9 1/2 hours later if you're adding on your fingers.)

"No, Sweetie. I did the norm. One spray neck. One spray wrist."

After a moment it dawned on me, "Hmmm. Guess the Bionic Smell is alive and well."

*I should have realized sooner because I am well aware it is alive and well. I have cooked a few "comfort foods" for him the last few weeks and when I asked why he didn't gobble them up, his comments have always referenced smell. It didn't "smell normal" or "it didn't smell right". Thank goodness all the FABULOUS, OUTSTANDING, DELICIOUS meals friends have brought over have been "new" smells to him, so he has gobbled them up. I seriously need the recipes from all those girls because I will be fixing those meals in the near future because apparently he can't eat the Shooter household norm.

Never thought I'd hear (little lone accept) that excuse for my bad cooking: "It doesn't smell right."


Love Note to my Big Shooter: After 20+ years together I love it when you surprise me with some little tid bit I didn't know about you...or more than likely tried to forget.

Plum Tuckers Him Out!

Healin' y'all. It takes some serious, tiresome work.

I am amazed at the human body.

It can have spare(ish) organs removed and not skip a beat.

It can endure unimaginable pain one minute and be at rest the next.

It can go with out sustenance for loooong periods of time.

It can be filled to the brim with nuclear fluids and flush them out without harm.

It can have vital organs removed and keep right on tickin'.

It is the ultimate testament to God's perfect handiwork.

Thank you God for Your hand in Big Shooter's life.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Thank you for spending time with your offspring today doing some serious bonding when obviously you were exhausted from your extensive research on Craig's List. You are a true Trooper! I love you.

Update on Big Shooter: It has been 23 days since the big guy had a major organ removed. Much to my chagrin, he has been released to drive on short errands. Much to his chagrin, a tragedy occurred on one of his first forays. He is eating and keeping it down. His remaining kidney is doing wonderfully. His bionic smell has not abated. More on that tomorrow. He's beginning to go a little stir-crazy. Good thing his Dad is coming next week. (F.I.L.)

Where's the cheapest gas?

Since we have lived in Oklahoma we have only purchased gas from QT. That would by Quick Trip for all you out of staters. They are clean, friendly, and they guarantee their gasoline. But since the prices have skyrocketed we get it where it's least expensive.

At first, we relied on friends and word of mouth. Now, we use a couple sites on the net that stay updated to find the cheapest place quickly.
1) http://gasprices.mapquest.com/
2) http://www.gasbuddy.com/
3) http://www.motortrend.com/gas_prices/index.html

All you need to do on each is type in your zip code. (Do NOT spend time filling in anything else!) and up pops 10-20 stations with their prices, locations, and usually a map.

**Our fave is #1 - Mapquest. They always seem to find the cheapest and closest. For instance, tonight it found a station that was 8 cents less than everyone else. I filled up on my way to a ball game!

Be sure to go on back (or over) to Rocks in my Dryer! and check out all the great WFMW tips!

I used to have a lady's name from CA who all the gurus turn to when it comes to gas price fluctuations...but I can't seem to find her anywhere. If anyone knows who I am talking about - PLEASE leave her name or website in a comment. Purty Please!

Update on BS: The Big Shooter is doing good. He is getting out of the house. He has been running a few errands with us. He naturally thinks he is stronger and can handle more than his body actually can...so he wears himself out...But, he is getting up and around beautifully! He had a recent HUGE TRAUMA that I will share with you tomorrow though.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Nothin mushy or sentimental tonight. I am just proud of how far you've come. You are amazing big guy. I love you. Oh, and hey, in case I haven't said this at least thirty times today, "Dude, you're cancer-free...!"

Laminin

I have this certain girlfriend who listens.
Even when I don't know I am voicing anything but blather, she hears what's on my mind.
Last night at a baseball game she asked about the Big Shooter and I told her about the staple removal and the 3 inch gaping hole... sorry, let me get off the floor. And NO, to all who know me, I did not help him change anything, pack anything, wick anything, tape anything. I just stood on the other side of the bathroom door and supervised...then checked his handy work. Poor guy. Someone come save him. Please.
Anyway, in the conversation last night I (imagine this) was just talkin', sayin' comments like "What's holding it together?, God has made our bodies so amazing." and again, "EWWW, it's gross...I wonder what's holding it together?"

This was what she sent me late last night.

Hello Girlfriend,
Just to encourage you, I saw this tonight and it is laminin that is holding that belly together, so don't fear!! :)
Check it out, you have to watch the whole thing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e4zgJXPpI4

Let me just say, "Wow. Once again, she was listening and hit the nail on the head."

Before you click on the Youtube link please read, really read this verse:

Colossians 1:15-20 (NIV)

15He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. 17He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. 19For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, 20and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Thank you. Just, thank you. You know why.

Encapsulated

We have had many inquiries as to Big Shooter's diagnosis so we figured a kidney cancer explanation was due.
This is how a surgeon friend explained it to us shortly after all was said and done.
"Imagine the kidney being inside a layer of denim, only even stronger and thicker. It is called encapsulated because the kidney is in a sort of capsule. People can rupture, break or tear their kidney inside the capsule. So as long as the cancerous mass or tumor is encapsulated or kept inside the thick layer the cancer cells cannot spread."
Makes perfect sense to us now.
The morning Dr. Kangaroo told us the Good News, he shared a little info that instilled God's mercy in us just a tad more, if that was possible. He said, "The tumor was bulging at the top, trying to come through."
Wow. God is good.

Update: The Big Shooter had most of his staples removed today. I say most because some had to stay in where hehasagaping3inchholethatifIlookattoocloselyIwillpassoutandbeofevenlesshelp. Shoo. So glad I got that out okay. Trust me, it is ewwwww. I had to take a picture of it with his Crackberry to show him an up close version. I promise to not post that. Double ewwwww. He had a very active day so he is back in bed and I doubt he will see the light of day tomorrow. Healing is tiring, tough work y'all! I would sooner have wanted another brain surgery than what he's been through that's for sure. Keep him in your prayers please. He needs continued strength and stamina. Thank you Prayer Warriors!

Love Note to my Big Shooter: I feel at times my heart is encapsulated. It has been filled to over flowing, torn, squeezed, re-filled, broken and bursting with love for you all in the same day from watching you go through this. Yet, it always stays in tact. Encapsulated by your love.
gag...sputter...cough.

I hate, hate, hate ironing...but I love, love, LOVE the blog Rocks in my Dryer.

I have read some stinkin' fantastic tips over there on Works for my Wednesday.

(Skip on over, browse through til you find something interesting and click on that link.)

So I finally came up with a tip I could share...on a Wednesday...when I actually remembered!

I bought the Big Shooter a Nice New Iron for Father's Day last year - and he loooooved it!

I do not like to iron. I will do anything to get out of it...blech! Soooo, a former bachelor friend of mine told me this little tid bit a few months ago...

Spray "Spray Starch" on the offending wrinkles then throw the garment in the dryer for a few minutes and Wa-La! No more wrinkles!

Now it is by no means pressed and starched. But, it serves it's purpose fabulously! Woo Hoo!

I do it all the time.

Do you have any little hints to pass on today?

P.S. I already put a Wordless Wednesday post up earlier with a Big Shooter Update on it for those of you who come to find out the scoop... sorry about my lackadaisical ways in that regard. Really. I mean it. He is always on my mind. (Ringing his little "I need something bell" may have something to do with that...I may take it from him. Just kidding. I would never take it. Misplace it maybe, but never take it...)

Pain Med Update

Ummm...well, as it turns out theywereinmypursethewholetime. But I did find some very interesting things under the bed and behind the dresser...

And to answer the question of had I already called the doctor...
Absolutely. Remember I'm the big pansy who went through the Night of Pure Hell with the Big Shooter when his epidural quit. THAT is what is so amazing to all of us in the first place. That I would misplace the one thing he must have to not repeat any of that glorious time spent together...And yes, after letting me know I was indeed the biggest bimbo on the planet and how they have to notify the police and DEA I lost the meds and am asking for more they called Dr. Kangaroo out of surgery to write me another script...which of course I did not need after all because I am indeed the biggest bimbo on the planet andtheywereinmypursethewholetime!
I also located his CrackBerry charger if you were wondering about that too...in the hospital Lost & Found. They closed at 4pm. I arrived at 4:04 to retrieve it...
Other than those few minor glitches, I had a great day. Thankyouverymuch!

Release comes in many forms

I did not know there were so many ways to feel release. Big Shooter walked over, put out his wrist with hospital bands and handed me scissors. After cutting them I asked if he felt released. He raised his eyebrow and said, "I felt real release when that thingy was no longer attached to my...thingy. (catheter) And when I could take a shower or use the restroom without a nurse bursting in to "check on my status" b/c I'd unhooked myself from the heart monitor...or when I was able to...ummm...well...ummm, rid my bowels of things hanging about. THAT was release." I said, "Oh, I just meant did you feel release because the bracelets were tight...but, thanks for the insight on your hospital stay."

Had a day.

Not an overly bad day. Not a good day. Just a day.

• Big Shooter was sick this morning...gas pains. Bad ones. Take your breath away, double you over, cried like a baby kind of gas pains. I guess that happens when you take heavy, heavy doses of narcotics and get constipated...
• Didn't school the kids again...someone please call DHS so I can get a break...please.
• The kids are not at all thrilled they will be attending school through the summer. When I explained they could either get over that issue or I could hold them back and just repeat this year they were horrified. "What?! You can do that?" Uh, yeah. Remember I'm the teacher, principal, board of education and truant officer.
• I (or someone in this house on a whole lot of drugs) have lost (yes - L O S T ) the pain meds. We are gimping along right now on some left-overs from his gallbladder surgery, buuut...he's not a happy camper right now. We have torn-the-house-apart. No luck.
• I get to dig through 4 very full, smelly, nasty, gross, Iamnotlookingforwardtoit, trash cans in the morning.
• I somehow forgot about the Giant Slice across BS's abdomen when I roughly reached over and brushed off some cracker crumbs on his stomach area today...it was bad. bad.
• I realized I haven't read a real book since February. Me. I live to read. February. Sad. Just sad.
• I don't even have any suggestions for anything good to read right now. Do you?
• Apparently I forgot the wall charger for the CrackBerry at the hospital. I did not do it on purpose. I swear. Big Shooter thinks I did and he's hardly talkin' to me right now. Who cold blame him? First his drugs and now his CrackBerry...he's afraid of what's next I am sure.

Nothing so horrible I have to go to confession, but then again there didn't seem like anything good today either. Well, that's not true. My mom is here helping save the day. That is very good. She has saved me for almost two weeks now. Her last day is tomorrow and I want her to stay two more weeks.

I'm done whinin' and complain'. Thanks for listening. I am going to bed now. Tomorrow is a new day, Thank You God.

Good Night. Amen.

Love Note to Big Shooter: Sorry about your meds and CrackBerry darlin'. It's been a horrible, no good, very bad day for you. Tomorrow is always better.

Bionic Smell?

I had a small brain surgery a few summers ago and when I returned home I kid you not, I had bionic hearing.
The regular hum of the refrigerator running sounded like a train going through the kitchen. I told BS someone was on our porch with a bucket...it was our neighbor across the street behind his house in the garage carrying a plastic bucket. I am not making this stuff up. BS thought I'd fallen in a vat of toxic slime and had become like some sort of super hero (well in my case Super Villain).
I told him to please shoo the neighbor kids playing on our front wall away before someone fell off and sued us. He came back into the house with a weirder look on his face than normal and told me the only kids outside where the ones at the end of the next block.
So imagine how quickly I understood when BS started to make smell, fragrance or aroma comments the moment we got home.
Bionic I tell you.

• "Did you just cut up carrots?" Uh, yesss. I am in the kitchen. He is in the back of the house in our bed.
• "Did the BDP just let one?" I had to go into the living room to check, which by the way is even further away from the bedroom than the kitchen!
• "Can you do me a favor when you get a chance? Can you wash the curtains hanging behind the bed?" ????? Ummm, sure. I'll get right on that Big Shooter.

Bionic smell. This outta be interesting.

Love Notes to my Big Shooter: It's so good to be home with all those near and dear to me under one roof. I am so thrilled to have you home Solo Kidney Man! Have you let it sink in yet BS? Cancer Free (in awe), Cancer Free (high squeaky voice), Cancer free (deep voice), CANCER FREE (yelled), cancer free (whispered). Yep, cancer free.

More faces from the week...

I know y'all are getting tired of hospital pix. But, here's the deal. These nurses saved our bacon the past several days and I told 'em they'd be famous if they'd wear the stinkin' sombrero and let me post their pics. I just neglected, I mean forgot, to mention there were only 2 faithful readers to hear their accolades... So please indulge me one more hospital people post.

Above, in the blue, is Danna. She rocked when it came to shootin' it straight with explanations and scheduled meds Baby!! Thanks Danna.

Above is Trish. She was married 26 years ago to the Love of her Life when she was 16! They are still on their honeymoon...even though he is serving his second volunteered gig in Iraq. She, along with the rockinest nurse ever - Valerie, were The Angels of the Night on Thurs. night when BS's epidural went AWOL. Trish held B's hand, spoke calmly and confidently to both of us. She was our Calm in the Hell Storm. Thank you Trish.

We were unable to get a pic of Valerie. I don't know what to say that would be adequate praise for her. She did one of two things the whole night. 1. She had already ordered, asked about, made the phone call, or accomplished what ever needed to be done for BS before I could even ask, or 2. Said, "I'm on it," if I asked her to call the doctor back up even though he'd barely had time to return to his floor or if it was #3 phone call of the very early hours in an hours time... Thank you Trish. If the world were filled with nurses like you...Wow!

Here's The Dude. Dr. Rickner - kidney removal specialist. Does anyone remember Captain Kangaroo? Do you think he looks like him? And take a look at those hands! Now you know why B's incision is so huge. The man had to be able to get those ham hocks in there!! I absolutely trust Dr. Kangaroo. He was my kind of dude. A real Straight Shooter.

US Beef friends who were game for the Sombreros! Visits from The Office friends made him smile all afternoon. Thank you to all so much for taking the time to let him know the office can't run without him!

And thanks again for the hats girls - Lori & Angela - they have so been the perfect prop!

This guy is a great friend to the BS. He came during the days to see if there was anything he could do to help (like feed the BS broth, which the BS didn't remember or believe happened...). He was much like our Uncle Dwayne, who came in the evenings to do the same. Just offer any assistance he could to the BS or me. Dwayne, along with Sashi, have both witnessed what I call the Looney Tune eyes when BS is overly tired or in bad pain. I so appreciated these two gentlemen's help each day and night they were able to come! Thanks so much guys!

He says he's ready. Looks like it's Hasta la Vista Hospital!

GOING HOME! Home. home?

Home for the last week...

This is Big Shooter when it's time to shower and change into street clothes he insisted on me dragging up here... I guess in case we decide to stop at Sam's, Target... Hooter's on the way home? Where, by the way, I will re-dress him into his pajamas and put him in bed.

Hello...? Drugs...

Lots o' Drugs...

When I pull the sheet back. What should I see??!!?? Why the silly Crack Berry starin' at me.

So, while he was in La-La Land dreaming about texting, soothing ringtones, carpal tunnel syndrome in his thumbs...things of that nature, I decided to use the props and snap pics of him and share another new member of his harem.

Here would be yet another beautiful Angel. BS thinks his initials stand for Big Stud this week. Sorry pal. Back to reality today. Maybe that's why I can't seem to wake him long enough to get him dressed and out of here...? Hmmm... where'd I pack that pink water pitcher thingy? That should hold just the right amount of ice water...

Love Note to my Big Shooter: It has been a long, hard week Love. You have amazed me with your strength, endurance, attitude and outlook. Your reward? Cancer Free. CANCER FREE. Oh, and you get me for your nurse. I'll even wear a nurse getup if that helps.

Reunion!

Kisses for the Father...

Just in case you're wonderin', that is his knee up... NOT that you were wonderin' or any thing.
Please don't even ask about Crumb 1. I don't know what. Or why. He's a boy. He's nine. He's mine. Enough said.
The Baseball Player and Karate Kid have already hatched plans for photo ops with the hats once Daddy-O gets home...

(It's his knee, people!)

Say Cheese!

Thank you Jim for being game with the sombrero! Muchas Gracias Hombre'!
Fellow Solo Kidney Survivor, Karen!

Thank you for the advice, support and loving thoughts.

You can't see their wings, but...

trust me, they have 'em.

Yeah, he's sick!

See why I'm having such a hard time gettin' him home?

These are just two of the beautiful angels he's surrounded by!

Each day we have had the perfect pair of nurse and tech take care of Big Shooter.
These are two of the nurses...poor BS...tomorrow it's Bertha & Helga.

(me and my mom)