May 21, 2008

"I think I'm gonna get sick..."


Did Big Shooter say this after digesting the words, "You have renal cell carcinoma," from his surgeon?

No.

He said it a few moments after showing me this...

???

Uh...ohhh...


Yep. It's what you think it is...

...gulp...


At this point I glance at him...he's gray y'all. GRAY.

In order to get the full impact of this post y'all will have to slowly read the next few sentences with a trembling voice.

"I realized it'd fallen out of my pocket in the parking lot. I saw it and tried to hurry...(he's grimacing with remembrance at this point). The guy in the truck saw me waving as he backed over it... so he pulled forward over it - again..." I kid you not, his voice cracked at this point.

I - could not get over how GRAY he looked, held my sides so I wouldn't split them, tried to offer sincere condolences...

Crumb #1 - said, "What's on the side of your head Daddy? Wow. I think it's your blood vessel... It is. Mommy, look at Daddy's head. Why is that vein stickin' out so far?"

Crumb #2 - sat quietly watching the whole ordeal...until her father went into the bathroom to gather his wits. Then she jumped off her chair, patted her body down like Daddy does when he's misplaced the Crackberry, clutched her chest faking a heart attack...and dramatically crashed to the floor.

We are a loving, sympathetic bunch here. We should write Hallmark cards.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Darlin' it was a blessing in disguise. It brought your full-blown addiction out into the light. No one knew the extent until now. Love, It's been almost 36 hours. You're going to have to pull yourself up by your house shoes and get on with life... We'll get you a new Girl. I promise...ish...

Post Note: As I was hitting the Publish button I yelled to the bedroom, "Hey Love, would you like me to e-mail you this post on your Crackberry so you can read it back there?" A little while later I heard quiet sobbing. ???? Oh! Forgot...Oops.

10 comments:

Flea said...

LOL!!! My Hunny left his Crackberry on the roof of his truck once, only to watch it splinter into a million pieces in the rear view mirror.

Be grateful that you weren't the one responsible for its demise.

Maybe he'd like something sleek to replace it? I just got this one:
http://www.motorola.com/motoinfo/product/details.jsp?globalObjectId=164

My husband was playing with mine this morning and said, "It needs just one game!"
Me:"But it's a phone! And the screen is black and white!"
Him: "It could at least have Pong."

Anonymous said...

OH MY WORD!!! Does God have a sense of humor???
So sorry, BS
Sashi

FIL said...

Hey Darlin, What makes you think this is funny? Theres been a tragic death in the family.

Love ya

FIL

Sheila said...

Oh no... not the crackberry.
Realizing your addictions are one thing... going without is a whole different ballgame. You better get him a 'new girl' and quick. Withdrawals will be unbearable, not so much for him... but for you. Ü toodles, Sheila

Jennifer said...

I love #2's reaction...she's such a drama queen. It's too cute.

So sorry BS!!! Where should we send sympathy cards??? Or would you rather us make a donation to Crackberry Anonymous instead???

Anonymous said...

Just last night I saw an ad for the new Blackberry and I thought to myself, "how long until BS gets one of THOSE (said in sexy voice)." Now it will be really soon! Just think of all the fun hours you will have with her.
Heather

Queen B said...

Oh my goodness. My husband would have to be locked away. He ran over his laptop once and judging from the caveman scream I thought he'd cut off his arm.

Do you have any of that pain medicine left? Maybe you could just knock him out until you can find him a new one...

twithhoney said...

He's gotta stop the Crackberry cold turkey? Oh, the poor man! Maybe upgrading to an iPhone would ease his pain.

S. A. Merritt said...

lol! You are MEAN!
;)

Rachel said...

That's exactly how I would have handled it if hubs' crackberry had been demolished :-)
Love your sense of humor.
Karla shared this and I came over from there.