I'm in a dither...

Lately havin' too many topics to choose from to share has NOT been a problem.

'Member that whole dried up period I just supposedly went through and am now over? Well, I am over it. Mostly. But, I still wonder what to write about each time I sit down.

Tonight, I don't have that dilemma.

You see a while back my most lovely friend Podcastin' Cyndi, whom by the way is known as Hyacinth to the rest of the bloggin' world (Yeah, uh huh. That's right. I am friends with Ree's best friend. Go ahead...touch me. Ssssss. It burned ya, didn't it? Or were you rollin' your eyes because you can't believe I stooped to pullin' out my Pioneer Woman card again?)...any way, my lovely, lovely friend Podcastin' Cyndi suggested I write a series about "the charming neighborhood" I live in. (Stop laughin' family and real life friends...you're risking offending Ree's real life friend.) And tonight would be a good story to introduce the hood to y'all.

Or

I also wanted to share a most delightful little tidbit complete with fabulous and interesting pics about that state (Idaho) I am always writing about (Idaho) and haven't lived there full-time in over 20 years...

OR

The fact I cannot, no matter how much I beg, plead, demand, cajole, whine, barter or any other method you can name...get Big Shooter to purchase a new lawn mower. This is the same guy who steamrolled over his betrothed and only precious-beyond-words daughter in the parking lot to get into the electronics store to purchase a new TV last year. Apparently, mowers just don't do it for him like plasma?

I can't imagine why?

So...

I am going to bed.

I'm not elaborating on my new, young, hip, alternative-living, abundantly tatted and pierced neighbors whom I just returned home from the hospital with a few minutes ago.

I'm not elaborating on the phenomenon very few people (me and Big Shooter included) have witnessed in real life...in Idaho.

And I am not elaborating on the testosterone levels in my house involving a lawn mowing devise.

G'night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Shush. Not a word. You had your Cancer Card. I am allowed one too. Mine just happens to be someone, instead of something!

Big Girl 40th Birthday Sleep Over

I titled this post so blase' because when we, er...Big Shooter, was looking for party ideas out there in Google Land we could not seem to find what we were looking for.

Of course with this title I'll get the pervs who think they are coming to a porn site for partying fat chicks too... But hey, I'm an equal opportunity helper of others.

I think this post may be a big fat let down for some who have been dying to hear how it went with pictures as the evidence. But I didn't even take my camera out of it's case.

I am feeling the pain today about that little indiscretion too.

What was I thinking?!? Obviously, I wasn't. The only time I remembered it was when we were playing The Plunger game, but when I said the word camera...I was threatened with bodily harm. The scary part for me was - they were dead dog serious about ripping me from limb to limb if I even thought about it. So I didn't and now, of course, wish I would have lived life on the edge and snapped a few...

Here's the only one I took the whole weekend.

I'll take you through the games and guests and everything in the picture should be covered in one way or another...


It began with a name tag with 3 different lines. On the first was their christened name. On the second they wrote where they knew me from. (A couple used this to their full advantage since so few knew each other. One put rehab and another put AA.) The third line asked for a name of a childhood pet and either their momma's maiden name or a street from their childhood. (Ex: mine was PoPo Brown. Sashi's was Snowball 169.) These, as was later revealed, were their Adult Entertainer names... We had a tie. There was a dance-off and the author of yesterday's post the virtuous, the responsible Podcastin' Cyndi won the prize.

Then came a few games:
Guess Who consisted of me sticking a famous person's name on each woman's back. (Oprah, Cinderella, Mother Teresa, Jezebel, etc.) They could only ask yes/no questions to figure out who they were. The only snafu here was I totally thought Jezebel was like a hootchie, hot momma kinda girl and assigned her name to my friend who very much is a hot momma...only to find out Jezebel is no such girl. Hmmm, maybe I should read that bible, not just use it as a bookend. The game was fun none the less. Those girls were serious about finding out who they were. It turned out to be a fabulous ice breaker.

There was a Momma Purse Scavenger Hunt. The most bizarre item found in a momma's purse was a very nice Cuban cigar in a nice little metal case...hmmm. I am not sure if it's origin, intended purpose or even if it's alternative purposes was fully explained by the end of the evening either.


There was a wine glass passed around full of questions to be answered by both a guest and the birthday girl. That was interesting. That was enlightening. And that was embarrassing...er um, bonding. We learned nicknames of family members and, ahem, body parts. We laughed hysterically at some's stories and answers. We empathized for one who answered the last time she cried had been the day before when it was confirmed indeed she was not pregnant as she so wants to be. We cringed, we snorted, we guffawed and we grinned. It was fabulous girl bonding at it's finest.

As Podcastin' Cyndi pointed out there was a wide range of individuals there. Just the way I love it. There was indeed a pastor's wife, a biker chick, a urban socialite, a factory worker, a Kansas farm girl and a classical educator. But there was also a Martha Stewart type, an incredible artist, a liberal or two, a former news anchor, a doctor's wife, a gym coach, a child counselor and a former nurse. All walks of life. All my dearest friends. I missed so many others this weekend that all I keep thinkin' is..."We'll have to do this again. And soon."

Even though Sledge's pleather pants, spiked jewelry and rock star wig are in the picture he, very sadly, didn't make it to the party. He did, however, make it to the lake later in the weekend. And that's all I'm saying about that.

I liked this last photo because Girl Child's comment when she saw it was, "...it's like you're looking past your birthday Momma...into your future."

Oh the words of wisdom that escape a babe's precious lips...

I am indeed looking forward to my future.

Thank you friends.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: And thank you Big Guy. What fabulous, bonding memories I will cherish for a lifetime. I am so truly blessed with deep, rich friendships.

Love Note to Sledge: RRRrrrr....

We are back and pooped-out y'all

After a day or two of Catch Up, my first post should be "What I learned driving for 24 hours across 6 states with two Crumbs age 8 "and 3 quarters" & 10..."
In the mean time I figured I'd leave you with a few of my very first posts. (I find it hard to believe I started this most wonderful adventure called Laying Out Your Dirty Underwear For Everyone to See over a year ago!!)
Although, I will voice these few warnings (read excuses) before you click:

1. I was a new, fledgling blogger.
2. I hadn't found my voice yet.
3. I hadn't had my hand slapped in the bloggy etiquette department yet.

Olliver ~ Our Brain Dead Pug (There really isn't much else to add to that title.)

Home + School = Homeschool? (This is the one published in Blog Nosh. My Canadian bloggy friend Tracy is an editor. I have no idea how she found it...or why she picked it. But, I was thuh-rilled none the less! Thank you Tracy!!)

Big Shooter isn't half the man he used to be... (Oh My Word! I guess this is the upside of a diseased gallbladder, kidney cancer, gastroparisis,... And this isn't even a recent picture of him...look in my side bar for that Hunk-O-Munk!)

"Give me baaaack my puke...!!!" (Yeah, it was a proud moment when I pushed the Publish button for that one.)

I missed you all VERY much! It is just plain weird and VERY cool how friendships are built in cyberspace. I thought of you all the time. In fact, my little bloggy book is full of post ideas and facts I want to share with you all. But, for now I need a few days for laundry, unpacking, grocery shopping, homeschool planning, mail sorting, bill paying, toilet cleaning, and smooching with Big Shooter.

Oh, and an Amish dinner in Chouteau, OK (quite a little drive away) I planned for our homeschool group a month ago...

• for tonight.
• the day after I finished driving 17oo miles.
• in crappy, sleety, drizzily, 30 degree weather.
• we need to leave in a little bit...I'm still in my pjs
• What the &*$# was I thinkin'?

Along with my Mother of the Year award I feel I also deserve the Planner of the Year award, don'tcha think?

Love Note to my Big Shooter: When this evening has finally come to a close, I will say The Saying...but, only if you've read this post and know I just said that. Heh.

Love Note to Y'all: Reminder if your fam is taking part in The Bundle of Thanks project: They need to be sent by this Sunday if you want them to reach your servicemen by Christmas. I am anxious to hear your fave parts of your family's letters!

In between the trauma-drama, there was Lots O' Fun

We took a few friends to the lake this past weekend to belatedly celebrate Boy Child's Big 10.

First thing Friday night, a young guest slid down a rugged banister and got a splinter where the sun does not shine...

thankfully, he was able to remove it without any help.

Saturday, I handed out "Egg Boat" making supplies. Everyone received a small ziplock, a few paperclips, straws, tape, a plate and a piece of bubblegum to see who could construct the boat that would safely float an egg the longest.

The Launch.

Note to self: Next time use paper plates... not waterproof Styrofoam.

They floated and floated. And floated...

until we offered to award the first to be sunk.

They made a bee-line to the shoreline to gather rocks and "other ammunition".

Saucy's farm boy had his stash ready to rock and roll!

Chuck it Girl! Chuck it!

As soon as we finished Girl Child had this little splinter go through her big toe.Yes. I said, "Through."

There was lots of trauma, drama, screamin' and blood involved.


Next up. A Treasure Hunt of sorts. They had to follow clues that lead them from the mailbox in front to the dock at the bottom of the hill in the back. Several times. On purpose.





Then for kicks and grins we thought they should go on a little nature Scavenger Hunt.

And just like the day before, as soon as we were finished...more trauma, drama, screamin' and LOTS of blood.


Boy Child lost his footing on the dock and took a rather large chunk of flesh from his knee.

No physical pics for this one.

Those of you who know me well will understand what Big Shooter meant when he returned from getting the boys lunch, survey the bloody scene and said, "Wow, Sweetie. You're still conscious. I'm impressed."


Side Note from the Editor: I was not going to share this photo that just happened to keep floating into my viewfinder while I was trying to get Crumb Snatcher shots...until his last comment about being impressed. Here's the line that kept wafting up to my ears each time he passed as well, "If you experience redness and swelling for more than 4 hours...".

The remainder of the day seemed boring in comparison. We just skipped rocks, fished, cooked hot dogs and s'mores on the grill, went for a little nature walk, chased some deer and dodged waves. Bore-ing. When compared to blood, guts and drama-trauma.

Love Note to My Big Shooter: Honestly, I can't think of a thing to say after I published your pic and quote...

Boo's gift for Eula Mae

"Momma, can I run over and see Eula Mae?" is something I hear several times a day. Eula Mae, if you don't remember is our little, elderly widow neighbor whom Girl Child is BFFs with.

Yesterday was no different than any other day.

The two are a perfect fit.

Eula Mae loves gettin' gifts...

And Girl Child loves givin' gifts.

Big Shooter and I have had many conversations about this relationship.

The positives:

* Practicing the characteristics of being Gentle, Kind & Caring.

* Learning to be the care giver at such a young age.

* Bonding friendship with another generation.

* Empathy for other's situations.

* Putting other's needs first.

* Learning the meaning of Love.

Our worries:

* The anxiety Girl Child feels when Eula Mae is not feeling well.

* The possibility of Girl Child being there or finding her deceased.

* The inevitable ending of a death.

The positives sooo outweigh the concerns.

Bitty Boo has learned first hand what it's like to calmly handle an emergency situation that needs medical attention. She remains calm and collected.

She is a natural worrier so she is learning how to deal with Eula Mae's health in a mature way.

The fact that we worried about her being the one to find Eula has forced us to have many a conversation with Bitty Boo about death, the natural life progression, aging, healthy habits, and of course Heaven.

We needn't have worried.

We found out Eula Mae has already been preparing our girl in her own sweet way.

She talks to Girl Child about it all the time.

How she longs to be with Norman. With Jesus. With her family.

How she will be looking out for Girl Child from afar.

How when something wonderful happens to her and she feels all warm and fuzzy "why that'll be me reaching down and hugging you...".

How when life serves her sour grapes she'll have a personal talk with God on Bitty's behalf "and I'll be reaching down to hug you then too..."

Our Girl Child has learned more Life Lessons from Miss Eula Mae in the past year than I could have taught her in a lifetime.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: I know it's only Thursday, but you wanna teach me a Life Lesson...or two?

Mommas, what do YOU do with freedom?

Apparently, Soul Sister and I have lost the hip, young, livin' on the edginess we used to exude because we didn't quite know what to do with our bad selves last night. I like to consider myself a true Fly-by-the-seat-of -my-jeans-kinda girl. I can store the 3/4 cooked meal I've been slaving over in 30 seconds flat if offered a dinner out. I can dig to the bottom of my bottomless purse to scrounge enough $$ for an I-gotta-have-it-or-I'll-be-the-scourge-of-the-neighborhood-if-you-dream-of-sayin'-no-ice cream-treat from the scary, is he a pedophile or just a desperate for a job freak slowing down to 40 mph in the van that is well past it's glory days before he rounds the corner. And I can switch roles of momma, wife and diva at the drop of a stinky sock.

Now even though I like to fantasize about my abilities and skills. Sometimes, reality hits me up side the big melon. That point was driven home last night.

You see, the Shooter fam had some hair-pin turns kinda changes to their plans this weekend and I ended up havin' a good ole fashion slumber party with Soul Sister. For three nights. With the added bonus of NO CRUMBS or HUSBANDS on one of them. We began the evening all giddy and gussied up to enjoy our newly found and very unexpected freedom only to realize our gumption had already up and went...without us.

Our plans of bar room line dancin', heavy drinkin' (which should have concluded with permanent Tramp Stamps a.k.a. tattoos) and jello wrestling actually turned into a much recommended Chick Flick starring Ashton Kutcher (now there's fine specimen of a young buck for ya) called What happens in Vegas (Which, by the way, was suppose to be our title for the rip roarin' evening we had fantasized about. - What happens in Plainsville, Stays in Plainsville Livin' in a town named Plainsville probably should have been the first clue?) and ending in a Girly-Bonding Chat at Starbucks.

And guess what my biggest disappointment of the evening was?

That it had to end.

I love my girlfriends.

I love the fact we were once the fair maidens. Now we are the matrons giving advice to our fair maidens. And one day, we will be the old crones squawking advice to anything that moves.

I've gained more wrinkles, my memory seems to have flown away with the clouds and certain body parts have given into gravity (really given in to gravity) - but my girlfriends still remain the same.

Strong, true, loyal and supportive.

Thank you girls. I love you.

Note to Soul Sister: I'm still contemplating what design I want for my permanent body marking. But don't get your hopes up, I think by the time I make up my mind I won't need courage, I'll need my daily dose of Ensure spiked with Geritol.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: When I'm a bossy old crone, what will you be? My croney? And don't think I don't know you just thought, "What do you mean when?!"

Laminin

I have this certain girlfriend who listens.
Even when I don't know I am voicing anything but blather, she hears what's on my mind.
Last night at a baseball game she asked about the Big Shooter and I told her about the staple removal and the 3 inch gaping hole... sorry, let me get off the floor. And NO, to all who know me, I did not help him change anything, pack anything, wick anything, tape anything. I just stood on the other side of the bathroom door and supervised...then checked his handy work. Poor guy. Someone come save him. Please.
Anyway, in the conversation last night I (imagine this) was just talkin', sayin' comments like "What's holding it together?, God has made our bodies so amazing." and again, "EWWW, it's gross...I wonder what's holding it together?"

This was what she sent me late last night.

Hello Girlfriend,
Just to encourage you, I saw this tonight and it is laminin that is holding that belly together, so don't fear!! :)
Check it out, you have to watch the whole thing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e4zgJXPpI4

Let me just say, "Wow. Once again, she was listening and hit the nail on the head."

Before you click on the Youtube link please read, really read this verse:

Colossians 1:15-20 (NIV)

15He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. 17He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. 19For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, 20and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Thank you. Just, thank you. You know why.

Dear Friends,

The words "Thank you" and "blessing" do not even come close to covering what we feel for all of you.
How do you begin to say thank you for visiting us, praying for us, holding us, cooking for us, caring for us, babysitting for us, worrying over us, cleaning under our bed, bringing us several of anything we've asked for...etc., etc., and ETC.?!
The fact that you all take the extra time and effort involved makes our hearts swell with gratitude.
The fact you care about and want to show us your friendship makes our hearts swell with love for you.
The fact we have the greatest friends on the planet is overwhelming us at the moment!
So truly, all we can say is, "Thank you. You are more blessing than we deserve."
We love you Friend. Every one of you.

Update and Love Note for today are in post below.