Crumb Snatcher Speak & a Sashi Saying

• As we passed a hospital that specializes in brain trauma and mental issues, I said, "Mommy used to work at that mental hospital before you were born." Girl Child immediately corrected me with, "Didn't you mean to say lived there...not worked there?"

• While eating in a local yocal diner in small-town America (Pawhuska, OK) Girl Child observed just how busy it was during the lunch hour. "I mean, wow Mommy...people really do live in this town."

• "I am so not looking forward to my teenage years, " Boy Child solemnly announced yesterday. "Why? What's going to happen during your teenage years that will be so bad?" I asked. "You know, Mom. Braces and pimples...and braces and pimples are just life's way of saying it bites to be old. Like you Mom." Long pause. Then, "No offense Mom."

• I was trying to explain the concept of a wedding reception to Boy Child and his fellow 10 yo friend when Boy's light turned on and he proudly reported, "Oh yeah! I know what a wedding reception is Mommy! It's where I'll learn to spin on my back on the dance floor."

• My fave of the whole post was uttered so seriously and matter-of-factly by Saucy Sashi to one of her offspring in the van one day, I almost missed it..."If you don't stop chewing on your toenails, you won't get any ice cream."

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Wow! I realized as I was typing this post, either you haven't given me your typical blog fodder lately or I haven't been documenting them for posterity's sake (read blog's sake please). I am falling down on the job and haven't even had a good stiff drink to blame it on. I shall be Johnny-on-the-Spot from now on so watch what you say and do Buddy Boy!

You might be a redneck if...

y0ur keyb0ard has been missing the "0" for s0me time s0 you just make d0 with the klassy l00k 0f a zer0 in its place.

OR

bb guns are involved in Easter egg huntin'.

I, a proud city-slicker, do not partake in either of these activities. My other spouse Saucy Sashi, however, is a proud partaker of these things...

In fact, the Fourth of July at her house is synonymous with "fire power", not fireworks.


Any one else have klassy friends like mine that make life worth livin'?


Love Note to my Big Shooter: I know a sure-fire, fool-proof way to end the grumpy, dry spell...when's Sledge comin' for a visit?

My real surreal day in Poe Dunk

So apparently I wasn't too clear yesterday.

Let me clarify.

• Big Shooter really does sleep walk.
• However, he was not sleep walking when he invited us to Poe Dunk at 4:00am.
• There really was a car in a lobby of one of the stores his company owns.
• I had pictures of it because I was really there at like 8:00am.

Hope that helped someone.

It really just sounds even more surreal to me.

Speaking of which...

What do you do in Poe Dunk with two youngin's while waiting for Big Shooter to wrestle up a carpenter, supplies, and deal with policemen trying to solve the mystery. (To add to the confusion of yesterday's post: The car was found still running & unoccupied.) Can you imagine the allure and excitement all four officers were experiencing? They were positively giddy!

Anyways...the question was: What to do with two Crumbs who have had little sleep, a looong car ride, no breakfast and the excitement of destruction at 8:00am Saturday morning in Poe Dunk, Oklahoma?

Why you luck out and are able to attend the region's largest annual Folk Fest this side of the Mississippi that just happens to be opening up at 9:00am a few miles up the beautiful winding road!

I'd never been to a Folk Fest before. It's not that I don't like Folks. I love 'em. It's just not something I ever thought to say to Big Shooter before. "Love, I hear there's a giant Folk Fest going on somewhere in the South every weekend and by golly it sounds like some rip roarin' fun! Let's go."

My expectations were not raised however when the parking attendant said, "The pick-up spot for the shuttle is right over there..."

And this was the shuttle to take us up the hill.

It didn't get any better when I read the name of the next entertainers either.

(It says Skirtlifters if you can't read it.)

And I wasn't quite sure about the mental stability of the majority of people in attendance. Most of them were retirees and lots of them were pushing strollers for this reason.

But then we saw art pieces like this.
It was magnificent.
Carved by hand. The details were stunning. I should have stood a Crumb Snatcher next to it for comparison. It was over 5 feet tall and 3 feet wide.

Then there were people like this guy. He was making a broom. Others were spinning yarn, working a loom, sewing with a pedal powered sewing machine, making lye soap, giving hatchet throwing lessons (much to Boy Child's delight), giving fiddle lessons...on and on it went.
This tree sprang up out of the earth in 1646 and lived through WWII y'all. Just reading the facts and events it had lived through was worth the trip. Seeing the dawning on the Crumb Snatchers' faces as they began to realize the longevity and significance trees have on our society was worth the trip. I need to have them guest post on all the products we consume that have to do with wood. Unbelievable.Then there were the crafts. Oh, the fabulously talented craftsmen.
But did I get a picture of the incredible basket maker, the blown glass guy, or the intricate wood carver?
No. But, apparently in my sleep deprived state I felt this sign was of some significance because I took no less than 5 shots of it trying to get the saying and the light just right I guess.
I can't even read the whole thing it's so blurry.
But, maybe it will speak to someone out there in Bloggyland.

(I am positive what ever it says, it is gag-a-rama, and I don't really do gag-a-rama. Ask Saucy Sashi.)

They even had a petting zoo with Folksy animals to occupy two sleep deprived and kinda cranky Crumbs.

Right next to the petting zoo and the hatchet throwing was this Cherokee guy. He played his hand carved flute and spoke for at least 10 minutes to just Girl Child. She asked a bajillion ??'s and was enamoured by him.

(I have a video of him playing for her if I could just figure out how to post it!)

She wanted me to take a picture of her outside this period cabin. The pic did not turn out what we had hoped. The dirt used as mortar between the logs was truly Oklahoma red dirt. Not so much in the pic though.

(If you love my new fall purse in the background, leave a nice comment. If you agree with Saucy Sashi that it looks like her Granny's curtains or sofa or something she'd love, don't leave a comment.)

It was abundantly apparent to me Boy Child's attention span was OVER by this point.

It was his idea to take our pic, but he would not smile...

forgive what we look like.

We got up and ready (well, actually I never got undressed from the day before) and out of the house by 4:20 am.

(If you are wondering, that was a leaf that fell just as I pushed the shutter, not a weird growth on my neck...)

Love Note to my Big Shooter: I tell you what - you sure know how to show your fam a great time. We always love going with you on your little jaunts. If anything, they are always memorable.

Puh-leeze tell me ya remember!

The human brain is a remarkable living computer!
I love, love, LOVE to watch my kiddos' brains work.
Now Big Shooter would lovingly disagree about the fact the Boy Child's brain works on all cylinders - all the time. I do not chastise him when ever he says such things because I have the distinct feeling he is speaking from experience...not judgement.
Back to my little story.
I do not remember now what brought this little ditty to mind, but in the middle of a lesson I started singing, "Allllmond Joy has nuts...Peter Paul Mounds don't. Beeeeecause...sometimes you feel like a nut. And sometimes ya don't!" I glanced up to big eyed silent stares. And if you know anything about the Crumbs - they are not quiet.
After several seconds, I shrugged and asked, "Whuh? What's the problem?"
To which I was promptly answered with more shocked staring.
"Haven't you ever heard that song," I asked wondering when the last time I heard it was.
They both just slowly shook their little blond bobs at me.
"C'mon! You have to have heard it! I grew up hearing it!" Could I get any more lame in my attempts to convince myself I am not old?!! Good Grief!
All at once they both broke into giggles and asked where I'd heard it.
"Are you serious?! I grew up with that song playing on the TV. Every momma my age knows that song."
So they called Sashi.
After much warming up and encouraging she sang it to the absolute delight of the Crumb Snatchers.
Then they called Soul Sis.
She belted it out on their first request, no questions asked.
Then they experimented and called Daddy to see if the Dads my age might know it too.
He did. Again, no questions asked. They practically fell on the floor in a heap of giggly jello.

Side Note: It made me wonder just now typing those last few sentences.
Why is Sashi the only one of these three people who love my kiddos, concerned about what is going on in my house and wondering why my kids are calling out of the blue to ask to hear the nut song? Hmmm.

What a fun trip down Memory Lane for the Crumbs to travel with me...and Daddy and others. They asked to hear every song I could remember when I was a child around their ages.
I sang the "My bologna has a first name...it's M-a-y-e-r. My bologna has a second name...it's..."song. I hummed the Peanuts theme. I sang, "Conjunction ... function.. that's your... nuh-amme. Conjunction ... function ...what's your... guh-amme?" song too. I tried to make the Six Million Dollar Man sound effects...to no avail. I hummed the Dallas theme too.
I couldn't remember very many of them though.
I was hoping you could so we could sing, hum, pretend, whatever for them?
They loved this little game!!!
Leave me a comment and then have a FABULOUS weekend y'all!!

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Heeeey Big Shooter, whaaaat cha got cookin'? Hooooow's about coooookin' somethin' uuuup for meeeee???

Apparently I forgot to tell you I'd be gone.

I almost wish I had some exciting, dramatic or tragic news to share so I wouldn't feel so weird answering all the thoughtful, sweet inquiries about my lack of posting/well-being.
But nay, it's nothing even remotely in any of those categories. I was at a national conference with my other spouse - Saucy Sashi.
We were asked to speak on our grass roots efforts concerning marketing, which translates to "We are cheap."
We were also up against some major stiff competition for franchise of the year.
As it turned out, our speech went fabulous and was oh so timely with everyone's need to cut back spending aaand we didn't win Franchise of the Year.
We did however, win Best Marketing. That was cool. (I'd post a gratuitous pix of the pretty little crystal award if I had my camera. Tomorrow then...)
But the whole weird thing about it was it was held here, in Plainsville.
Sashi and I pawned our spawn off and stayed at the Doubletree with 70+ other JBF owners (from around the country). We are cheap y'all. Paying for a hotel room in our own city was way more than Weird. It was also Entertaining. Educational. Inspiring. And worth every penny.
'Remember this Hunk O'Munk?

He paid me a semi-surprise visit on one of the evenings we were out and about.
Oh yeah, he did. While we were eating delicious, chocolate dessert at the Melting Pot, delicious hot Black Leather Pants came a visitin'. Just to plant one on me Baby! (said in most gravely, sexy voice you can muster)
Rrrrrr. It was a delicious, hot, melting dessert all right...
After he stood me back up and dislodged his tongue, a good time was had by all. There were many there who know him personally, so when the shock factor wore off and they realized it was Mr. Conservative himself under the make up, hair and pleather...welll, let's just say they wanted to stroke his tatoos, rub the leather and have their picture made with him. He secretly ATE IT UP! (I am hoping to provide gratuitous pix of that outing too.)
Before you ask it or say it -Yeah, he really did. I think turning 40 and conquering kidney cancer does something to you. If he wanted to dress up like Pee Wee Herman and run down the street with sparklers I'd be right there cheering him on. Cause honestly, I am just thrilled he is still here with me.
So a Rock Star it is.
And between you and me Girlies, I know you all have your secret little fantasies. Whether he be
Mr. Police Officer.
Mr. Mailman.
Mr. Caveman.
Mr. Stripper.
Fabio or a Rock Star.
Mine just happens to have been Bad Boy Rocker. And now he lives with me.
And what a fantasy he has turned out to be.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Darlin' I, for one, am lovin' this whole Rock Star phase. I hope it lasts until you're like 90. It's fuuuun being your groupy...

Terrorist Defined

She doesn't look like much.
But trust me when I say, "The girl has been to camp in Afghanistan."
My sweet, sweet BDP has bites and shakes whenever she comes near...
All two pounds of her...

She might look sweet. Okay, really sweet.

She is.

But she is also a complete and utter Terror on the Loose in our house...until Friday when Saucy Sashi returns to retrieve her...

Tried to bribe a police officer

I have a story to tell you this week about last week.
I couldn't tell you any sooner because 1) Big Shooter was out of town last week. And 2) I couldn't keep my heart rate below 200 whenever I thought of it.

Here are the basic facts:

* The Crumb Snatchers were in bed asleep. Girl in her bed in the front of the house. Boy in mine in the back of the house.

* I was sitting in the living room, near the front windows, typing on the laptop.

* No question about it, someone tried to get in my front door. Plain as day. Not maybe.

* Some of you know this about me, some of you don't, some of you have been with me when the Mama Bear kicks in to overdrive.

* I took off at a dead run to the back of the house to git me one of them guns...

* Only to discover one was "missing" from my secret, need-it-for-safety-purposes-right now-spot and the other I remembered I'd loaned to my dad.

* Turns out, Big Shooter still had my Glock in his car from the lake weekend. (He informed me of this when I called him not so calmly asking of it's where abouts...)

* He strongly suggested I call 911.

* What a novel idea.

* I somewhat calmly informed the dispatcher I was here alone with two young children and I'd appreciate an officer here RIGHT NOW. Thank you.

* She asked if I had a weapon. I told her all I had was my hubby's old shotgun with no shells. (I was thinking, "Do I even know where that is?) She said, "That's okay. I'd still like you to get it out." Whuh?!!

* Uh...okay. That sent my blood pressure even higher.

* After I'd informed her I had the old rusty thing out she asked where I and the kiddos were in the house, reminded me to stay away from windows but to stay as centrally located as possible. I appreciated the reminder, but I had already turned on all the outside lights and off all the inside lights but one and was standing where I could easily see both doors with one small step.

* The officer arrived within 2 minutes, checked all around the outside, calmed my nerves a bit and promised to patrol through the night.

* I don't think I slept more than 50 minutes the rest of the night.

* The next day Taco Bandito (Saucy Sashi's hubby) hooked me up with a shotgun and shells for the remainder of Big Shooter's absence. Thank you Taco Bandito. I slept like a baby.

I learned many things from this experience.

1) The Brain Dead Pug was well, brain-dead when the chips were down. (He didn't bark until I lept off my chair and when running fora gun. Whata Watch Dog...I love that canine.) 2) Bad Guys can be scared away with an unloaded, rusty antique according to the dispatcher. 3) Under extreme stress I don't think past the basic "Over my dead body will you touch my cubs..." to call the police. 4) Taco Bandito has some serious home protection I am very envious of. 5) Officers cannot take even food gift cards as thank yous. That fact saddened me greatly the next day. I am so very grateful for/to this officer. We at least wanted to buy him dinner or lunch. The city looks at that like I am bribing or buying him...?

Um...Duh?

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Thank you for staying calm, rational, and the Ultimate Protector even from afar of your little grateful fam. We are thrilled you are home.

Fabulous Fall Farm Day at Sashi's

Well, the Gods in little white buckets in the sky must have felt sorry for us because when we returned home a little after 6:30 tonight our power was on. It hadn't been on for too long because the air purifier hadn't had long enough to rid the house of the Dirty Pug fragrance yet.

I love that dog.

I snapped a couple pics of the Crumbs while they were enjoying their day.

Boy Child received a new Lego creation from his buds over the Trauma/Drama Weekend and was dying to get it put together.

His sister, on the other hand, took it upon herself to play with/entertain Saucy Sashi's nephew. (Big Brother to the newest, most precious member of the fam.)

Since this little guy will head to the back door when he needs to use the restroom instead of the bathroom, we all had the same question for Girl Child when he showed up on the back porch like this. "Umm, Sweetie...where exactly did he find the mud?"

Is this not the epitome of a Farm Cat?

His name is Levi. He's 14. He weighs 12 lbs.

And he is by far my most fave thing about their place.

After school snack at Sashi's?

Why sherbet ice cream and sweet tea, what else?

No wonder Girl Child wants "more than anything my life" to be adopted by them...or their grandparents.

Tomorrow I may actually go out into the beautiful fall weather and snap some outside pics.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Every time I think of the debate tonight I hear the announcer for all the boxing matches who says, "Let'sssss get reeeeeady to ruuuuummmmbbblllle..."! Can't wait to see you in the wee hours Darlin'.

Our power is being Cut Off Today.

We came home from visiting the newest little most precious member of Saucy's fam yesterday to a note hanging from our door basically saying, "Sorry we missed you. But since you're here now, here's the good news. Your house is in the middle of all the hub bub going on in the neighborhood. You know, all those giant utility trucks making the streets rumble and all the dogs within miles going nutzoid all the live long day? Well, we want to converge on your backyard...again...to work on the lines that also converge in your backyard... Oh, and by the way, your electrical service will be down from sunup to sundown. Hope that won't be an inconvenience? If it is. Take it up with this reliable 1-800 number. Smile and have a nice day."

So to hurry and get the *&%$ outta Dodge and spend a glorious day on Saucy's farm I am posting a cheater today. A GREAT cheater. But a cheater none the less...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My precious friend Sheila had this great little bloggy quiz on her site a while back.
It couldn't be more perfect for the Shooter fam.
Other than, "Mommy can I go visit Eula Mae?" I hear, "Mommy, which would you rather be...a plain ole human? ...or a dog? (said with the utter most awe you can muster) And if you do, what kind? (said with complete wonder and awe)"
Well Girl Child do I have a quiz for you!

I took it and look what I am!

You are a Labrador Retriever!
Your family is what makes you tick, and you never "flea" from an opportunity to hang out with the whole gang. A family picnic complete with hot dogs, deviled eggs and a refreshing swim in the lake is hard for you to stray from. Your sparky temperament and dogged intelligence mean you are not only a blast to hang out with, but great to work with as well. Your close pals appreciate your patience and forgiveness, knowing you'd rather let sleeping dogs lie than dwell on the mishaps of the past. Your dashing good looks may one day lead to a modelling career, if only you can tame the unfortunate clumsiness that sometimes causes you to go flailing from the catwalk.

Hmmm....really? Sparky, not snarky? Dogged intelligence...no comment. I am great to work with. Did you read that Sashi? Pass that tidbit on to Taco Bandito would you please Darlin'? And my modeling career...I'm still patiently waiting for Lane Bryant's to send the call that gives me the Super Size Model nod. Now, the Unfortunate Clumsiness...I'm all over that one... I've seemingly passed it on to the Crumb Snatchers. As evidenced this past weekend.

I'd love to know what breed you are. Click on the lab and let me know!

Have a great day y'all.

I hope to be back tomorrow.

Apparently, that will be up to the Gods in the little white buckets...

Love Note to my Big Shooter: I am really starting to wonder how you manage to leave town at all the right moments? Seriously? Are you punishing me for somethin'? My dogged intelligence is working over time to figure out if you are. Snicker, snicker.

Runny nose, watery eyes, scratchy throat, nasal congestion...

Sound familiar to anyone else?

When I looked up the pollen count in my neck of the woods this is what I found.

That'd be me right smack dab in the red.

A few days back Saucy Sashi called and asked how the Shooter Fam's allergies were. Then she shared a little interesting tid bit she'd just learned about allergies.

I'm guessing many of you will already know this. (I've since found out many did.) But, Sashi and I are on Cloud Nine.

She has a sweet, old bee keeper in her church that noticed her youngest Boy Child's red watery eyes and gave her a pint of his Fall Honey. Then proceeded to explain the basics to her about local pollen, allergies, and bees.

Makes perfect sense. The little buzzers gather and use the pollen in season that makes us all sick to make their honey. When people consume a little of that season's honey every day they begin to build up an immune to the pollen.

We have since found out that many people know this. The problem arises when they try to find a yocal bee keeper who can provide them with the different seasons' honey. The pollen used to make it has to be local to the person with the allergies otherwise they are just consuming a plain ole yummy sweet treat everyday.

That's where cute ole church goin' bee keeper comes in to save the day.

He's got enough to add a few more customers.

Between Sashi, the Shooters, and a few others we've shared the news I believe we'll have him cleaned out soon.

We'll let ya know.

If it doesn't work...the consolatory prize is: The honey we purchased is The Best Honey on the Planet!

Love Note to my Big Shooter: When was the last time I said "Thank You Love" for always looking out for us?

I am all about my Biz-ness today.

Saucy Sashi and I are on the road from Butt-Crack of Dawn to well...lots of Moon Shine. How's that for a Momma Business description?

Klassy language (with a K) and booze.

Our mommas should be so proud!

Seriously though, we will be traveling from before the sun until well after the moon beams greet us. With a Full JBF Prep Day in the middle.

Please keep us in your prayers if you happen to think of us today.

Saucy says she's not a Crip any more, but I'm a firm believer one can't have too much prayer.

And I kinda, sorta have a night blindness thing going for me.

We're a pair to behold in action.

Which, btw, I will be rousing the senses with pix tomorrow. We always say, "We should take pix. Document our JBF Days." Well, we are.

It will be thrilling. It will be compelling. It will knock your socks off.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: If I haven't told you lately how much I appreciate your willingness to "take over the home front" while I am out gallivanting...I am. And you ROCK, Sweet Cheeks!

Brain Dead Momma

I have a serious case of Olympic Withdrawals...
I kept reminding myself all the live long day that "Yes. You must get on with real life now." I am/was addicted. I used them as an excuse to sleep in since I was up so late, blog until the wee hours, spend countless time "researching" little stories...
I, and the Crumb Snatchers, are feelin' the pain today. Both physically and mentally.

Now I am back in OASDA (Olympic Addicts and Sleep Deprivation Anonymous) and re-starting my 12 steps to Recovery. However, I am a tad on the Brain Dead side of life.

Therefore, when I received one of those silly "Get to know your girlfriends questionnaire" from my long lost Teacher Friend I was amused by how amused I was by it. In plain English: I am so dadgum Brain Dead I found a questionnaire fun. THAT my friends, is a sure sign of BDM. Brain Dead Momma.

And to further bore you, I am going to post it with my answers.

1. What is your occupation right now? Teacher, Small business owner, Nurse, Cook, Laundress, House Keeper and Sex Slave. (Okay, so I had you until the last one. Now you're not sure which are true and which are not.)
2. What color are your socks right now? Barefoot, but my toes are Slut Red. Does that count?
3. What are you listening to right now? Blissful silence. All four creatures (Crumbs, Big Shooter and Brain Dead Pug) are gonzers. Nigh-Night.
4. What was the last thing that you ate? Mexican Scramble (eggs, ham, cheese, cilantro, and salsa)
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Yes. Drove tractors, grain & potato trucks and my very first car.
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Saucy Sashi ~ I'm taking a JBF trip without her. She conveniently let her kids start school today and is making me go do an interview... on the air... by myself. Pray for Springfield please! Okay, so she hurt her back. Bad. Like, in a wheelchair BAD. Don't tell her I told you. Please. She's weird about stuff like that. AND, my Soul Sister (who just happens to have a degree in MEDIA is going with me. More like, I am going with her. Thank you God for best pals that always have the perfect quote and the best media personality on the planet. How cool is it that she's my Soul Sis?
7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes. And I miss seeing her. I've never personally met her last two kids. That's sad.
8. How old are you today? 39 years, 7 months, and 8 days (all I know is it's closer to 40 than 39 now...eww.)
10. What is your favorite drink? Ice cold 2% milk, then lemonade, then coolers, then Diet Vanilla Dr. Pepper from QT. I think in that order.
11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Every time someone reminds me by asking, "So is your hair, blond..ish...brown...ish...or are your roots really black...?"
12. Favorite food? Mexican
13. What is the last movie you watched? The Dark Knight - Holy Moley. Go. Right now. Go.
14. Favorite day of the year? Any day I don't have to cook or clean.
15. How do you vent anger? With the kids present - turning purple til my head pops off. Without the kids present - ranting...a lot...loud...ly...and sometimes, a teeny-tiny little cursing may slip in there. I may or may not make up foul words for Big Shooter's amusement.
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? My bike and I know he's not a toy, but my Grandpa.
17. What is your favorite season? Fall. No, Summer. Hmmm, maybe even Spring here in Oklahoma. Those three. Unless, I were still in Idaho. Then it'd be Winter.
18. Cherries or Blueberries? MMMMMMmmmm. Both.
19 - 21 Deleted...
22. Living arrangements? Currently married.
23. When was the last time you cried? Just now thinking about last night when The Flame went out...
24. What’s on the floor of your closet? Shoes, half packed suitcase from the last time I threatened to leave Big Shooter, my Weatherby (no, I forgot, my dad borrowed it), and Big Shooter's important belongings/crap.
25. Who is the friend you have had the longest? My dear, dear friend Sheila. Who, graduated from Stanford in three years, finished med school in like the top 2%, saves women and baby whales and has 3 kids. We have so much in common.
26. What did you do last night? Cried. Blogged. Cried. Blogged.
27. What inspires you? The Love of My Life. He is the strongest person I know. He is the most loving person I know. He is my life. (In case of emergency, reach for the air sick bag in seat back in front of you...)
28. What are you most afraid of? Losing a family member.
29. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? The more spicy the better to breath on you my Dear!
30. Favorite dog breed? New Foundlands, Great Pyrenees, Pugs, Chihuahuas (not in that order)
31. Favorite day of the week? Late Friday afternoon.
32. How many states have you lived in? Idaho, Nevada, Illinois, Oklahoma, Utah, Wyoming. Did I miss any mom?
33. What do you wish for most at this point in your life? Other than this to end, I most wish and pray for is good health for my Big Shooter.

Alrighty then, I am sure you are on the edge of your seat waiting to see what other mundane things I can tell you. But, people I am pooped.
Girl Child and I have an early morning. The get up Before the Butt-Crack of Dawn kind ahead of us.
So goodnight.
Tomorrow I am hoping to Big Shooter will agree/fall victim to my pleading, begging, cajoling and guest blog. Won't that be a ring-dinger?

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Darlin' they will love you. Love you. I am sure with a little encouragement from them and me, you'll see the light. Come on over to this side of the keyboard Big Guy. It's fair weather over here. You'll enjoy it, I promise. (heh. heh.)

We interrupt these Olympic commercials to announce Choc-O-late Winners!

Sashi had the honor of choosing the winner of the first box of Godiva. I'd like to say she used some scientific formula (she's a former math teacher) doo hickey, or calculated by the moon and stars. I can't. She called and said, "Hands down. Ah gets it. You know the one who doesn't see her husband except to coordinate schedules?" Knowing my Other Spouse she felt a connection, a kinship, with Ah. Sashi does an exorbitant amount of driving her three to places of practice, school, church, etc. I (also guessing with my limited knowledge of my Spouse) think she feels bad Ah's el husbando forgets her birthday. And the fact Ah suggested dating her hubby several times in the comment didn't hurt her I am sure! If you'll email me with a way to reach you...you're Godiva will be on it's way. Congrats Ah.

The second box was chosen by me (with help from the Crumbs) without anything ShmancyFancy. We wrote down all the commenter's names, put them in a hat, and let Big Shooter pick one out. It was Andrea from Sgt. and Mrs. Hub. Congrats Andrea. And Thanks a bazillion for sticking it out and reading the Saga a.k.a. Dara Torres everyone!

I will be posting a couple stories in the mid-morning.
Until then, Thanks y'all for participating in this here little give away! Just so you know, I am in the midst of gathering items for several future give aways. They are fun, fun.

See you in a bit.

Godiva Chocolate give-away...thanks to Saucy Sashi.

Here's the deal.
It was my Other Spouse's birthday.
Happy birthday Saucy Sashi.

I was going to go kidnap/wake her up at the butt-crack of dawn and take her to IHOP to have breakfast with a whole slue of her friends this Saturday.

She ruined that idea.

Cause apparently she needs to go celebrate her marriage to Taco Bandito Out-of-Town-by-Themselves.

Love Fest.

Gag-a-Ramma.

I only say that cause I'm so unbelievably jealous. The only time we've gone Out-of-Town-by-Ourselves-without-Crumb Snatchers, Big Shooter threw up the entire time. The. entire. time. It was a real Love Fest. A real Gag-a-Ramma too.
(Here's another famous time he said, "I think I'm gonna get sick.")

Anyway, after much fly by the seat of your pants, decision making we all threw together a quick Birthday Dinner out for her. I figured we'd go to some nicer restaurant down by the river. (Plainsville's version of San Antonio's Riverwalk) But when I called Taco to ask if he'd be available and willing to do solo kid care, I figured I'd better ask his opinion just to make sure...

Now, trying to pull one over on Sashi is like trying to give a cat a bath. So I finally just said, "BTW, Girl Child and I are coming to get you for dinner tomorrow. Taco said he'd be available for kiddos and he said Yocal-Local Mexican restaurant is your fave place. We'll be there at 6:30." She was a little caught off guard and didn't say anything more about it. Until the next morning...

When she called and casually asked if we could change locations because Taco wasn't thinking clearly when he told me Yocal-Local Mexican.... "Ummm, of course. It's your birthday. We'll go where ever you want." I was so proud. I held my self together long enough to make several phone calls that divvied up the list of people to be called since we'd be meeting in less then 8hrs.

During those few hours, she:

* informed me "to be flexible" b/c she'd spoke with Taco Bandito and "wasn't sure when or if he'd be home in time tonight. We may have to change plans." (We already did that unbeknownst to her. Thankyouverymuch.)

* decided to go shopping at Wally World for groceries 45 minutes before she needed to leave her house to meet me. 45 minutes. Wally World. 3 boys in tow. (Whuuuhh? Like your boys need to eat?! Did I mention she chose to shop at Wally World - 45 minutes before she had to leave. Just makin' sure.)

* on the way home from Wally World she called to suggest 7pm instead of 6:30. (????? I came up with the fastest lie I could. I blamed it on Big Shooter. I had to be home. Big Shooter. All his fault. She fell for it.)

When we had all arrived and got to laugh at the wrinkles, gray hair and heart palpitations she'd caused me, we landed on this fact.

Taco's been married to my Other Spouse for many, many years...and he didn't know where her fave restaurant with the girls would be. Now, to his credit, his excuse was I caught him off guard, in a crunch, unawares... so to speak.

Made me wonder. What would Big Shooter say? Did he know my fave restaurant? I mean yes, he knows the faves with the fam. The ones with him. But, what would he say if Sashi had called him for his opinion with the girls?

I asked.

He failed. Mostly.

He named several I love. A couple I don't. One I really don't. Then reminded himself it was with the girls. Let it swirl around in there a while longer...and then for his final answer threw out two I wouldn't dream of going to with the girls. If it were my choice.

I totally feel for ya Sashi. I get it girl.

21 years. Years.

Do me a favor y'all. Think up what you'd say for your lover-boy's faves and ask him what he'd say for yous.

Then, let me know.
I'm giving away some fancy chocolate to someone for their honest answer. Well, I'm giving it. I'm making Sashi choose who upon her return. I figure I'll spring that on her after Love Fest cause hopefully she'll still be all starry eyed and swooning and won't remember anything. On the other hand, I've never seen Sashi starry eyed and swooning over anything.
Anyway, you have til Sunday evening to leave a comment.
Mmmmm...choc-o-late...




Love Note to my Big Shooter: I highly doubt I'd do any better with yours. How can that be after all. these. live. long. years... and years and YEARS? Maybe we need to get to know each other a little better. Hubba, hubba.

We are Oinkers.

Not like the little piggy went to market kind of swine.

O.I.N.K.ers

as in

One Income No Kids.

We used to be dinks.

Double Income No Kids

Then we became bats.

Broke and Tired

And now, for a short time, we are oinkers.

This is how it happened.

We went on a walk and crossed this magic bridge.

On the other side we found a village of tree houses with a swinging bridge.

At the top of the hill we are greeted by this character.

He promptly abducts Boy Child and friend.

Further down the hill we catch sight of Girl Child's favorite wild creature.

She is terrified and clings to her Protector.

Who runs for help.

While the Protectors were looking for help elsewhere, the Nurturers were settling the wee ones into there new digs high in the trees. That's Saucy Sashi checking in on the Girl Digs.

That's Saucy's kid, the love of Girl Child's life, also checkin' on the Girl Digs.

Girl Child is giving the whole situation Serious Contemplation.

I think they might be overcome with apprehension.Boy Child is devastated to learn he will be living with said character for next few days.

And I think this is a sign for what's coming my way.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: I am sorry this took so long to type. You had to go off to bed by yourself - Broke And Tired.