Don’t even know where to start…

So I’ll just start typing and see what comes of it.

Ever stopped, cold turkey, something that border lined addiction? (Like, say… blogging?)
Did you go thru withdrawls? (Like the kind associated with blogging.)
What did you do? (You know for the finger curling? And mind-numbing, overabundance of time?)
How long did they last? (When I finally realized the familiar statement, “I’m gonna so blog about that,” didn’t have quite the punch/threat/reaction I so relished…I finally began to accept my self exile.)
I am not even sure what brought the whole thing on.
I just know it's pretty much run it's course now.

Regarding Big Shooter moving back in...y'all know our Deal right?
Anyone can walk away from the marriage at any moment...as long as they take the bad car and the Spawn.
Neither one was too overly appealing so he put on his big boy jock strap and dealt with it! He even told me "Thank you for loaning me my testicles for a few days to help me over the hump."

Just kidding people...about him moving in and out. Not about the testicle loaning.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Thank you for being supportive of me while I went thru this grumpy dry spell. Your patience are astounding...you should really have your head examined.

I broke a CHICK cardinal rule.

Once upon a time there was a Young Maiden and a Gallant Suitor.

They suited for 5 1/2 years.

Then they wedded.

Many blissful TINK years went by. (two income no kids)

Then one day the Young Maiden gave birth to the first Crumb Snatcher.

She was awakened from her pleasant dream world abruptly.

She noted her youth fading.

She noted her girth increasing.

And alas, she noted her memory lapsing.

This last fact was the most disheartening. For she wanted more than anything to remember all she had experienced with her Suitor...and of course, his spawn.

When ever fate would grant her an opportunity to celebrate with him, she grabbed it with both hands.

Their favorite celebrated day was the anniversary of their union.

They loved the season.

They loved the spirit that surrounds it.

They loved ditchin' the Crumbs.

One day, several weeks after their last celebration. The Maiden was pondering their union.

If one was spying on her thru the window pane, one would have seen first a look of puzzlement. Then astonishment. Then a full throttle belly laugh from deep within.

For when her Gallant Suitor came to see what she found humorous she asked, "How long, O Love of my Life, have we been blessed in this union?"

She laughed even more heartily when he replied with a flourish and exuberant flair, "Why 17 glorious years My Pet."

You see dear one, as she had lay earlier pondering her union, she realized they had celebrated their 17th Blessed Year...and they had only been bound for 16.

As she began to explain the fact to Suitor Man, he guffawed and snorted for he remembered they had celebrated their 16th the year before when in actuality it was the big 15 milestone instead!

The Suitor shook his head and with a dead serious face whispered these loving words, "Wuh-ow! Sure glad it wasn't me that screwed that one up!! Forgetting your own anniversary is like a huge cardinal sin isn't it?? Or at least a death wish..."

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Wow, times flies when you're havin' fun!!

October ~ The Squishy Month

Okay Girls...time for some serious business.

If you are near 40, have cancer in your fam or are just blessedly precautious October is the month for The Squish.

Here in the Shooter household we take this whole Awareness real serious.

Big Shooter's momma died of breast cancer when she was in her 40's.

His big sis is fighting breast cancer as I type this...she's winning.

My Grandmother has had a mastectomy on my Dad's side.

My aunt has had a mastectomy on my Mom's side.

I have several lumps "of interest" we keep a real close eye on.

Therefore, I have very regular Squish Appointments.

The first is the worst. You're not sure what to expect. You're nervous about the pain. But really, it's not bad...

And no one will be the wiser...

I jest. Really, it's not at all this bad. Please. Please make your appointment right now. Don't put it off for another moment. Take it from someone who's seen some cancer in her short life..."shoulda, woulda, coulda" is not an option.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: If I haven't told you lately Love, I am very, very proud to call you a Cancer Survivor. You are a real life hero. Thank you for your inspiration. I love you.

My home town Twin Falls, Idaho

My good friend Pat sent me some devastating flood pictures of her home town yesterday. Hobart, IN. It's bad up there y'all. It seems we need to keep every direction of this country in our prayers ~ directionally and metaphorically speaking.

Hobart, IN got me thinking of Twin Falls, Idaho. It's a beautiful little town I grew up in in Southern Idaho.

I googled some pictures to share with the Crumb Snatchers in the morning and then realized by sharing them with y'all, my bloggy friends, you might get some insight into me as well. Or not.We'll see.

"Remember when Evel Knievel attempted to jump the Snake River," is how Big Shooter and I explain where we are from to people our age or older. "Well, we both watched it." He watched from the canyon's edge with his Dad and the other bridge workers and I watched from the roof of my Grandpa Bozo & Granny Grunt's camper roof parked not too far from the canyon's rim. The dirt ramp is still there today over 30 years later.

This is the Perrine Bridge that stretches over the Snake River 500+ feet below. You can walk across it. I did once. I think that's why I am afraid of heights now. It shook, vibrated and you could see through it in places. Scary.

Now people BASE jump off it. To get a feel for how high and big it is, look very closely and you'll see the light posts that line the bridge. To this day, I hold my breath when I cross a bridge.
Remember when the barge hit the bridge here in Oklahoma and all the cars and trucks plunged into the river? That was the bridge we crossed each weekend to get to our camping ground. For two years I couldn't let Big Shooter drive that way. He had to drive an hour further to get us to our weekend camping spot because if I thought he was headed towards the bridge I would start to shake and tear up. I had frequent nightmares of driving my family off a bridge or watching helplessly as others did. I am a little better now. At least I can open my eyes when we cross a bridge. (The answer to your question before you even ask is: When I'm driving I force myself to breath and I have tunnel vision of the other side. I say, "Uh, huh. Wow," to the Crumbs when they exclaim about things they see over the sides.

There are falls like this one all along the canyon walls. This one happens to be by a main road that leads down into the canyon so it gets lots of photo ops.

Every kid from Twin has fond memories of the Western Days Parades. They are exactly what you think of when you picture small town parades. Flags, old cars, old farm equipment, beauty queens, rodeo queens, decorated bikes, clowns, politicians shaking hands and kissin' babies...

Patriotism at its purest.
No other reason than plain ole Love My Country So I'm Gonna Carry Her Flag in the Western Days Parade.

Love it.

Why the produce? Southern Idaho has some of the world's most fertile and best soil on the planet. It is a rich combination of clay, sand, and volcanic material. It can grow just about anything in it. It's the weather that dictates what can and cannot.
I loved this pic because my only claim to fame is not really even my own, but my paternal granddaddy's. He was the Idaho State Horticulturist for a number of years. (If that title is wrong, rest assured my Dad will provide the correction in the comments. wink. wink.) He had a particular interest/hobby of "inventing" different varieties and kinds of produce. He had several pattens on walnut trees, melons, flowers, etc. The last one expired a few years back. But, if you ever see a Santa Claus melon in the grocery store you can think of me. I named it. My grandfather developed/invented/produced what ever you want to call it a melon that is a cross between a cantaloupe and a honey dew. Kind of like Casaba melon. The catch is, he wanted it to be able to last into the late fall or even Christmas in a dark, dry store room so people could eat it around the holidays. Hence, the name Santa Claus melon. Only I really called it the Santy Claus melon.

This would be a view from the top of the canyon right next to the bridge. It is most likely early fall because the girl is dressed for warm weather and it is starting to turn brown. See how flat it is on the plateaus? It is a huge valley surrounded by mountains. Perfect farming area. That's why it's called the Magic Valley area.

Our other natural claim to fame is the Shoshone Falls.

It's called the Niagara of the West.
Higher than Niagara, not as wide.

So loud and thunderous, you can hear and feel it rumble and shake the earth from far away. (Y'all know FIL from the comments? That's Big Shooter's Daddy-O. He built all the overlooks along the canyon rim. He's pritty darn talented with a hunk metal. You know the book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie? Well, give FIL a hunk o'steel and he can build a empire...)

These pictures are taken in the spring because the people are dressed in warmer weather clothing and The Falls is at full capacity from the spring thaw up river.

I think every child should have memories of the City Park.
Every kid I knew growing up had at one time or other climbed up on this stage to perform his or her Concert of a Lifetime.
Each summer they still gather in the park for Band Nights.
Sigh.

One of the golf courses I learned to golf on with Big Shooter's momma and later worked at down in the canyon.

This could have been a picture of my best friend Sheila and her Daddy fly fishin'. I preferred to fish from the bank. (I have a water issue too...)

Big Shooter and I spent many a day and evenings doing just this while we were dating. If we still lived there, I am sure I'd have many pictures just like this one. Just with my own Crumbs and the Love of My Life instead of strangers...well, actually I probably know them...it's a pretty small town.

Where are you from? Where are you now? Will you ever move back? Do you want to move back? Just wonderin'.

Love Note to My Big Shooter: Sigh. So long ago. Do you ever want to move back? What an idyllic childhood we both lead and were so unaware of...sigh again.

Brain Dead Momma

I have a serious case of Olympic Withdrawals...
I kept reminding myself all the live long day that "Yes. You must get on with real life now." I am/was addicted. I used them as an excuse to sleep in since I was up so late, blog until the wee hours, spend countless time "researching" little stories...
I, and the Crumb Snatchers, are feelin' the pain today. Both physically and mentally.

Now I am back in OASDA (Olympic Addicts and Sleep Deprivation Anonymous) and re-starting my 12 steps to Recovery. However, I am a tad on the Brain Dead side of life.

Therefore, when I received one of those silly "Get to know your girlfriends questionnaire" from my long lost Teacher Friend I was amused by how amused I was by it. In plain English: I am so dadgum Brain Dead I found a questionnaire fun. THAT my friends, is a sure sign of BDM. Brain Dead Momma.

And to further bore you, I am going to post it with my answers.

1. What is your occupation right now? Teacher, Small business owner, Nurse, Cook, Laundress, House Keeper and Sex Slave. (Okay, so I had you until the last one. Now you're not sure which are true and which are not.)
2. What color are your socks right now? Barefoot, but my toes are Slut Red. Does that count?
3. What are you listening to right now? Blissful silence. All four creatures (Crumbs, Big Shooter and Brain Dead Pug) are gonzers. Nigh-Night.
4. What was the last thing that you ate? Mexican Scramble (eggs, ham, cheese, cilantro, and salsa)
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Yes. Drove tractors, grain & potato trucks and my very first car.
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Saucy Sashi ~ I'm taking a JBF trip without her. She conveniently let her kids start school today and is making me go do an interview... on the air... by myself. Pray for Springfield please! Okay, so she hurt her back. Bad. Like, in a wheelchair BAD. Don't tell her I told you. Please. She's weird about stuff like that. AND, my Soul Sister (who just happens to have a degree in MEDIA is going with me. More like, I am going with her. Thank you God for best pals that always have the perfect quote and the best media personality on the planet. How cool is it that she's my Soul Sis?
7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes. And I miss seeing her. I've never personally met her last two kids. That's sad.
8. How old are you today? 39 years, 7 months, and 8 days (all I know is it's closer to 40 than 39 now...eww.)
10. What is your favorite drink? Ice cold 2% milk, then lemonade, then coolers, then Diet Vanilla Dr. Pepper from QT. I think in that order.
11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Every time someone reminds me by asking, "So is your hair, blond..ish...brown...ish...or are your roots really black...?"
12. Favorite food? Mexican
13. What is the last movie you watched? The Dark Knight - Holy Moley. Go. Right now. Go.
14. Favorite day of the year? Any day I don't have to cook or clean.
15. How do you vent anger? With the kids present - turning purple til my head pops off. Without the kids present - ranting...a lot...loud...ly...and sometimes, a teeny-tiny little cursing may slip in there. I may or may not make up foul words for Big Shooter's amusement.
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? My bike and I know he's not a toy, but my Grandpa.
17. What is your favorite season? Fall. No, Summer. Hmmm, maybe even Spring here in Oklahoma. Those three. Unless, I were still in Idaho. Then it'd be Winter.
18. Cherries or Blueberries? MMMMMMmmmm. Both.
19 - 21 Deleted...
22. Living arrangements? Currently married.
23. When was the last time you cried? Just now thinking about last night when The Flame went out...
24. What’s on the floor of your closet? Shoes, half packed suitcase from the last time I threatened to leave Big Shooter, my Weatherby (no, I forgot, my dad borrowed it), and Big Shooter's important belongings/crap.
25. Who is the friend you have had the longest? My dear, dear friend Sheila. Who, graduated from Stanford in three years, finished med school in like the top 2%, saves women and baby whales and has 3 kids. We have so much in common.
26. What did you do last night? Cried. Blogged. Cried. Blogged.
27. What inspires you? The Love of My Life. He is the strongest person I know. He is the most loving person I know. He is my life. (In case of emergency, reach for the air sick bag in seat back in front of you...)
28. What are you most afraid of? Losing a family member.
29. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? The more spicy the better to breath on you my Dear!
30. Favorite dog breed? New Foundlands, Great Pyrenees, Pugs, Chihuahuas (not in that order)
31. Favorite day of the week? Late Friday afternoon.
32. How many states have you lived in? Idaho, Nevada, Illinois, Oklahoma, Utah, Wyoming. Did I miss any mom?
33. What do you wish for most at this point in your life? Other than this to end, I most wish and pray for is good health for my Big Shooter.

Alrighty then, I am sure you are on the edge of your seat waiting to see what other mundane things I can tell you. But, people I am pooped.
Girl Child and I have an early morning. The get up Before the Butt-Crack of Dawn kind ahead of us.
So goodnight.
Tomorrow I am hoping to Big Shooter will agree/fall victim to my pleading, begging, cajoling and guest blog. Won't that be a ring-dinger?

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Darlin' they will love you. Love you. I am sure with a little encouragement from them and me, you'll see the light. Come on over to this side of the keyboard Big Guy. It's fair weather over here. You'll enjoy it, I promise. (heh. heh.)

Be back shortly.

The Love of my Life is having a small surgery today.
* Nothing serious.
* We are hoping to get to the bottom of the nausea & upchucking business.
* I'll get back to y'all ASAP.
* Sorry we didn't share earlier. Since it's not a big deal, we weren't going to mention it...that was before I didn't have a thing for a post.

Now I do. Now you know.

And Big Shooter is not going to be a Happy Camper about it.

Shhhhh...

Love Note to my Big Shooter: ...(big breath)...(big sigh)...Does it ever get old being told over and over how you amaze me with your attitude? One more time Babycakes, you amaze me. Now, let's go get your gullet and guts checked out.

We are back home. BS is under strict begging/pleading (from me) to take it easy, rest, relax, veg for the rest of the day. He says he doesn't need to. He feels fine and needs to clean the AC coils, spray weeds and finish the engine cover for his boat...

All together now..."Ahhhhh"

In case you can't make it out, it says, "You are my heart. Love, Dad."

I know. I know! Sweet. Precious.

Every time she reads it, her smile goes all the way down to her "my Daddy loves me" being.

I know. I know! Sweet. Precious.

These are the reasons I will have to keep close to the top of my psyche now that she's going to want to keep the nasty thing forever!

Love Note to my Big Shooter: You know just the right thing to say...always. I can still be bowled over by the words you whisper, say, groan, sign or even shout. When they are said to either Crumb, I melt even faster and with not even a hint of gagging.

Frying pan is sounding good about now

I 've noticed in the past year or so a vast decline in my own and Big Shooter's memory capacity. One of us will be in the midst of telling the other some vital piece of information or hilarious story about our day when the one listening will say something like, "You've told me this before...like 3 times...". The one re-telling the account gets the same puzzled, incredulous look and always asks, "Really?" To which the punch line or important info is revealed to unbelieving and shocked ears.

Lately, I've realized the drugs/organ removal/cancer trauma/something has drastically affected what little capacity Big Shooter had left. He seems to be having difficulty remembering one conversation to the next. Let alone who the Crumbs and I are...

A recent conversation went like this.
Me: "Love, we'll be ready to go in just a few minutes..."
BS: "Go? Where?"
Me: "The pool... Remember, you called me and said you were coming home to have lunch and then go swim with us?"
BS: ?????? "Wow. Really?"
Me: Yes. (pause) You're gettin' really bad...what's up?
BS: Very matter of factly he shrugged and reminded/informed me, "I had cancer," like that made perfect sense.
Me: "Oh! Of course...that makes perfect sense. So...what do you think my excuse is?"
BS: Without a moment's hesitation and as matter-of-factly as could be he reminded/informed me, "You're insane."

It took him a few seconds for his brain to register, "Yes. I just said that out loud. And she heard me..." He just stood there with a deer in the headlight look.

The heavy, thick silence could have been cut with a knife. A butcher knife. Or an ax. Or a frying pan, for those of you who remember that little helpful piece of advice...

The good thing for him is - I guarantee he's already forgotten the whole conversation.

How about you all. How's your memory these days?


Love Note to my Big Shooter: Thanks for not forgetting all the little details of our courtship. It melts my heart whenever you recount a moment for me or the Crumbs...choke, sputter, GAG.

Blueberry Mornin'

Out of the blue...he's up one morning last week throwin' together blueberry pancakes for the Crumbs.

I'm not going to mention what the kitchen looked like after.

What matters is they loved 'em. And know he's a very thoughtful and fabulous father. Because they definitely did...and he certainly is.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: (just a really big, deep sigh)

In awe

I am in absolute awe of you.

You have endured unimaginable pain.

Unrelenting stress and tension.

Uncertainty. Doubt.

You've handled it all stride.

You've faced it all with that smile that melts my heart.

You've put your family first.

You've earned a golden set of wings.

You've just been you.

Plum Tuckers Him Out!

Healin' y'all. It takes some serious, tiresome work.

I am amazed at the human body.

It can have spare(ish) organs removed and not skip a beat.

It can endure unimaginable pain one minute and be at rest the next.

It can go with out sustenance for loooong periods of time.

It can be filled to the brim with nuclear fluids and flush them out without harm.

It can have vital organs removed and keep right on tickin'.

It is the ultimate testament to God's perfect handiwork.

Thank you God for Your hand in Big Shooter's life.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Thank you for spending time with your offspring today doing some serious bonding when obviously you were exhausted from your extensive research on Craig's List. You are a true Trooper! I love you.

Update on Big Shooter: It has been 23 days since the big guy had a major organ removed. Much to my chagrin, he has been released to drive on short errands. Much to his chagrin, a tragedy occurred on one of his first forays. He is eating and keeping it down. His remaining kidney is doing wonderfully. His bionic smell has not abated. More on that tomorrow. He's beginning to go a little stir-crazy. Good thing his Dad is coming next week. (F.I.L.)

Dear Mom,

Thank you is inadequate.
How do I make sure you understand the depth of my gratitude.
I was able to take care of my husband , while you left yours to take care of himself.
I did not worry about my children, because you were doing that for me.
I did not have to look for something clean to wear because every item in my house was laundered.
I did not have to remember little tummies were rumbling because they weren't, thanks to you.
I did not have to reach over a stack of dishes to turn on the water. In fact, I didn't recognize the sink as my own.
My children's faces were lit up with smiles and their bellies shook with laughter. Those were missing for far too long. Thank you.
Each time my stress or worry level reached a new high you listened, sympathized or offered gentle advice.
You endured Pug hair for us...lots of pug hair.
You put your very hectic and busy schedule on hold for me so I could care for the Love of My Life...and for that, I cannot find the right words to say how grateful I am.
Other than, Thank you Mom. I love you.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Okay, so we both know you've always been the very worst at being taken care of when you're not feeling well...so thank you for letting me take care of and baby you through this very serious process. (I'm sure the heavy narcotic sedation helps. But thanks just the same!)

Trunk Monkey

Since I am getting ready for next Wednesday's Big Surgery my blogging time has been immensely cut into. Sheesh! The things Big Shooter does to drag my attention away from Blog Land! I mean "It's cancer Dude. Get over it already." Of course all who know me heard me say that in a very sarcastic yet painful voice. Those of you who don't know me yet...it's okay, you can let some of the breath you just sucked out the room back out. I'm just kiddin' around. It's how we cope. It's healthy therapy called Very Inappropriate Humor.

Any way, my time's been rudely encroached upon so I have to come up with quick posts so I can at least sleep a few hours a night. The easiest posts? Stinkin' Hilarious Videos! In fact I think I need to dedicate one day a week to Stinkin' Hilarious Videos or Just Veg Out Videos. I need to see if my Girl Friday over at Splat Designs can make me a button for that. Speaking of her, if you haven't been over to her site to sign-up to win 3 Free Headers click on the Splat Design button below to go check her out before you watch this video. Because ya'll, once you watch this Stinkin' Hilarious video you will forget about headers, buttons and freebies. You'll be sending this link to everyone you know. Trust me. The Crumbs and I already did that after we snorted, spit milk, chortled and belly laughed!

Hurry over there! There's only 3 more days!

Sorry, Youtube is messing with me tonight. I have to post the video seperately below.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Good days. Bad days. I hate the bad days. cancersucks.com

Update on Big Shooter

So Sorry! Apparently I riled ya'll up and then left ya hangin'?
Here's the latest scoop on the big guy:
He does not have a leak where his gallbladder was.
So no extra surgery.
Since he has no gallbladder to store the bile his liver is making, it gets dumped in his stomach.
Since he already has Boo-Boo Belly (ulcers, hernia, reflux) his stomach is revolting in a major way.
We are finding out quickly what foods he canNOT have.
He is finally beginning to keep down simple, bland solids.
He is on a new med that helps keep his Boo-Boo Belly at bay so it can learn how to work again.
His kidney surgery is a little over two weeks from today. (April 30th) Our goal is to get him as strong as possible before then.
I promise not to leave you haingin' again...
Am I forgiven?

One of my good non-blog-readin' friends sarcastically asked if I was "going to live blog Big Shooter's surgery blow-by-blow"...hmmm, no but I may live blog his progress through the whole ordeal b/c it will give me something to keep my mind off the procedure and yet still be focused on him. Does that make sense or am I just pushing the limits of no-sleep? Besides the phone reception in the hospital is pretty much non-existent and all the fam and friends faraway will have to do is click on here...hmmm, we'll see.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Thank you for filling this marriage with happiness...pranks...and belly shakin', snortin' laughs.

Dear Friends,

My sweet big guy needs some lovin' on. He has not done well since his gallbladder was removed liked we had so hoped! The plan was no gallbladder = no more pain + eating = renewed strength. Wrong.
He has not been able to keep anything solid down now for almost two months and he is weak...weak. And I don't just mean his body. His mind is weak too. And so is his spirit.
After another kajillion tests we have been informed they have found a pool of bile where his gallbladder used to be. They do not know if it is a continuous leak or a postoperative one that corrected itself. So...another test tomorrow.
Then more than likely - another surgery to repair/fix the first one before the big kidney one!
He's glad to know there really is something wrong with him. Yet feeling defeated because he just can't seem to catch a break these days!
I ask your prayers to be for wisdom and guidance for his team of doctors. The renewing of Big Shooter's faith. And for his body to hang in there a while longer.
We love you all and am more grateful than you will ever know that you are all there behind us!
Warmly,
Straight Shooter
Love Note to my Big Shooter: No matter what you feel like or what you've just endured...you put a smile on those beautiful lips and a carefree attitude in your voice when the Crumbs are nearby. I love the protective Daddy in you. Thanks Big Guy!

Went Cup shopping...

not the kind you drink out of. Well, I wouldn't anyway.

Here's how it went down.
#1: Mom, I need a cup.
Momma: Get one out of the cupboard.
#1: Not that kind of cup.
Momma: (confused) What other kind of cup is there?
#1: Pantomiming a bat or ball, who knows which, flying towards his crotch area. Hitting the said area. In s l o w m o t i o n he grabs said area with dire expression (how does he know the face when this male phenomenon hasn't even happened to him yet), collapses to the floor.
Momma: Oh. You mean a cup...cup.
#1: From a heap on the floor (and still clutching the said area like someone is going to reach down and steal 'em.) Yep. That kind. Can you go buy me one?
Momma: Uh, that'd be a nope. Sorry pal, that's a dad deal.

Transition: Boy child calls his father and has the same exact conversation with his father...including the dramatic fall and clutching business. Apparently, his father agreed to go shopping with him after practice tonight.
Side Note: Boy child only has one, ahem... jewel to protect. Another story. Another time.

Momma is fixing dinner and phone rings.
Momma: Hi Darlin'.
Big Shooter: Hi. We're on our way to Academy and I was wondering...do they make cups for one ballers?
Momma: Sucks all air out of kitchen. Drops phone. Then laughs hysterically at the new nick name just bestowed on #1! "ummm...let's see let me pull that kind of information out of my How the *&^%&* would I know file!"
Big Shooter: chuckle, chuckle. Just kiddin' ya. We'll be fine.

15 minutes later...
Momma: Hi Darlin'.
Big Shooter: Hi. What size do I get?
Momma: ??????? (Is he serious?)
Big Shooter: There is a 10-12 or 14-16...
Momma: (again...) ??????
Big Shooter: I'll just go with the bigger one.
Momma: Thinking - Well, of course he would go with the bigger size...he's male speaking of the nether region. Said - What ever you two think will fit/work best Sweetie I am sure will be fine.
Hang up, go back to dinner fixin'.

5 seconds later...
Big Shooter: Yes?
Momma: What if it's too big and doesn't protect the one little guy?
Big Shooter: ????? (Is she serious? Little guy...?)
Momma: Or what if it's loose and rubs him raw?
Big Shooter: silence...he must have been contemplating raw and nether regions together...
Momma: Or what if it's too tight and something happens to little guy? ...and he can't have babies...?
Big Shooter: ?????
Momma: I'm sure you'll get what's best...right?
Big Shooter: ...uh, huh. (Honestly, he didn't sound too convincing.)

15 minutes later...
Momma: Hi Darlin'.
Big Shooter: We got a cup, a new bat bag...and we are on our way home.
Momma: (Sigh) Oh, good. See you in a bit.
Hang up and ponder where life has now lead...

11 years ago - didn't want Crumb Snatchers.
9 years ago - didn't blanch or see anything wrong with scooping small crumb snatcher up in mid-stride, lifting his bum up parallel to my nose to see if the smell was him or the mall food we just passed...
1 hour ago - worrying about my son's little guy staying safe to make future Crumb Snatchers...

Where does time go? What will be next?!
Don't answer that!
...that is what is referred to as rhetorical question...

Love Note to My Big Shooter: You fulfilled another Dad Duty today. I love the kind of dad you are.

Not a Special Note to my readers...but, a note to my Special Readers

I am having a remarkably nostalgic evening I guess. I have a heart full of love for those of you very few faithful readers of my silly thoughts and appreciators of my whacked out way of seeing the world.

Why?

• Because your published comments crack me up, make me sigh, cause me to see things differently and just generally make my insides happy.


• Because your unpublished (sent via email) comments also make me sigh, snort with laughter, raise an eyebrow (which is hard to do), and make my insides happy.


• Because you care about, agree with, argue with, make fun of, giggle at and love the same things I do...

One of the most commented on posts was the 365 Reasons I Love Big Shooter. I received lots of personal email on that one as well as published comments. I was thinking on this fact a few minutes ago, that's probably why I am feeling the love for you all tonight. You all shocked me with your comments and thoughts about it being the sweetest, most thoughtful, "wow, isn't he a lucky man", gag, gag lovey-dovey idea. When in all honesty, I am just a List Girl and thought it would be nice to list the reasons I can't take a breath without him. Sorry to burst your bubbles. I wasn't trying to be romantic...ish. Just wanted him to know the facts...ma'am. But thanks for thinkin' I had that kinda bone in my body none the less!

So here's another fact: I love Big Shooter because he really digs old 80's slap-stick comedy movies and the really dorky ones like Uncle Buck, Spaceballs and Caddy Shack. He loves to watch them again and again. It's just weird and I love it. It could be worse. Instead of John Candy, it could always be Candy Does Hollywood or Candy Land...

Happy Birthday to YOU...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR GEEEE-ZZZZER,
HAPPY

BIRTHDAY

TO

YOU...

AND MANY MORE...ON CHANNEL 4...AND SCOOBY DOO ON CHANNEL 2.... (the "many more" is from me, the channel business is from your offspring...)

Happy Birthday Big Shooter. I love you.

ALMOST Wordless Wednesday

One year ago

Love is in the air...

Since the Big Shooter will be leaving town early this a.m. we celebrated the Love Day yesterday. The Crumb Snatchers and I wrote silly songs and a poem. We gaily wrapped frosted sugar cookies with personal sweet messages written on them. Translation: We stopped at Merritt's Bakery. Then we delivered them with balloons to his office where we serenaded him with our silly songs and poem. He loved it. Translation: While smiling he kept glancing into the hallway for the "Keep the workplace stale and dull Police". They didn't come. But, a few members of his work harem gathered to listen and ooo & ahhh so he could puff his chest out a little.

After we'd finished a nice, semi-quiet dinner Big Shooter said, "The Boy and I have a quick errand to run..." which you and I both know what that means. I do not want to get caught tomorrow with my pants down! Translation: I need to go buy sappy gifts to appease the Love Gods so my wife doesn't feel slighted and change the locks while I am away. As he was about to close the door on the way out of the house I sarcastically (are you shocked at my audacity) called out, "Flowers, chocolate and money...in that order." And then chuckled at myself.

After 20+ years of being together for Love Day, I should have known.

Be still my heart.

Who doesn't need the GIANT 3 pound bag?

(That measurement would be me getting prepared for a smart comment about 10 inches of pure milk chocolate...but, the Crumb Snatchers will probably read this post one day and I don't want to put images in their brains...)

Yes, he really did. And, he did it

in

that

order

too.

Translation: He's a much bigger smart****!