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Hey ya'all
It is I, big shooter. Yup the one and only, the man of your dreams, Master of my universe and best friend to myself.
I was trying to leave a comment on one of her posts and as luck would have it she caught me and is forcing me to do a whole freakin post myself. And she said if you don't title it "Things I love about Straight Shooter" she would cut out my last kidney and feed it to BDP.
So here goes
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT STRAIGHT SHOOTER
1. She is the kindest, sweetest, gentlest serial killer I know.
2. She is creative and funny. You should see some of the crap she comes up with.
3. She is an awesome mom to the kids that claim they are mine.
4. She is the Queen of bloggy freekdom and you are her serfs.
5. She has awesome taste in men, which makes me wonder why she married me.
6. She is cute as a June Bug. That is a compliment in okiehoma.
7. She can cook up a storm, and I can show you the pictures to prove it. We may never get the sauce off the ceiling.
8. She lets me win at card games. At least that is what she tells herself.
9. She is the best housekeeper in the world. Yeah i am lying on that one.
10. She is the light of my life, and i can't imagine my world without her.
Well there you have it bloggy freaks. My heartfelt and romantic reasons why I love S.S. I know it brings tears to your eyes. Hey what can I say, I am just a big teddy bear wrapped up as a Rock God.
Showing posts with label Guest Blogger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Guest Blogger. Show all posts
February 24, 2009
December 8, 2008
Party is Over!!
Straight shooter and the Crumb Snatchers are on their across Colorado and Kansas. Crumbs keep getting the truckers to honk. My personal opinion is that horns are for emergency purposes only, so don't get me started.
So to all the blogging minions out in blog land, SS will be back online soon, and my days of freedom and nakedness are at a sad end. Let us observe a moment of silence at the passing.
So to all the blogging minions out in blog land, SS will be back online soon, and my days of freedom and nakedness are at a sad end. Let us observe a moment of silence at the passing.
December 5, 2008
How to alienate your hometown
Straight Shooter is stuck in Idaho so I am forced to be a guest blogger. Yes fans it is I, big shooter. In order to maintain peace in the household and to not have to shell out my life savings in alimony, I am communicating with y'all.
I have been ordered to be funny and pithy, but that is not going to happen. So I will do as I am told and post exactly what I was told to.
When you visit Idaho and are a sick and twisted individual, you look for something to irritate as many people in your home town as possible. So to that effect you come up with the perfect plan for world domination, and while you are waiting to take over everything that humans hold dear, you focus on how to destroy the hopes and dreams of every Idahoan, which is actually only a very few people in the scheme of worldwide population. And you involve the innocent offspring!
It is our God given right to make sure that they have income potential when they are older. And I feel that a tell all book exposing their parents as evil, maniacal lunatics is our best bet at helping them pay for our nursing home. I hope they don't stick us in a total hole.
2 years ago the University of Oklahoma (football powerhouse) played Boise State (total underdog) for the national championship. If you remember BSU won in the most exciting Bowl game ever in the history of mankind. OK maybe that was a stretch. But is was a great game.
Seeing as Straight Shooter and I are from Idaho and the crumb snatchers are born and conceived in Oklahoma, which as a side note I do not remember, we thought what better way to teach our children respect and moral values than to make sure they were never welcomed back to our childhood haven.
There is a big rock in front of our hometown high school. It is a tradition to paint that rock for special school events and other bizarre stuff. Idahoans really have no life, so we do stupid stuff for entertainment. Well the wife and kids thought up a diabolical plan to paint the rock -Oklahoma style. And "Boomer Sooners" was the way to go baby. Look at the pics and ooooh and awe. Leave lots of comments telling Straight Shooter that I am the best guest blogger ever.
Please just step away from the computer. Blogging is the devil. At least in my humble opinion.
I have been ordered to be funny and pithy, but that is not going to happen. So I will do as I am told and post exactly what I was told to.
When you visit Idaho and are a sick and twisted individual, you look for something to irritate as many people in your home town as possible. So to that effect you come up with the perfect plan for world domination, and while you are waiting to take over everything that humans hold dear, you focus on how to destroy the hopes and dreams of every Idahoan, which is actually only a very few people in the scheme of worldwide population. And you involve the innocent offspring!
It is our God given right to make sure that they have income potential when they are older. And I feel that a tell all book exposing their parents as evil, maniacal lunatics is our best bet at helping them pay for our nursing home. I hope they don't stick us in a total hole.
2 years ago the University of Oklahoma (football powerhouse) played Boise State (total underdog) for the national championship. If you remember BSU won in the most exciting Bowl game ever in the history of mankind. OK maybe that was a stretch. But is was a great game.
Seeing as Straight Shooter and I are from Idaho and the crumb snatchers are born and conceived in Oklahoma, which as a side note I do not remember, we thought what better way to teach our children respect and moral values than to make sure they were never welcomed back to our childhood haven.
There is a big rock in front of our hometown high school. It is a tradition to paint that rock for special school events and other bizarre stuff. Idahoans really have no life, so we do stupid stuff for entertainment. Well the wife and kids thought up a diabolical plan to paint the rock -Oklahoma style. And "Boomer Sooners" was the way to go baby. Look at the pics and ooooh and awe. Leave lots of comments telling Straight Shooter that I am the best guest blogger ever.
Please just step away from the computer. Blogging is the devil. At least in my humble opinion.
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