Puh-leeze tell me ya remember!

The human brain is a remarkable living computer!
I love, love, LOVE to watch my kiddos' brains work.
Now Big Shooter would lovingly disagree about the fact the Boy Child's brain works on all cylinders - all the time. I do not chastise him when ever he says such things because I have the distinct feeling he is speaking from experience...not judgement.
Back to my little story.
I do not remember now what brought this little ditty to mind, but in the middle of a lesson I started singing, "Allllmond Joy has nuts...Peter Paul Mounds don't. Beeeeecause...sometimes you feel like a nut. And sometimes ya don't!" I glanced up to big eyed silent stares. And if you know anything about the Crumbs - they are not quiet.
After several seconds, I shrugged and asked, "Whuh? What's the problem?"
To which I was promptly answered with more shocked staring.
"Haven't you ever heard that song," I asked wondering when the last time I heard it was.
They both just slowly shook their little blond bobs at me.
"C'mon! You have to have heard it! I grew up hearing it!" Could I get any more lame in my attempts to convince myself I am not old?!! Good Grief!
All at once they both broke into giggles and asked where I'd heard it.
"Are you serious?! I grew up with that song playing on the TV. Every momma my age knows that song."
So they called Sashi.
After much warming up and encouraging she sang it to the absolute delight of the Crumb Snatchers.
Then they called Soul Sis.
She belted it out on their first request, no questions asked.
Then they experimented and called Daddy to see if the Dads my age might know it too.
He did. Again, no questions asked. They practically fell on the floor in a heap of giggly jello.

Side Note: It made me wonder just now typing those last few sentences.
Why is Sashi the only one of these three people who love my kiddos, concerned about what is going on in my house and wondering why my kids are calling out of the blue to ask to hear the nut song? Hmmm.

What a fun trip down Memory Lane for the Crumbs to travel with me...and Daddy and others. They asked to hear every song I could remember when I was a child around their ages.
I sang the "My bologna has a first name...it's M-a-y-e-r. My bologna has a second name...it's..."song. I hummed the Peanuts theme. I sang, "Conjunction ... function.. that's your... nuh-amme. Conjunction ... function ...what's your... guh-amme?" song too. I tried to make the Six Million Dollar Man sound effects...to no avail. I hummed the Dallas theme too.
I couldn't remember very many of them though.
I was hoping you could so we could sing, hum, pretend, whatever for them?
They loved this little game!!!
Leave me a comment and then have a FABULOUS weekend y'all!!

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Heeeey Big Shooter, whaaaat cha got cookin'? Hooooow's about coooookin' somethin' uuuup for meeeee???

Brain Dead Momma

I have a serious case of Olympic Withdrawals...
I kept reminding myself all the live long day that "Yes. You must get on with real life now." I am/was addicted. I used them as an excuse to sleep in since I was up so late, blog until the wee hours, spend countless time "researching" little stories...
I, and the Crumb Snatchers, are feelin' the pain today. Both physically and mentally.

Now I am back in OASDA (Olympic Addicts and Sleep Deprivation Anonymous) and re-starting my 12 steps to Recovery. However, I am a tad on the Brain Dead side of life.

Therefore, when I received one of those silly "Get to know your girlfriends questionnaire" from my long lost Teacher Friend I was amused by how amused I was by it. In plain English: I am so dadgum Brain Dead I found a questionnaire fun. THAT my friends, is a sure sign of BDM. Brain Dead Momma.

And to further bore you, I am going to post it with my answers.

1. What is your occupation right now? Teacher, Small business owner, Nurse, Cook, Laundress, House Keeper and Sex Slave. (Okay, so I had you until the last one. Now you're not sure which are true and which are not.)
2. What color are your socks right now? Barefoot, but my toes are Slut Red. Does that count?
3. What are you listening to right now? Blissful silence. All four creatures (Crumbs, Big Shooter and Brain Dead Pug) are gonzers. Nigh-Night.
4. What was the last thing that you ate? Mexican Scramble (eggs, ham, cheese, cilantro, and salsa)
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Yes. Drove tractors, grain & potato trucks and my very first car.
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Saucy Sashi ~ I'm taking a JBF trip without her. She conveniently let her kids start school today and is making me go do an interview... on the air... by myself. Pray for Springfield please! Okay, so she hurt her back. Bad. Like, in a wheelchair BAD. Don't tell her I told you. Please. She's weird about stuff like that. AND, my Soul Sister (who just happens to have a degree in MEDIA is going with me. More like, I am going with her. Thank you God for best pals that always have the perfect quote and the best media personality on the planet. How cool is it that she's my Soul Sis?
7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes. And I miss seeing her. I've never personally met her last two kids. That's sad.
8. How old are you today? 39 years, 7 months, and 8 days (all I know is it's closer to 40 than 39 now...eww.)
10. What is your favorite drink? Ice cold 2% milk, then lemonade, then coolers, then Diet Vanilla Dr. Pepper from QT. I think in that order.
11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Every time someone reminds me by asking, "So is your hair, blond..ish...brown...ish...or are your roots really black...?"
12. Favorite food? Mexican
13. What is the last movie you watched? The Dark Knight - Holy Moley. Go. Right now. Go.
14. Favorite day of the year? Any day I don't have to cook or clean.
15. How do you vent anger? With the kids present - turning purple til my head pops off. Without the kids present - ranting...a lot...loud...ly...and sometimes, a teeny-tiny little cursing may slip in there. I may or may not make up foul words for Big Shooter's amusement.
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? My bike and I know he's not a toy, but my Grandpa.
17. What is your favorite season? Fall. No, Summer. Hmmm, maybe even Spring here in Oklahoma. Those three. Unless, I were still in Idaho. Then it'd be Winter.
18. Cherries or Blueberries? MMMMMMmmmm. Both.
19 - 21 Deleted...
22. Living arrangements? Currently married.
23. When was the last time you cried? Just now thinking about last night when The Flame went out...
24. What’s on the floor of your closet? Shoes, half packed suitcase from the last time I threatened to leave Big Shooter, my Weatherby (no, I forgot, my dad borrowed it), and Big Shooter's important belongings/crap.
25. Who is the friend you have had the longest? My dear, dear friend Sheila. Who, graduated from Stanford in three years, finished med school in like the top 2%, saves women and baby whales and has 3 kids. We have so much in common.
26. What did you do last night? Cried. Blogged. Cried. Blogged.
27. What inspires you? The Love of My Life. He is the strongest person I know. He is the most loving person I know. He is my life. (In case of emergency, reach for the air sick bag in seat back in front of you...)
28. What are you most afraid of? Losing a family member.
29. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? The more spicy the better to breath on you my Dear!
30. Favorite dog breed? New Foundlands, Great Pyrenees, Pugs, Chihuahuas (not in that order)
31. Favorite day of the week? Late Friday afternoon.
32. How many states have you lived in? Idaho, Nevada, Illinois, Oklahoma, Utah, Wyoming. Did I miss any mom?
33. What do you wish for most at this point in your life? Other than this to end, I most wish and pray for is good health for my Big Shooter.

Alrighty then, I am sure you are on the edge of your seat waiting to see what other mundane things I can tell you. But, people I am pooped.
Girl Child and I have an early morning. The get up Before the Butt-Crack of Dawn kind ahead of us.
So goodnight.
Tomorrow I am hoping to Big Shooter will agree/fall victim to my pleading, begging, cajoling and guest blog. Won't that be a ring-dinger?

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Darlin' they will love you. Love you. I am sure with a little encouragement from them and me, you'll see the light. Come on over to this side of the keyboard Big Guy. It's fair weather over here. You'll enjoy it, I promise. (heh. heh.)

Epiphanies, head gear and lubricant...

When was the last time you had an epiphany? An honest to goodness epiphany about something...or someone?

I had one recently about my Soul Sister.

And it was a doozy.
For me.

The epiphany came recently when I stayed with her at her parents house.

They have what is referred to as the Stuff Wall.

The Stuff Wall is a random collection of items her family has gathered over the years.

Let me show you a few items of interest on the wall.

In case you can't tell what type of hat this is, let me clarify it for you.

It is a solar operated fan hat for those hot southern summer days.

This turtle shell is from the turtle her mom decided on a whim to make into an entree of Turtle Soup. She found the recipe in "an old cookbook that also told how to make squirrel stew, and possum pie". I kid you not.

She told me it "was extremely difficult to remove the turtle to get to the meat. Heather's Dad finally had to use a hammer and other various tools".

Here's the kicker: My dear Soul Sister had proudly brought a group of new girlfriends home from college to have a nice relaxing weekend. (Her parents house is very large. Very large. And very beautiful.) And you guessed it...they were unknowingly served the said soup.

I'll spare you the details.

This is my very favorite section of the wall because it had a ton of childhood items that belonged to my Soul Sister.

Along with those sweet, red patent leather Mary Janes and little, white church gloves is her metal head gear from her braces years and a pair of dirty gym socks...

Here's where the epiphany took place.

It was here, while exploring this section of the Wall, I realized no matter how close you are to some one, no matter how alike you are, no matter you'd give them a kidney if they needed one...there are some things better left unsaid and unknown.

Like what kind of rubber glove is that? And why, on all things holy, is it on the Stuff Wall?

Olympic Lesson of the Day

Y'all remember this courageous young man? He and his brother learned how to do gymnastics in their family's barn loft in Wisconsin. He fought through a very painful injury with nerves of steel to help the U.S. clench the gold in Athens?

The Shooter family can't agree on our one most fave sport in the Games. We love swimming. We love the skeet shooting. We love rowing. We love track. And we love men's gymnastics. Especially ones this young man excelled at. Boy Child (who was almost 6 then) remembers him vividly from Athens. And couldn't "wait to see what he's gonna do for the United States this time".

Today they learned their first lesson from these Games.

Paul Hamm stepped down from his spot.

You see he has an injury that he feels may not heal enough for him to perform at his very best. And since "giving your very best is what the Olympic spirit means. It's what the Olympic oath says...", he just can't in "good conscience continue to hold a spot on the team."

The disappointment in the Shooter house was harsh.

But the lesson was unbelievably clear.

In what had to be young Mr. Hamm's most difficult, disappointing moment, he showed honor, pride, unselfishness, and unbelievable character.

Now how often will I get the chance to teach on a powerful life lesson like that?

We, in the Shooter household, are thinking of you tonight Mr. Hamm. You are a true gentleman.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Thank you for showing the same gentlemanly character young Mr. Hamm showed today, everyday. We don't acknowledge it enough or say thank you enough for that. So, Thank You.

Mommas, what do YOU do with freedom?

Apparently, Soul Sister and I have lost the hip, young, livin' on the edginess we used to exude because we didn't quite know what to do with our bad selves last night. I like to consider myself a true Fly-by-the-seat-of -my-jeans-kinda girl. I can store the 3/4 cooked meal I've been slaving over in 30 seconds flat if offered a dinner out. I can dig to the bottom of my bottomless purse to scrounge enough $$ for an I-gotta-have-it-or-I'll-be-the-scourge-of-the-neighborhood-if-you-dream-of-sayin'-no-ice cream-treat from the scary, is he a pedophile or just a desperate for a job freak slowing down to 40 mph in the van that is well past it's glory days before he rounds the corner. And I can switch roles of momma, wife and diva at the drop of a stinky sock.

Now even though I like to fantasize about my abilities and skills. Sometimes, reality hits me up side the big melon. That point was driven home last night.

You see, the Shooter fam had some hair-pin turns kinda changes to their plans this weekend and I ended up havin' a good ole fashion slumber party with Soul Sister. For three nights. With the added bonus of NO CRUMBS or HUSBANDS on one of them. We began the evening all giddy and gussied up to enjoy our newly found and very unexpected freedom only to realize our gumption had already up and went...without us.

Our plans of bar room line dancin', heavy drinkin' (which should have concluded with permanent Tramp Stamps a.k.a. tattoos) and jello wrestling actually turned into a much recommended Chick Flick starring Ashton Kutcher (now there's fine specimen of a young buck for ya) called What happens in Vegas (Which, by the way, was suppose to be our title for the rip roarin' evening we had fantasized about. - What happens in Plainsville, Stays in Plainsville Livin' in a town named Plainsville probably should have been the first clue?) and ending in a Girly-Bonding Chat at Starbucks.

And guess what my biggest disappointment of the evening was?

That it had to end.

I love my girlfriends.

I love the fact we were once the fair maidens. Now we are the matrons giving advice to our fair maidens. And one day, we will be the old crones squawking advice to anything that moves.

I've gained more wrinkles, my memory seems to have flown away with the clouds and certain body parts have given into gravity (really given in to gravity) - but my girlfriends still remain the same.

Strong, true, loyal and supportive.

Thank you girls. I love you.

Note to Soul Sister: I'm still contemplating what design I want for my permanent body marking. But don't get your hopes up, I think by the time I make up my mind I won't need courage, I'll need my daily dose of Ensure spiked with Geritol.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: When I'm a bossy old crone, what will you be? My croney? And don't think I don't know you just thought, "What do you mean when?!"