April 18, 2008

Should I or Shouldn't I?

That has been my dillema all evening. I am talking about todays post. I did not have anything in particular to blog. Well...I do. Two that involve Big Shooter. But one is so incredibly not appropriate for this blog I didn't even consider it...for more than 10 seconds. So I chose the lesser of two evils.

Let me try to get through it delicately...and keep the humor in it. Inappropriate humor. But, really, is there any other kind of humor in the Shooter household? Really?

When I am finished, please promise to not share with Big Shooter... but do share your embarrassing "mistaken identity" moments with me in the comments.

When I unpack the items from the grocery or Target I place them strategically in the kitchen to be picked up and carried to the appointed place when I pass by them. Example: The Shout and dryer sheets go on the end of the counter near the laundry room door. The bathroom items go on top of the microwave cart near the hallway leading to the bathroom. When I am finished and am walking that direction I grab them and put them away on my way. Make sense? Well...

Big Shooter was standing near the microwave talking to me after work while I was cooking dinner when he reached over and picked up a bottle that looks very much like a bottle of Jergen's hand lotion. He opened it, sniffed the fragrance and before I could utter a word, squeezed a glob in his palm to moisten and soften his dried hands.

He looked at the gel in his hand, looked at me with a puzzled look, picked up the said lotion again and this time took time to read the label...

He looked up at me again...this time with an indescribable expression and casually said, "That's not lotion now is it...?"

I casually said, "Nope. But, it sure is a post...," and went on cooking dinner with a smirk on my face.
It was Summer's Eve Feminine Soap.

Have any mistaken identities you can share with me in a comment...? Purty Please with Sugar on Top?

Love Note to my Big Shooter: You've come a loooonng way baby. I can remember a time that kind of mistake would have landed you in a looney-bin for days. Now? It's just another day in Paradise.


Anonymous said...

Boondoggoles? Oooooh Sooooo many and sooooo embarrassing!
1. Dad the Chef...having dinner with business people at a Baltimore seafood restaurant..popped a long neck clam into my mouth without removing the long neck and trying to chew the rubber band texture with ALL guest staring BUG EYED at me!
2.Having Sushi in a San Francisco Japanese restaurant with the latest of a long line of female friends, this particular one was a 10 and I was out to impress her..years ago of course...some alcohol involved.. ordered the edamame (peas in a very fibrous hull)instead of popping the peas out - I popped the whole thing in my mouth and started grinding..the Sushi Chef nearly jumped over the counter in disgust! No matter how much you chew endamame ya can't get er down..kinda like eating possum..take little bites and swollow quick.. cause the more ya chew the bigger it gets! No wonder there were so many lady friends..one after the other..dah.
3.On a business trip to Dalls I had to stay over a weekend to finish a deal.I was asked to join a group of people on a ranch for a big Western Barbeque. The lady of the house was having problems keeping the huge bbq fire going so I was elected to be the fire monitor. I identified that there was not nearly enough briquettes. I load the hopper and go to the garage and find two cans of lighter fluid. One was open so I generously apportioned the liquid and struck a match...well-well and all holy hell broke lose!!!! My facial and arm hair poofed at the same time the mesquite tree and bougainvillea bushes did!!! Not a clue what was in the can but on my way to emergency there was lots of speculation? And laughter!

Okay little Daughter...enough of me and goffy episodes

Flea said...

Sounds like this runs in the family. :) And I can't think of a single one for me, though I'm sure many exist. Sorry.

Jennifer said...

Ok, going to share something about me on my site...at least I think I am. It may be a bit too embarassing though. check it out at http://travfamilydoin.blogspot.com/