April 21, 2008

Crumb Snatcher Speak

I send out the longest Annual Letter on the face of the planet. I kid you not. Go ahead, giggle to yourselves and think, "Oh no...so and so sends the longest. Straight Shooter can't possibly top that." And I will reply with a simple number. 8. Eight pages this year. The people who received this year's letter thought they were being served papers... not getting a friendly Hello.

One of the things I always include, but drives me batty keeping track of, is a list of things the Crumbs say all year that I find amusing.

At any given time there will be several scraps of paper scattered around my computer desk with these little quotes on them. I write them on whatever is handy. Gum wrapper, grocery list, water bill, Wally World receipt, used napkins, the front half of Granny Grunt's latest just cause card - what ever is handy at the moment. I have learned the hard way - I will NOT remember it...no matter how funny or heart jerky it is.

Today I had an epiphany. Why not post them as I hear them so I won't be afraid of losing them in between the times I type them in my Annual Letter file! (And just so you can rest easy tonight: I will never claim to be the sharpest tool in the shed.)

Sheesh! All that 'xplainin' just to say here's the first Crumb Snatcher Speak.

Girl Child: "How many baby teeth do babies get?"
Boy Child (while rolling his eyes): "...all of 'em."

Girl Child: "Please name the spetific president who had a horse living at the White House."
Boy Child (in the I-know-more-than-you-cause-I'm-17 months-older-than-you-voice): "It's not spe-tific. It's puh-cific.

P.S. Just so you know (it makes me feel better to say this), this year's letter was really a two for one special b/c I sent '06 & '07 at the same time. And...the only one who complains about the length is My Father...and apparently my Dear FIL. Other Mommas dig it. Sorry Dad (s).

Love Note to my Big Shooter: You, my friend, provide a majority of my fodder for The Letter and I just want you to know how much I appreciate that. I truly do. Seriously. I'm not making fun of you.


FIL said...

I just finished page 3. So put me on your Dads list. That makes two of us.
Love you two

Anonymous said...

Well, Slick..
Better enjoy all the cute little things you hear from your brats for now...cause they will be "TEENAGERS" before you know it. You won't have to write down some of things they say then....you will be trying to put out the emotional fires, loving the rejoicing of accomplishment....splinting the aches and pains of sports event injuries!!!!! Oh yeh...car wrecks, speeding tickets...phoney school notes for hooky!.....and here's to fil..a man that knows his reading material!
How about this as an annual letter,.."Hi...we are all fine...over coming all obsticales and moving forward...no worries!
Love Skeeter" ha ha!
And, Lovies to you my sweet daughter!
PS..The scratches are very, very bad and the comment from Granny M is.."there is blood on my 700(?)something sheets"??????? Didn't have my hearing aids in at the time?
Is there any one that can remind me why I got married? :)

Unknown said...

LOL - I love your letters :)

And I got tired of trying to remember what to tell Troy that the kids said that day...so started blogging it too.

faroutmom said...

yes, I have been waiting patientley for my letter to arrive, since I gave you my addy about a month or so ago...lol..love you.

Flea said...

So fun! I didn't keep track of all of the fun sayings. One of my favorites, though was "You scared me out of the tar!" Got me thinking about the original and what it meant. Wait! Have I already told you that?

ShEiLa said...

Great IDEA... log the things they say them, as they say them. Then we get to enjoy the chuckles as well. Kids are wonderful! toodles, Sheila