April 14, 2008

I blame Ronald Regan

I was like every other normal kid in America when old Ronnie came into power. I couldn't wait for Summer Break, loved to hang out with friends, have sleep-overs with my girlfriend Squirrely Shirley every night...and only ate the obligatory jellybeans at Easter.

I always saved the jelly beans for last not because I wanted to savor them but because I knew they'd last till Hell Froze Over. I wondered why they came in different colors because they all tasted the same. I just really did not care for them - ever.

That was until Ronnie made his confession...he was a Jelly Belly fan. And overnight there were Jelly Bellys every where! I remember my mom and I buying them in a fancy little candy store for the first time. I could not believe there was such a fun candy! I mean c'mon! It was like a treasure hunt in every taste! Yes. It was red. But was it cherry, strawberry shortcake, sangria, or pomegranate? The flavors! Pomegranate and Sangria for an 11 year old was exotic!


I have been a fan ever since.
The Crumb Snatchers love them too. But I cannot allow them to run amuck with them b/c #1 is allergic to corn. And as you all know Jelly Bellys are just flavored corn syrup! Gloriously flavored corn syrup...but corn syrup none the less.

So I wait until I hear their little sleep sounds before I pull out my FOUR POUND Sam's brand of beans. There are 41 unique flavors. 41! My goal is to eat one of each flavor. Somehow that never seems to work out. I eat one and study the little picture on the back to make sure I know which one I'm tasting. Sometimes I can't tell (b/c sometimes it takes 4-6 to really tell...for sure...what flavor...it ...really is...) so I have to keep eating that kind until I figure it out or my taste buds revolt. Sometimes I will get one that I kid you not, tastes to me what an armpit would taste like. EEEWWWW! And of course I need to eat several more just to make sure I know which one it was so I don't mistakenly eat it again...accidentally.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: You know all that weight you're losing? I'm saving it for ya! No need to thank me. I'm your Girl Friday.

7 comments:

Sheila said...

Love this post Straight Shooter! I have to agree whole-heartedly. I never paid any attention to jelly beans at all... until I discovered Jelly Belly's. I love how you describe your kids (Crumb Snatchers)actually I love your whole theme... Big Shooter, Straight Shooter, ...we must be KIN!
Thanks for reading my blog and leaving the comments, I don't know if you'll enjoy my blog 1/2 as much as I enjoy yours. I think your love notes to Big Shooter are too cool. I hope I have this right...Big Shooter has kidney cancer. My BIL(bro-in-law)was diagnosed with that several years back. He is totally fine now. I hope all goes well for your hubby as well. -toodles, Sheila, NV

Erin said...

4 pound bag??? haha! that's awesome.

Flea said...

Mmmmm ... Jelly Belly. And corn allergies are no fun! One of my Florida friends had an allergic son and she made everything from scratch. Couldn't even take most OTC drugs because capsules are coated with a corn substance. Turns out it wasn't corn after all, but his immune system. Weird.

truthinsoliloquy said...

You know what I love about gourmet jelly beans? They're such a novel little indulgence.

I mean, who doesn't get tired of mixing flavors?

You DO have to be careful not to OD on them. Because once something makes you puke, you're not likely to ever enjoy it again.

And that would be a cryin' shame.

Love your darlin' blog!

Anonymous said...

I think my favorite are the popcorn flavored ones which is wierd, I know.
Keep us updated on Big Shooter! I love you guys and want to keep my prayers specific (even though I know God has it all in His control).
Heather

Anonymous said...

You have just Out-ed yourself!
Lovies
Dad

Jennifer said...

I have that same bag. I love the popcorn flavored and the coffee, but hate it when I get that confused with the black licorice, which I HATE!!!! That's the ones that taste like arm pit to me!!!