July 24, 2008

A horn is NOT for honkin'

I am so confused.
I was taught a car horn was an attention getter.
According to Big Shooter, my Driver's Ed instructor failed me.
Apparently I missed the whole lesson on A horn is NOT for honkin'.

I have heard these kinds of statements for over 20 years now:
"A horn is not a play thing."
"It should only be used in extreme emergencies."
"If you touch my horn again...I'll chop your arm off..."

I have listened respectfully and abide by his wishes.
Kind of.
I have occasionally beeped the horn when he's walking in front of the vehicle.
If he is oogling when he thinks I'm not paying attention I've been known to reach over and give the honk a little pressure...then wave.
I honk when I drive away from home just to let him know I'm thinkin' of him.
Things of that nature.

He freaks. I giggle.

But here's where the confusion comes in.

When we see a JUST MARRIED message painted on a car, everyone knows the universal good wish is - honk to wish them good fortune. Will he? No.
When we pass the dude dressed up in a cow costume outside Chic Fil A, in 102 degree weather, holding a sign that says, "HONK, if you love chicken." Does he? No way!
When his face is purple and veins are bulging from the moron driving in front of us does he? No.

But when we see the resident loony dude dressed in his filthy felt Santa suit, perpetually riding his bike around town holding his latest sign, "Honk for Obama", does he? Yes.
Yes?! We have a McCain sign in our yard...
When I look over at him in shock and raise my eyebrows in question he shrugs and says with his crooked grin, "You'd think someone riding a bike wouldn't want to be honked at...".
He's correct of course.

At least he didn't oblige the loony dude's last sign.
Fart 4 free gas.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Honk. beep. beep. Honk! HONNNNNNK!!!!


FIL said...

Hey SweetDIL
FREE GAS ???????
Fart toot toot Fart FAAAAAAAAAART

Love ya

FerLee said...

Well...my horn is for honkin'!! I too adhere to the rule that it isn't used for just anything, but if I get cut off hard...I HONK! I honk to show support, but certainly not Obama! I honk to get hubby's attention if I need him in the garage for something. Isn't that what it's for????

Anonymous said...

Honnnnnnkkkkkk...honnnnnnk! Honnk for God's sake! Honk for JOY! Honk for FREEDOM! Honk to show you are FREE! Honking is FREE! Practice HONKING! Honk for foreplay and then DRIVE like A BAT OUT of HELL!
I been to Oklahoma and I've seen the Hell Bat Drivers...I HONNNNKED at em!

Sheila said...

great story!
the horn on our biggest vehicle doesn't match it's size... sounds like a bicycle horn. Toyota needs to fix the sound that comes out of a Tundra... for sure.
you made me laugh...thanks!

Flea said...

I never remember to use my horn until it's too late. That's what I get for teaching myself to drive. :( Will you teach me to use the horn, oh wise one?