March 11, 2009

(Big sigh...) Back to Momma Fluff a.k.a. Crumb Snatcher Speak

After the past few posts, you may be happy to know I am back on the xanax and wine coolers. Which translates to, "I am back to normal. It should be plain ole bore-ing momma bloggin' for a while y'all."

Girl Child Speak:

  • After hearing all the ins and outs (pun not intended) of the slim odds of sperm and egg actually meeting, Girl Child shouted, "It's like The Price is Right!!! You, (pointing her finger and speaking in a deep voice) Lucky Woman are the lucky winner of a baaaaaby! This prize includes diapers, spit up, poop and looooove."

  • After watching a toy being tossed to her brother hit him in the chest she giggled with glee, "Ooow, that hit you in the breasts!" Noticing the look on her brother's face I corrected her, "Scooby (nickname), boys don't have breasts." "YEAH!", exclaimed her big brother. She didn't even pause. "Oooow, that hit you in the lumps then..."

Boy Child Speak:

  • Daddy-O glanced at the TV as he passed by. While backing up, he inquired about who was riding an animal on the previous shot. Boy Child informed him, "It wasn't a kid or a parent. It was another kind of human. It was a grandma."

Love Note to my Big Shooter: I am so grateful to know when Momma's not around, the Crumbs are still in capable hands. Thank you for putting on the doctor, nurturer, taxi, chef, teacher and chief bottle washer hats for me yesterday, Love.


Anonymous said...

Hey Bent Shot! It was so nice to see you with the Crumbs at the plasma donation center yesterday. What a coincidence that we both ended up at the same little biker bar later that night, huh? Listen buddy, I knew things were tight, but I had no idea you had sunk so low as to sell the Crumbs' plasma for drinkin' money. The other gender-benders and I would've pitched in to buy you a beer had we known.

And thank God that bar served free peanuts so you could feed the kids! I'm going to try your helpful tip about the double dose of Benadryl too -- it brings tears to my eyes thinkin' of those two sweet babes passed out in your car the whole evening.

Please let me know you made it home safely. I knew you were in no condition to drive, man. Had I not been passed out on the floor myself, I'd have taken the keys from ya. Good to know Momma's home.

ShEiLa said...

Its a relief to know that I was a child. I am a parent... but being a Grammy makes me another kind of human. ;D

at our house we call em pecs as in
Pectoralis major or Pectoral muscles.

SS I am surprised this wasn't part II of the Errector muscle-goosebump series. :D


Flea said...

Bubba's got it goin' on.

Boys have boy boobs, doncha know.