May 12, 2009

Welcome to the Hood

I so wanted to have this introduction to my "charming neighborhood" all thought out and planned in order of the houses.

And typical of my charming ain't gonna work out like that.

Today you get to meet the Recluse Artist. By meet I don't mean get to see and make his acquaintance. You get to hear about him.

  • He has lived across the street from the Shooters for about 14 years.
  • He did not talk to us for the first 9. (Don't think I didn't try. Alot.)
  • He leaves his house every day between 4 and 4:30pm.
  • He returns with a case of beer.
  • He has long hippy hair.
  • He walks with a cane.
  • He is thoughtful enough to make sure his Pink Floyd is heard by us all. In our houses.
  • His art is unbelievably fantastic. Fantastically scary. And fantastically creative.
  • He threatened our other neighbor, a former Vietnam vet, whom I'll call Hot Head for a very real reason, with a hammer one morning. (I guess he'd eaten his Wheaties.)

Things always seem to happen to his house. During the Ice Storm of the Century, the Crumbs and I watched in disbelief as giant tree limb after tree limb crashed down on his roof and car. Someone recently decided to use the side of his house for bottle rocket target practice. And today...

Young Pedro decided to park his "borrowed" ride on Artist's porch.
He was showing off for Girlfriend.
Their date ended in the backseat.
Of a police cruiser.
That'd be Young Pedro getting the cuffs.
Recluse Artist is in the blue shirt.
He's leaning over on his cane so you can't enjoy his long hippy hair.
(Yes. I was just standing out in broad daylight snapping pics with my phone. I figured it wasn't me who should be embarrassed.)
That would be Girlfriend standing beside the car talking/crying/confessing her undying love to Romeo.
I was concerned about what kind of life lesson the whole thing was teaching the Crumbs when Girl Child pointed out to me what a fool young Girlfriend was. When I gave her the Momma raised eyebrow look, she pointed out, "She should be embarrassed. She should re-think her boyfriend choices. She needs to change purses."
I looked more closely.
Sure enough, as bold as Dallas, her purse said, "I (heart) Bad Boys"..
It couldn't have been a better life lesson today in the hood for the Crumbs.
Love Note to my Big Shooter: Oh the fun we have while you are away!


Rudy said...

Oh the purse is hilarious! Girl child is so wise beyond her years. Now how fast must one be going in a narrow neighborhood street filled with parked cars to go up an incline and into a house?? Certainly glad no children were out playing. Hmmm wonder if they will now be sending Pedro back where he belongs :) Glad you were bold and took pictures for us!

Flea said...

I noticed the bag. Perfect! Your kids will be such good adults for their experience now. Better than sending them to public school!

Kristina P. said...

That is awesome! Reminds me of the good old days of living in So. California.

ShEiLa said...

I [heart] bad boys.
Guess it makes for interesting dates. Never a dull moment... or a romantic one. You just can't find romance in a cop car... right?

This was an awesome day for introductions... for sure. Once again I am wishing I was your neighbor.

I NEVER play LOUD music... so that would take some getting used to.
We stayed at my daughters and the music is very loud there... late at night... mariachi style.

mi casa no es su casa… reservada por favor [My house is not your house... quiet please].


Jill of All Trades said...

Oh my.

Unknown said...

What a great story. And the purse comment ... that's a girl after my own heart.

Unknown said...

Hi--larious! And to think, we used to live in your 'hood. Thanks for sharing what we are missing ;)

Wonder if he had insurance....

Anonymous said...

Such excitement! You gotta love real life entertainment. It's better than TV.


Amy said...

Ok, so I decided to follow your blog link on the e-mail you sent me today (following up on my brilliant e-mail) and it was by far the best decision I made today! Reading about the amazing drama playing out not more than a few hundred feet behind my house made me laugh so hard I had tears in my eyes. All I can say is: after reading your blog, I realize I need to become better friends with you - I need more laughter in my life!