The Ask Big Shooter Post

Every coupla weeks I get an email asking questions about Big Shooter. Last week, I had one asking about his blog name compared to his real name. Many times they ask how we met or what our marriage is really like. Did he really write the love letter to me? Once someone asked if he likes fried chicken...

So I figured I'd see if there's anything you'd like to ask him? Or me...about him? He's agreed to answer any questions you might throw his way. Which, honestly, scares me.

Bad.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: I just have two words to say/remind you of ~ Family Blog.

Fact of the Day: When it comes to tornadoes, the U.S. rules the world. Literally. We average 700 a year. There are only two states who do not have them on a regular basis: Alaska and Rhode Island. I thought that was pretty interesting. I knew Okie-homa would be high on the list. We were. 56 is our average. But, the great state of Texas whoops us each year. Their average? 124. Holy.Cow.

Kids in the 'hood are Brilliant

We all know there is no fun quite like Snow Fun...
Well here in the 'hood, we do it up right.
First, the conditions have to be perfect.
They were.
Thick layer of ice.
Followed by a nice cushy layer of damp snow.
Perfect slicker'n snot conditions for slidin' and sleddin'.

First, you outfit 'em up with high tech Slippin'-n-Slidin' gear.

The kind found at Target and Wal*Mart.

Then turn 'em loose in the streets.

Yes, that is his shoe pokin' through.

It was a fabulous idea...in my head.

You encourage them to be creative in their work.

If that isn't a Hood Snowgirl, then I need to close shop.

She's got her colors.

Her spiked bling.

Her flinty gaze,

a big caboose,

...and huge ta-tas.

Now with my Girl unknowingly enhancing them for me.

Thank you for that Sugar.

Your father is gonna be so proud of this post.

Gratuitous picture of my Baby.

He does not know he isn't a husky.

He thinks God created the white fluffy stuff just for him.

I was hoping to show you how absolutely gorgeous the ice was sparkling and shimmering in the sunlight. But alas, this picture does not give you the oooo ~ ahhhh feeling I was searching for.
Sorry.

No doubt this one of my baby, Olliver will though.

Okay, I'll stop! I can tell by his look and yours...

I snapped this right before we headed to The Hill.

Now, the saddest part of this post is I did not have my camera with me at The Hill. For if I did, you'd have to agree the kids in the 'hood, when left to their own devices, are brilliant and creative thinkers. Real problem solvers.

Not all the kiddos out sleddin' today had the great joy and privilege of owning a real sled, toboggan, disk or other snow vehicle.

So they got creative, solved the dilemma and provided for themselves.

Here's a short list of what I saw in action or deserted on The Hill today:

• The typical garbage can lids.
• Giant plastic sheeting.
• Standard Okie blue tarp. (Their Daddy'll miss that coverin' one of his cars in the yard...)
• Skateboards with no wheels.
• Ice chest lid.
• An ice chest.
• Laundry baskets galore.
• A gi-normous wok.
• Cardboard. (if you're moving, The Hill is your box source.)
• A cookie sheet.
• A plastic flexible cutting board.
• Metal flashing.
• A realtor sign. (I should have taken old JBF signs and hocked 'em for a buck a pop. Coulda made Sashi and I a coupla bucks!)
• A full size trash can.

And my two favorites...

1. A full size pickup truck bed liner. (It carried a whole block's worth of kiddos.)
2. And a Kiddie Pool. (It carried the whole fam damily. Including the dog.)

All in all it was a fabulous day.

We saw some spectacular crashes on the homemade jobbies.

The kids realized the whiny-hiney episode of owning only one serviceable sled at the moment was small and petty when they looked around and realized at least they had one. I was very proud of the way they eagerly shared theirs and experimented with the offered alternatives.

Oh, and their vocabulary was expanded today. Not in a good kinda expansion either. But hey! At least the poor neglected homeschoolers were socializing with their peers.

They came home sopping wet, freezing cold, red-faced and smiling from ear to ear.

I sure hope that wasn't our last Snow Day of the winter cause I'm hoping Taco Bandito (Sashi's lover) can hook the Shooter fam up with a truck bed liner for the next big snow.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: You missed it today Bubba! I know you wanted me to put their go-cart helmets on 'em...but Love, I already scar them by educating them at home. I just couldn't add Over Protective to the mix today...

Fact of the Day: Why is it significant that the first Roosevelt dime was issued on this day in 1946? Because in 1937 the then POTUS, who himself was afflicted with polio, asked his fellow Americans to each send him a dime for polio research, they did. He received 150,000 letters a day for months. He called the event The March of Dimes. On April 15, 1955, exactly ten years after Roosevelt's death, Dr. Jonas Salk announced his discovery of the first polio vaccine. Hence, when it came time to honor the late President, Congress chose the dime.

Crumb Snatcher Speak & upcoming interview

Boy Child, very matter of fact: "You know I'm only 10 and I've already dumped one girlfriend..."

Me, thinking: Oh maaaaan! And this from he who last week didn't think it was okay for any other male to touch his new wife's garter!

Me, asking: "Wwwow. Really? And who was that...?"

Boy Child, again very matter of fact: "I don't really know. I can't ever remember her name...it was so long ago. Like a lifetime."

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Oh Crud! I think we're (okay, I) am going to be in for big trouble with this one..."I've already dumped a girlfriend..."
Oh, and one more little thing. Would you be up for an interview? Like if people left questions in the comments or emailed them to me and I asked you and then posted the answers in a post kind of interview? You'd be cool with that? Fabulous! Okay, y'all - ask away!

One Fact a Day: Today is Oprah's 55th birthday! Yes. Five-five.

"Hello Principal Shooter? Yeah (fake cough), I need a sub today..."

I figure that's what I may need to do after Big Shooter's misplaced words of yesterday's post.

Silly man. He has no idea what is about to be set before him!

(This would be BS after, oh say 10 minutes, of teaching the Crumbs...)

My mom does.

And she won't do it again.

Be my substitute.

When Big Shooter came home from the little surgery in which they cut him in half and removed a cancer ridden organ and I was still fulfilling his fantasy of servant, I mean nurse, my very brave momma agreed to teach the Crumbs for me a couple days so they wouldn't get too far behind.

Picture of Brave Momma teaching the Crumbs

How'd that turn out?

Wellll, let me ask you what you were like when you walked into class and saw an easy target - a.k.a. a substitute teacher?

It went about this good:

I'm just pulling your leg. Well, about the easy target substitute part....

And now speaking of school, I have decided since a majority of my days are taken up with school I would like to share a little fact each day. Starting with today.

Where were you when...?

...this happened 23 years ago today?

I was a junior in Chemistry class. And I can hear President Reagan's words in my head to this day, "...when they slipped the surly bonds of this Earth and touched the face of God."

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Sorry to dampen your mood in the end Big Guy. I have another fact you might find enjoyable. Cause I think it's a guy thing? Yesterday (when I wanted to start a Fact a Day), Thomas Crapper, the guy who invented...well, you know, would have been 99 years old.

Errector muscles, goose bumps & public school...

When Big Shooter asked the kids what they'd learned in school the other day...
We, all three, enthusiastically explained we learned what causes goose bumps!
(Do you already know?)
There's a little, teeny-weeny, microscopic muscle at the base of each and every hair on your body. When a stimulus is applied (like temperature or fear) it contracts and pulls the hair erect into an upright position!
The muscle is called arrector pili.
Now at this point I could go down the road you think I am dying to go down...and the truth of it is, I am dying to bring up the fact that there are millions of teeny-weeny, microscopic muscles that sole job, when stimulated of course, is to cause millions of teeny-weeny erections...

But, I'm not. I am going to share the rest of the conversation with Big Shooter instead.

When we were all done enthusiastically explaining the reason for goose bumps, he looked at me questioningly and asked with amusement, "Are you serious? You didn't know that?"

"Uhhh, no. I didn't." (Did y'all? Am I alone in my ignorance?)

He looked at me and very seriously said, "I'm a little concerned...maybe they should go to public school."

So I am dying to know if you all knew about this most humorously named muscle that only needs a little stimulation to cause an erection?? Cause if you all do, he's right, they need to go elsewhere besides the kitchen table to be educated.

If you didn't know about the erector muscles (I love saying it), aren't you just the littlest bit curious to know how Big Shooter knows all about them?

Yeah, me too.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: I don't know what to say here Big Guy. I don't want the words teen-weeny or microscopic or erector muscle in your love note...so I am just going to be moseyin' on now...

It's THAT time again...

JBF - Just Between Friends.

Our sale is 9 weeks away.

So Saucy Sashi and I are meeting to get things done...often.

We had a breakfast meeting a little while back.

After about an hour or so, Girl and Boy Child had pretty much had enough.

Since I have no clue how to work the scanner and the pix are blurry, I'll translate below.

Girl Child leans around and slips a note on our table: "are you omost done?"

Sashi: "Yes! In a JBF kinda way! Love, Sashi"

Girl Child: "Hello Girl Child speaking. I'm glad I'm realy glad. I'm realy realy glad Love Girl Child"

But, apparently she didn't believe us, because When Boy Child asked what we'd said, she wrote this to him: "no, In a copl hours."

When the ticket came it was Boy Child's turn. He slipped me this note: "Do I have to pay?"

Me: "Yes! Use your good looks and charm."

Girl Child interrupted: "He berly has any. love Girl Child"

Love Note to my Big Shooter: I can berly believe it's omost time for another sale???

Mission Accomplished

We all remember former President Bush standing on the flight deck with the ginormous banner behind him - MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. He faced years of ridicule for that. My question to you is this: Did he accomplish his personal mission to protect us on his watch? Did we not enjoy safety in our own country on his watch?

I am with the half of the U.S. who believes we must make the unpleasant choice, apply force when needed, sacrifice one to save all, if you will. I am mortified to find out the first change President Obama has signed into effect is the closing of Gitmo (with no clear and solid plan as to where the detainees are going. Some are going to be sent back to their countries, some to other countries, some into the U.S. Of course this is all tentative to a 30 day committee investigation???) That decision joined with these idealistic notions : "We intend to win this fight. We're going to win it on our terms, in a manner that is consistent with our values and our ideals," Obama declared, turning U.S. policy abruptly on just his second full day in office.

??? Our terms? Is he joking? When was the last time you heard an extremist say, "Before I blow myself up to kill as many of you infidels as I can so I can go visit my 70 virgins, I'd really be interested in your terms of this fight." Riiiight. And with "our values and ideals"???? There are so many grown men cleaning their britches out tonight...I am with them.

Call it what you want. It is bleeding heart, idealistic, naivety b.s.

Be prepared people, we are going to be attacked again.

No wonder he received the high praise and high campaign donations from the Arab nations. They must be licking their chops today. Salivating at their luck.

I may be in the minority, but I am thankful for Bush's resolve, his steadfast commitment to keeping my children safe, not matter the risk, ridicule, or crucifixion he faced. I knew he was willing to do whatever it took. And, I for one, appreciated that.

A friend of mine sent this link to me yesterday. It is a place to thank President Bush for his actions and protection of us right after and around 9/11. Here's the letter I left him:

To My Steadfast Commander In Chief,

I offer my sincerest gratitude for becoming a nation's unyielding shield. For enduring the enemy's painful arrows and at times the world's wrath. You were an exemplary shepard to your flock. You offered shelter in stormy weather. Water to our souls when they were withered with sorrow and worry. Sustenance when there seemed to be no more available. You never shied from the wolves. Always sought out the one missing and in need of protection. Ever mindful of us. Of our vulnerabilities.The price you paid for my continued freedom is immeasurable. And I am eternally grateful.

Your fellow American,

Straight Shooter

President George W. Bush walks the South Lawn Tuesday, Jan. 20, 2009, prior to departing the White House for the final time.


Former President George W. Bush glances out over the U.S. Capitol as he helicopters a final time to Andrews Air Force Base Tuesday, Jan. 20, 2009, following the Inauguration of President Barack Obama.


A folder addressed to "44," left by Former President George W. Bush for President Barack Obama, sits on the Resolute desk in the Oval Office Tuesday, Jan. 20, 2009.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: I love the new House Rule: Cuddling on the sofa for 15 minutes...NO MATTER WHAT is on the have to get done list. Cause you are correct, (yeees. I said correct and you in the same breath) nothin' is more important than gettin' us done. Thank you for reminding me. (I would go gag about this time in a normal Love Note, but I am actually very touched by Big Shooter's new insight.) Love you Big Guy.