July 10, 2008

He's in denial. With a capitol D.

Ya'll I need to go to bed but I have to poke fun, I mean, ask for advice.

Big Shooter is in some serious denial about his girl.

Here's our recent phone call.

B.S.: Big Shooter here.
Me: Hi Darlin'. (a few moments of tradin' small talk, then) Just so you know, I'll be havin' a Girl Talk with #2 very soon."

Complete Silence.
Then lots of noise that sounds suspiciously like the receiver being rubbed on paper/chair cushion/what ever was handy.

Me: Sweetie? (more suspicious rustling) Did you hear me?

Long pause.

B.S.: I...don't...I...no. I don't need to know any more.
Me: I know Darlin', but it's...
B.S.: lalalalalalalalalalal (he more than likely had at least one ear plugged with his finger while doing this)
Me: got to happen soon. She's starting to grow...
B.S.: (VERY loud now) LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa
Me: ...and she's going to need a little sports br...

Pretty loud thunk.


Did he drop the phone? Fall out of his chair?

Me: Love? You okay?
B.S.: No more. 'kay?
Me: (giggling) Okay Darlin'.
B.S.: No! I'm serious. I can't. She can't.
Me: (couldn't resist) BraperiodboysdatingPROM!

I heard an audible gasp,
then faint "lalalalalalalalalas"
...then click.

(insert evil chuckle) Oh. Oh, this is gonna be fun.

...that is until Boy Child starts speaking in a squeaky voice, grows hair in unmentionable places, wants his door closed...won't hug me in public... Oh God, No!


Love Note to my Big Shooter: I so look forward to our future years with the Crumb Snatchers. I love to daydream about future situations - driving, dating (meeting Mr. Bail Bondsman for the first time), dropping them off at college (more bail), weddings... Some make me smile and giggle. Some make me laugh out loud. Some make me tear up...then, of course, gag.


Fawn said...

Gurl, you can use anything of mine ya want!

Good luck with "the talk".

FerLee said...

I am SO not looking forward to that with Sweetpea...I think...maybe...I don't know. I think it's the emotional side of it that I'm not looking forward to. Her's or mine??? I don't know. The boys, however, I think the little squeaky voices are adorable, and I'm so glad it's DAD who get's to have the "talk" with them. It's the pimples I'm not looking forward to on them, oh and maybe the smells!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Your blog is so entertaining. "He's in denial" was quite a hoot!

I still remember when my Mom told me we were going to have a talk & she also had a surprise for me. I was so excited! The day came, both my brother & myself were getting a surprise.

We got our chores done faster than usual, but after the talk (which I thought UCK!! GROSS!) I wondered why I hurried with my chores only to find out what gross changes my body was about to do to me. My surprise? A BOOK about those body changes and about "LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa"

Thanks for sharing.

The Fritz Facts said...

My hubby does the same thing!! Lalalalalalalala

Too funny!!

Flea said...

LOL!!! Yeah, been there, done that. :D Oatmeal Head, at 14, has hair all over, including the chin. He won't shave and looks like Shaggy on Scooby Doo. It's summer, so we're just giving him a hard time about Scooby Snacks.

Don't worry, though. Your boy will continue giving you hugs. Until there's a cute girl he likes nearby. Heh.

Beth from the Funny Farm said...


That is cute. My kids have me for a mama. They are so PREPARED... lol I drive them CRAZY.

I think I hear "lalalalalala" coming from their mouths. **snicker!**

ShEiLa said...

all of these moments are unforgetable... enjoy every moment.