Pain Med Update

Ummm...well, as it turns out theywereinmypursethewholetime. But I did find some very interesting things under the bed and behind the dresser...

And to answer the question of had I already called the doctor...
Absolutely. Remember I'm the big pansy who went through the Night of Pure Hell with the Big Shooter when his epidural quit. THAT is what is so amazing to all of us in the first place. That I would misplace the one thing he must have to not repeat any of that glorious time spent together...And yes, after letting me know I was indeed the biggest bimbo on the planet and how they have to notify the police and DEA I lost the meds and am asking for more they called Dr. Kangaroo out of surgery to write me another script...which of course I did not need after all because I am indeed the biggest bimbo on the planet andtheywereinmypursethewholetime!
I also located his CrackBerry charger if you were wondering about that too...in the hospital Lost & Found. They closed at 4pm. I arrived at 4:04 to retrieve it...
Other than those few minor glitches, I had a great day. Thankyouverymuch!

Release comes in many forms

I did not know there were so many ways to feel release. Big Shooter walked over, put out his wrist with hospital bands and handed me scissors. After cutting them I asked if he felt released. He raised his eyebrow and said, "I felt real release when that thingy was no longer attached to my...thingy. (catheter) And when I could take a shower or use the restroom without a nurse bursting in to "check on my status" b/c I'd unhooked myself from the heart monitor...or when I was able to...ummm...well...ummm, rid my bowels of things hanging about. THAT was release." I said, "Oh, I just meant did you feel release because the bracelets were tight...but, thanks for the insight on your hospital stay."

Had a day.

Not an overly bad day. Not a good day. Just a day.

• Big Shooter was sick this morning...gas pains. Bad ones. Take your breath away, double you over, cried like a baby kind of gas pains. I guess that happens when you take heavy, heavy doses of narcotics and get constipated...
• Didn't school the kids again...someone please call DHS so I can get a break...please.
• The kids are not at all thrilled they will be attending school through the summer. When I explained they could either get over that issue or I could hold them back and just repeat this year they were horrified. "What?! You can do that?" Uh, yeah. Remember I'm the teacher, principal, board of education and truant officer.
• I (or someone in this house on a whole lot of drugs) have lost (yes - L O S T ) the pain meds. We are gimping along right now on some left-overs from his gallbladder surgery, buuut...he's not a happy camper right now. We have torn-the-house-apart. No luck.
• I get to dig through 4 very full, smelly, nasty, gross, Iamnotlookingforwardtoit, trash cans in the morning.
• I somehow forgot about the Giant Slice across BS's abdomen when I roughly reached over and brushed off some cracker crumbs on his stomach area today...it was bad. bad.
• I realized I haven't read a real book since February. Me. I live to read. February. Sad. Just sad.
• I don't even have any suggestions for anything good to read right now. Do you?
• Apparently I forgot the wall charger for the CrackBerry at the hospital. I did not do it on purpose. I swear. Big Shooter thinks I did and he's hardly talkin' to me right now. Who cold blame him? First his drugs and now his CrackBerry...he's afraid of what's next I am sure.

Nothing so horrible I have to go to confession, but then again there didn't seem like anything good today either. Well, that's not true. My mom is here helping save the day. That is very good. She has saved me for almost two weeks now. Her last day is tomorrow and I want her to stay two more weeks.

I'm done whinin' and complain'. Thanks for listening. I am going to bed now. Tomorrow is a new day, Thank You God.

Good Night. Amen.

Love Note to Big Shooter: Sorry about your meds and CrackBerry darlin'. It's been a horrible, no good, very bad day for you. Tomorrow is always better.

Sorry, having technical difficulties.

Due to the fact I am blogging from my pantry since the tornado sirens are blaring I am unable to publish any meaningful posts this evening.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Sorry there's not enough room in here for the bed...if you blow away we promise to come look for you in Missouri or Arkansas...or better yet, follow the yellow brick road home Big Guy!

Who knew...?

Click on it and tell me what your blog's reading level is! We already know it's skewed...I mean c'mon, GENIUS?!?

Bionic Smell?

I had a small brain surgery a few summers ago and when I returned home I kid you not, I had bionic hearing.
The regular hum of the refrigerator running sounded like a train going through the kitchen. I told BS someone was on our porch with a bucket...it was our neighbor across the street behind his house in the garage carrying a plastic bucket. I am not making this stuff up. BS thought I'd fallen in a vat of toxic slime and had become like some sort of super hero (well in my case Super Villain).
I told him to please shoo the neighbor kids playing on our front wall away before someone fell off and sued us. He came back into the house with a weirder look on his face than normal and told me the only kids outside where the ones at the end of the next block.
So imagine how quickly I understood when BS started to make smell, fragrance or aroma comments the moment we got home.
Bionic I tell you.

• "Did you just cut up carrots?" Uh, yesss. I am in the kitchen. He is in the back of the house in our bed.
• "Did the BDP just let one?" I had to go into the living room to check, which by the way is even further away from the bedroom than the kitchen!
• "Can you do me a favor when you get a chance? Can you wash the curtains hanging behind the bed?" ????? Ummm, sure. I'll get right on that Big Shooter.

Bionic smell. This outta be interesting.

Love Notes to my Big Shooter: It's so good to be home with all those near and dear to me under one roof. I am so thrilled to have you home Solo Kidney Man! Have you let it sink in yet BS? Cancer Free (in awe), Cancer Free (high squeaky voice), Cancer free (deep voice), CANCER FREE (yelled), cancer free (whispered). Yep, cancer free.

More faces from the week...

I know y'all are getting tired of hospital pix. But, here's the deal. These nurses saved our bacon the past several days and I told 'em they'd be famous if they'd wear the stinkin' sombrero and let me post their pics. I just neglected, I mean forgot, to mention there were only 2 faithful readers to hear their accolades... So please indulge me one more hospital people post.

Above, in the blue, is Danna. She rocked when it came to shootin' it straight with explanations and scheduled meds Baby!! Thanks Danna.

Above is Trish. She was married 26 years ago to the Love of her Life when she was 16! They are still on their honeymoon...even though he is serving his second volunteered gig in Iraq. She, along with the rockinest nurse ever - Valerie, were The Angels of the Night on Thurs. night when BS's epidural went AWOL. Trish held B's hand, spoke calmly and confidently to both of us. She was our Calm in the Hell Storm. Thank you Trish.

We were unable to get a pic of Valerie. I don't know what to say that would be adequate praise for her. She did one of two things the whole night. 1. She had already ordered, asked about, made the phone call, or accomplished what ever needed to be done for BS before I could even ask, or 2. Said, "I'm on it," if I asked her to call the doctor back up even though he'd barely had time to return to his floor or if it was #3 phone call of the very early hours in an hours time... Thank you Trish. If the world were filled with nurses like you...Wow!

Here's The Dude. Dr. Rickner - kidney removal specialist. Does anyone remember Captain Kangaroo? Do you think he looks like him? And take a look at those hands! Now you know why B's incision is so huge. The man had to be able to get those ham hocks in there!! I absolutely trust Dr. Kangaroo. He was my kind of dude. A real Straight Shooter.

US Beef friends who were game for the Sombreros! Visits from The Office friends made him smile all afternoon. Thank you to all so much for taking the time to let him know the office can't run without him!

And thanks again for the hats girls - Lori & Angela - they have so been the perfect prop!

This guy is a great friend to the BS. He came during the days to see if there was anything he could do to help (like feed the BS broth, which the BS didn't remember or believe happened...). He was much like our Uncle Dwayne, who came in the evenings to do the same. Just offer any assistance he could to the BS or me. Dwayne, along with Sashi, have both witnessed what I call the Looney Tune eyes when BS is overly tired or in bad pain. I so appreciated these two gentlemen's help each day and night they were able to come! Thanks so much guys!