November 13, 2008

Apparently I forgot to tell you I'd be gone.

I almost wish I had some exciting, dramatic or tragic news to share so I wouldn't feel so weird answering all the thoughtful, sweet inquiries about my lack of posting/well-being.
But nay, it's nothing even remotely in any of those categories. I was at a national conference with my other spouse - Saucy Sashi.
We were asked to speak on our grass roots efforts concerning marketing, which translates to "We are cheap."
We were also up against some major stiff competition for franchise of the year.
As it turned out, our speech went fabulous and was oh so timely with everyone's need to cut back spending aaand we didn't win Franchise of the Year.
We did however, win Best Marketing. That was cool. (I'd post a gratuitous pix of the pretty little crystal award if I had my camera. Tomorrow then...)
But the whole weird thing about it was it was held here, in Plainsville.
Sashi and I pawned our spawn off and stayed at the Doubletree with 70+ other JBF owners (from around the country). We are cheap y'all. Paying for a hotel room in our own city was way more than Weird. It was also Entertaining. Educational. Inspiring. And worth every penny.
'Remember this Hunk O'Munk?

He paid me a semi-surprise visit on one of the evenings we were out and about.
Oh yeah, he did. While we were eating delicious, chocolate dessert at the Melting Pot, delicious hot Black Leather Pants came a visitin'. Just to plant one on me Baby! (said in most gravely, sexy voice you can muster)
Rrrrrr. It was a delicious, hot, melting dessert all right...
After he stood me back up and dislodged his tongue, a good time was had by all. There were many there who know him personally, so when the shock factor wore off and they realized it was Mr. Conservative himself under the make up, hair and pleather...welll, let's just say they wanted to stroke his tatoos, rub the leather and have their picture made with him. He secretly ATE IT UP! (I am hoping to provide gratuitous pix of that outing too.)
Before you ask it or say it -Yeah, he really did. I think turning 40 and conquering kidney cancer does something to you. If he wanted to dress up like Pee Wee Herman and run down the street with sparklers I'd be right there cheering him on. Cause honestly, I am just thrilled he is still here with me.
So a Rock Star it is.
And between you and me Girlies, I know you all have your secret little fantasies. Whether he be
Mr. Police Officer.
Mr. Mailman.
Mr. Caveman.
Mr. Stripper.
Fabio or a Rock Star.
Mine just happens to have been Bad Boy Rocker. And now he lives with me.
And what a fantasy he has turned out to be.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Darlin' I, for one, am lovin' this whole Rock Star phase. I hope it lasts until you're like 90. It's fuuuun being your groupy...

November 9, 2008

Evidence of a Homeschooled Child

Originally written last week.

Big Shooter and I are often heard making flippant remarks such as, "Man, I've called DHS and complained about us as parents a dozen times...when are they gonna come give us a break?"
But, in the back of my mind I am ever mindful of this very real possibility since a nosy neighbor (like myself), who doesn't know we homeschool may wonder why my Crumb Snatchers are outside playing while the rest of the neighborhood kids are in school and actually make that call. So I keep meticulous records of lessons, assignments, projects and test scores just in case...
Today though, I had to smile and wonder what a DHS worker would think of the conversation I overheard during recess:

Girl Child: "AAaarrrr... (loud, obnoxious, very unlady-like screaming) Get back! Get out, you meddling European!

Boy Child: "What?! I (said with chest puffed-out and fake aristocratic voice) am not a meddling European. I am only trying to colonize these...these...parts. (I love how the Okie slipped back in.) I have been sent by His Royal Majesty on a mission to conquer this country. (pompous voice again)

Girl Child: "Well, THAT will not happen! For I am on a mission too and it is to write the Monroe Doctor!...or what ever it's called!"

Boy Child: "So?"

Girl Child: "So, you can't come in my country anymore."

Boy Child: After a long pause, "What was the Monroe Doctrine again? Was it a bloody battle, or a cool weapon, or...?"

Girl Child: Lowering her stick sword, "I think it was a piece of paper."

Boy Child: Thrusting his stick sword at anything and everything, "What??? And that kept the Europeans out? Really??? Wow. They must have been scardy cats!"

Girl Child: "I dunno. I think they were tired of fighting. Remember the War of 1812...and the one before it.

Boy Child: "The Revolutionary War. Ding-Ding-Ding! (uses sword to hit pumpkin like a gong) "But yeah, you're right they were probably really tired of fighting by then! Shrugs his shoulders, "...wanna play Westward Expansion on the tramp then?"

And with that they ran to the backyard.
Sigh.
Concerns about DHS? Not so much. Sooner or later we'd prove we were fit to have them back and our mini-vacation would be over. I am more concerned with whether or not they will ever really fit in...??? They do have Big Shooter's gene pool ya know.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Have I said "Thank you for working your tail off so I can stay home and teach our spawn," lately? Cause if not. "Thank you from me and the Crumb Snatchers."

November 6, 2008

I am No Longer Speechless (or other alternative titles)

(alternative title) How to Clear a Room/Blog Quickly? ~ After recuperating from your shock, disbelief and deflation, you just start shootin' it the way you see it... without a muffler.

Election night I literally could not stomach typing one word of what we were feeling in the Shooter household. My dear friend Sheila said, "I am sorry you are saddened...". Saddened wouldn't even begin to cover the range of emotions experienced in the last 36 hrs. We feel like we've crammed all the stages of grief into one very long day. While my fellow Americans who voted for Obama experienced extreme elation, satisfaction and relief, my brothers and sisters who voted with me felt the polar opposite. All. The. Live. Long. Day. Three words: It sucked toads.


(alternative title) Katie Coueric was Justified ~ Does anyone remember the snarkiness, the degrading comments and the unbelievable rudeness Miss Congeniality had to say about us Redneck, Knuckle Dragging, Unenlightened, God-Fearing Bible Thumpers after the last two elections? I sure do. In fact, before the 2000 election I had been a huge Today Show fan. Watched it every morning like clock work and enjoyed every minute of it...until she lost her tongue and her real self came shining through. I haven't watched it one time since (even though she's gone.)

Wellll, I get it Katie. I really do. The anger, disappointment and disbelief that people could be such suckers for all the hype was 100% unfathomable to me this election. During school yesterday I burst into tears while we were studying states and capitols because I realized all the blue states on the east coast were all part of the privileged original 13. I kept asking myself, "How could people with such rich, first hand American history turn a blind eye to it? How could they not appreciate it and revere it? How could they be such traitors?" (Yes, sadly I said it. Traitors. Not my most proud American moment.) 36 hours has helped tremendously. I wonder if Katie wishes she had taken a long breather/grieving time before she got on the air? I'd like to think so.
Maybe I'll catch the Today Show in the morning...


(another offensive title) I was Duped ~ Seriously. Hook, line and sinker. I had no idea this election was about race. I mean I obviously knew the dude was black. But, I kid you not, until election night I did not realize just how racially motivated his voters were. I totally thought we were comparing experience, abortion beliefs, economics, foreign policy, health care, appointments to the highest court in the land, the sanctity of democracy. You know, all those little inconsequential issues.

Now, before you leave all kinds of nasty comments about how I must be a racist, let me make my thoughts clear here. My experience with anyone who has different colored skin than me has made it abundantly clear they do not want to be judged by the color of their skin. I agree. Absolutely. So I just naturally figured they most certainly would not vote for someone based solely on the color of his skin. But, no matter how it is getting sugar coated, that is exactly what happened with a very large percentage of his voters.
There seems to be two distinct groups who voted for Barry. One who believes in him whole-heartily and digs all his policies. And one who is racist. Yep. I said it. And sadly, they are the ones who are going to screw up the racial strides that have been made in this country. Just like the conservatives have their extremist right wing nut jobs who cause major problems and the extreme left wackos who give the Libs a bad name, now there is a new group.
Rolling your eyes Obama fans?
Here is the Shooter families experiences of the New Reign so far:

Election Day - I have to call Crumb Snatchers in from riding bikes and playing in the front yard because young black males walking home from school are yelling racial comments about the election while walking down our street. People we do not live in low income housing in a poverty stricken area. We live in an older neighborhood with a mix of the elderly, young families, professionals, college students, working class, and a few disabled. The ethnicity breaks down as 2/3 white, 1/3 Hispanic and black.

Election night - At 10:01 pm we hear LOTS of repeated gun shots on the next block and call 911. Big Shooter gets on the police live call website to see how it was reported and see if they are sending units immediately only to find out our call is only one of DOZENS around the city at exactly the same time. Through out the night this is what we find out: Many African-Americans and Hispanics are celebrating the election results by firing shots in the air at their watch parties. This begs the questions, "Why did they have guns at their watch parties?" and "What or where would they have shot if he hadn't won?"
Now this may sound harsh, Boldbut if you don't live in a mixed neighborhood, I truly don't care to hear your inexperienced opinion. Please do not belittle the real circumstances I now find my family in by rationalizing and making excuses. There are none. We are responsible gun owners. Operative word being responsible. We follow the city gun laws. We don't shoot them in city limits, in a neighborhood with houses closely spaced. These people are my neighbors. They drive the same streets my Crumb Snatchers ride their bikes on.

The Day After: 1) I received two phone calls from girlfriends whose children did not want to go to school yesterday. All three (are very strong minded, btw) kids expressed concerns about having to deal with bullying and gloating. One in each age group - elementary, middle school and high school. From the beginning, the high schooler felt she couldn't express opposing political opinions because she'd witnessed the intimidation and bullying that had taken place with others. Nice. Our children don't feel safe and secure in the place they spend a majority of their lives.
2) Big Shooter's boss pulled into a gas station to grab a drink before heading to a meeting. As he was walking in two black males who spied his McCain sticker smugly stated, "McCain? He lost. Now it's our time to rule." This is a man who employs 6,500 people. This is a man, who in the midst of economic turmoil, was on his way to tell all his District Managers what a great job they were doing, to keep up the good work, not to worry all their jobs are safe. This is also a very quiet man who would normally never share an experience like this with others. But, it got to him. In a big way.
And guess what? This did not take place in an undereducated, poverty stricken area either. It was upper-middle class America. If this is taking place here in EXTREMELY conservative Oklahoma you will never get me to believe it is not happening all around America. And I promise you this, if this kind of racism is not immediately addressed or worse, is swept under the rug or ignored...all the great strides this great country has made in the race department will be shattered.
Barry has the chance to prove he sat in a church for 20 years that spewed Black Power and it really didn't have an effect on his views of this kind of behavior or... his silence on this issue will speak volumes.

(next up) Not ALL the People Have Spoken - The notion that this election was a landslide is simply that - a notion. Was the electoral college a landslide victory? Absolutely. Was the popular vote a landslide victory? Not even close. What this election did once again was prove this country is divided. Sadly divided. On issue after issue. What I believe needs to happen with the left is gracious winning behavior. Common courtesy sportsmanship. Not this "In Your Face", "Ha. Take That!" attitude. If the party who spouts tolerance, love and kindness wants to convince the fifty-six million, two hundred and eighty-six thousand, three hundred and eighty-six fellow Americans they are genuine. Now would be the opportune time. Hello? 56, 286,386 Americans who don't trust the Democratic Party and will be looking over your shoulder every step of the way... It's not rocket science people. Reach out, don't slap your opportunity away.

(last offensive alternate) Left vs. Right - What's the difference?
Issues on Oklahoma ballot:
Veteran Tax Exemption
Property Tax Exemption
Wildlife Rights
Wine Sales

Issues on California ballot:
Treatment of Farm Animals
Minors' Abortions
Sewage Plant named after a sitting POTUS
Legalized Prostitution

Pretty clear to me...

(sigh...) I Have a New Mantra - Y'all I love, love this country. I would personally do combat duty to protect democracy. I respect the office of the United States Presidency. Therefore, even though I do not agree with, care for, or even (honestly) trust the President-Elect, he is just that: the President-Elect. I will take the high road (remember the Bush-Haters of the last two elections who refused to accept him as their president and caused chaos and apathy from the get-go) and honor the office he will hold. My mind keeps repeating the mantra, "...a government for the people, by the people...". And People, we are 56, 286,386 strong.

My heart, however, keeps repeating the mantra, "God is in control. God is in control."

God bless you my friends...and the greatest, most charitable nation on the planet.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Go ahead big guy, let 'er rip, spill yer guts, release the demons...it will be a new day tomorrow.

November 4, 2008

Congratulations Democrats.

I so pray your change will heal our country's wounds.

Will you do me a favor?

Read the words.


God Bless America

Lyrics by Irving Berlin


God bless America,

Land that I love,

Stand beside her and guide her

Thru the night with a light from above;

From the mountains, to the prairies,

To the oceans white with foam,God bless America,

My home, sweet home.

God bless America,

My home, sweet home.
Today, we are nothing more than American brothers and sisters.
I am so very proud to be a part of this family.
God bless each and every one of you.
Now, go vote!
Love Note to my Big Shooter: Have I mentioned how much I love, love, LOVE it when you sing this song in the shower? My faves are Elvis and Stevie Nicks style...Oh Baby, I love those pipes when you think no one's listenin'!!

November 2, 2008

My husband IS a rock star


Oh yeah, he is.
Mmmm, mmmm.



Love Note to my Big Shooter: OH MY GAWD...I'll ask again, "How did I get so dang lucky?!"

November 1, 2008

Calvin, Rocker Chick & a Preview

None of the pics have great lighting...
but great fun was had by all!

In full Calvin mode.
All. the. time.

I'm thinkin' the bad light actually made her look more rocker ghoulish...

I personally loved the pink pirate kitty necklace.

I started noticing Boy Child's body language.
He seems to have begun leaning a smidgen away from her...
Yep.
He's had enough.
Time to get on with the Candy Begging!
I know I promised pix of the Big Shooter today.
There's a little problem - Big Shooter doesn't like the pix.
I know. Wahhhh.
It's one of those rare times I will show some restraint...
I'll wait a couple days until he's back at work.
Heh.
Just so you don't feel totally jipped though...

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Plllleease hurry back to work so I can share the pix. I've got to deliver on my promise Love. Besides that, I can't wait to show 'em how incredibly lucky I am to have a hot Rocker living with me!!