My real surreal day in Poe Dunk

So apparently I wasn't too clear yesterday.

Let me clarify.

• Big Shooter really does sleep walk.
• However, he was not sleep walking when he invited us to Poe Dunk at 4:00am.
• There really was a car in a lobby of one of the stores his company owns.
• I had pictures of it because I was really there at like 8:00am.

Hope that helped someone.

It really just sounds even more surreal to me.

Speaking of which...

What do you do in Poe Dunk with two youngin's while waiting for Big Shooter to wrestle up a carpenter, supplies, and deal with policemen trying to solve the mystery. (To add to the confusion of yesterday's post: The car was found still running & unoccupied.) Can you imagine the allure and excitement all four officers were experiencing? They were positively giddy!

Anyways...the question was: What to do with two Crumbs who have had little sleep, a looong car ride, no breakfast and the excitement of destruction at 8:00am Saturday morning in Poe Dunk, Oklahoma?

Why you luck out and are able to attend the region's largest annual Folk Fest this side of the Mississippi that just happens to be opening up at 9:00am a few miles up the beautiful winding road!

I'd never been to a Folk Fest before. It's not that I don't like Folks. I love 'em. It's just not something I ever thought to say to Big Shooter before. "Love, I hear there's a giant Folk Fest going on somewhere in the South every weekend and by golly it sounds like some rip roarin' fun! Let's go."

My expectations were not raised however when the parking attendant said, "The pick-up spot for the shuttle is right over there..."

And this was the shuttle to take us up the hill.

It didn't get any better when I read the name of the next entertainers either.

(It says Skirtlifters if you can't read it.)

And I wasn't quite sure about the mental stability of the majority of people in attendance. Most of them were retirees and lots of them were pushing strollers for this reason.

But then we saw art pieces like this.
It was magnificent.
Carved by hand. The details were stunning. I should have stood a Crumb Snatcher next to it for comparison. It was over 5 feet tall and 3 feet wide.

Then there were people like this guy. He was making a broom. Others were spinning yarn, working a loom, sewing with a pedal powered sewing machine, making lye soap, giving hatchet throwing lessons (much to Boy Child's delight), giving fiddle lessons...on and on it went.
This tree sprang up out of the earth in 1646 and lived through WWII y'all. Just reading the facts and events it had lived through was worth the trip. Seeing the dawning on the Crumb Snatchers' faces as they began to realize the longevity and significance trees have on our society was worth the trip. I need to have them guest post on all the products we consume that have to do with wood. Unbelievable.Then there were the crafts. Oh, the fabulously talented craftsmen.
But did I get a picture of the incredible basket maker, the blown glass guy, or the intricate wood carver?
No. But, apparently in my sleep deprived state I felt this sign was of some significance because I took no less than 5 shots of it trying to get the saying and the light just right I guess.
I can't even read the whole thing it's so blurry.
But, maybe it will speak to someone out there in Bloggyland.

(I am positive what ever it says, it is gag-a-rama, and I don't really do gag-a-rama. Ask Saucy Sashi.)

They even had a petting zoo with Folksy animals to occupy two sleep deprived and kinda cranky Crumbs.

Right next to the petting zoo and the hatchet throwing was this Cherokee guy. He played his hand carved flute and spoke for at least 10 minutes to just Girl Child. She asked a bajillion ??'s and was enamoured by him.

(I have a video of him playing for her if I could just figure out how to post it!)

She wanted me to take a picture of her outside this period cabin. The pic did not turn out what we had hoped. The dirt used as mortar between the logs was truly Oklahoma red dirt. Not so much in the pic though.

(If you love my new fall purse in the background, leave a nice comment. If you agree with Saucy Sashi that it looks like her Granny's curtains or sofa or something she'd love, don't leave a comment.)

It was abundantly apparent to me Boy Child's attention span was OVER by this point.

It was his idea to take our pic, but he would not smile...

forgive what we look like.

We got up and ready (well, actually I never got undressed from the day before) and out of the house by 4:20 am.

(If you are wondering, that was a leaf that fell just as I pushed the shutter, not a weird growth on my neck...)

Love Note to my Big Shooter: I tell you what - you sure know how to show your fam a great time. We always love going with you on your little jaunts. If anything, they are always memorable.

Have I ever mentioned Big Shooter sleep walks?

Yeah. He does. It is fuh-reek-HEE! He will have his eyes open and carry on a full blown conversation with ya...until you finally catch on he's juuuust not quite firing on all cylinders.
That's what happened a couple Friday nights ago.
He comes out at 4am (I couldn't sleep...so I was up reading blogs. Hmmm, there's a stretch.) and says, "So, can you think of any reason you'd like to go to Poe Dunk, Oklahoma?"
I, thinking he is sleepwalking, encourage him with, "Ab-suh-lutely! I've been dying to get there. What's the occasion?"
He says very matter of factly, "There's a car in the lobby," turns and heads toward the bathroom.
I chuckle to myself and wonder how long it'll be before he wakes up and staggers back into the living room asking me what I'm doing up so I can ask him what he's doing up...
I wait.
And wait.
I hear water in the sink.
I hear the hair dryer.
I hear more water...
I wander in, put my hand on his arm and say, "Sweetie...Darlin'. You need to wake up."
He turns and looks me straight in the face and says, "I'm awake." Long pause, then, "The question is: Are you?"
Stunned I finally ask what he is doing.
To which he says s-l-o-w-l-y, "I'm. getting. ready. to. go. to. Poe. Dunk. I thought you and the Crumbs were coming. It sounded like you wanted to..."
"You were serious?!" I screech.
With the big-eyed DUH look he says, "Umm, yeeeah." S-l-o-w-l-y again, "Therrre's a car in. the. lobbb-by."
Oops.

After several hours of clean-up and fast carpentary work to get the gaping hole covered.

I guess the driver was thinkin' Arby's.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: I know you don't always get a kick out of some of the things/situations you deal with on a day to day basis...but, they are gold for a stay-at-home-momma/blogger. Thank you for the fodder Love.

Girl Child

From the laundry room: Mahhhmmy...this time I really think you did it...

Me: Really? What did I do now?

Stepping out so Boy Child and I could see her: ...shrunk the pants to my gee.

Prankster.

"What?! These aren't mine???"

" I was so sure..."

Shoo. Catastrophe avoided.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Thank you for her, the most special and beloved surprise you have ever given me.

It was a very long night...

in the emergency room with our precious Eula Mae. I had a great post in mind but seriously cannot think too clearly this mornin'. So I am cheatin' a little and going to do a fun Meme I read over on my friend Flea's blog a few days ago.

A) Four places I go over and over:

• over the brink and then to my secret, quiet place
• the Dollar Tree (my fave, next to Target)
• the library to pay my weekly fine
• QT - it's the best gas station/convenience store on the the Planet. I am not kiddin'. It is. If you're from Oklahoma or surrounding states, you'll agree.

(B) Four people who e-mail me regularly:

• my other spouse, Saucy Sashi
• my dad (we're plannin' a family rendezvous)
• my Lover-Boy (a.k.a. Big Shooter)
• and FIL (my sweet, sweet Father-In-Law whom I get to see next week!!)

(C) Four of my favorite places to eat:

• My Granny Grunt's kitchen. She is the best cook on the Planet. You know, the kind that can look in the pantry, glance in the fridge at the meager choices and then whip up a scrumptious feast? She's that kind of granny. I get to see her next week too.
• Taqueria Jerez' - my absolute fave little dive. Mr. Juarez is living the American Dream. He is such a fabulous example of what can happen with a little dream, a whole lot of work and tons of determination. He moved here (legally, I may add), worked his tail off to be able to bring his wife and three kids here as well(legally, I may add). He has extremely high standards and expectations of his family because of it. They are all well aware of his sacrifices and honor their father and husband with their hard work as well. His children are going to be famous one day. I've already latched on to their coat tails.
• Greek Isle - In Chicago. It's been a realllly long time. But, I so fondly remember the taramasalata, and octopus. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.
• My kitchen. (Shush Dad.) I love to eat at my own table with my own little fam. I love that special time...and they really believe I am a great cook.

(D) Four places you'd rather be:

• In Margarita Ville
• The mountains of Idaho
• In bed with a good book...and Big Shooter
• Staying at a very posh, swanky hotel with out-of-this-world room service

(E) Four TV shows I could watch over and over:

• 24 (Big Shooter and I are literally counting down the weeks to be reunited with Jack. Sigh.)
• Dexter (Oh. My. Word. Fuh-reeky. Addicting. Sicko. Love it.)
• Any Law & Order or CSI
• Really that's about it. I don't watch a lot of tv. Too busy readin' blogs and thinkin' up posts.

(F) Four people I think will respond:

• My sweet friend Sheila
• The Domestic Fringe
• Clan of the Cave Hair
• and my dearly missed friend Far Out Mom
  and You.

I know you precious people will be emailing or commenting wondering about sweet Eula Mae so I can tell you this much already - She has a hair line fracture in her foot and riding in my "purty red car" makes drivin' home at 4am in the freezin' Oklahoma breeze "a-okay Missy". I knew we'd aptly named that car when we purchased it -The Grandma Car! (It's an old red caddy.)
We will be leavin' this Saturday for a couple weeks. If you think of her, please say a prayer for our sweet girl. She'll have other very loving neighbors, her regular care giver and home health care nurses checkin' in on her...but, she'll be missing her girlfriend - Girl Child. And Girl Child will be worryin' about her the whole time...
Love Note to my Big Shooter: My thoughts are filled with you every time I am with Eula Mae. I think of how well you take care of me. I think about growing old with you. I think about two gnarled hands clasped together long into the future. Sigh... But before you get all googley-eyed and tender hearted I also think of oatmeal and Depends...

Crumb Snatcher Speak

While writing the book she is giving to her GrammE later this month.

Girl Child: Hey Mommy, do you spell favorite, f-a-v-o-r-r-i-t-e?
Me: Almost. It only has one r.
Girl Child, after a long pause: Would it still be wrong if I was just too tired to change it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Girl Child: I just thought of something. Since Thanksgiving is just around the corner, my birthday is only 4 blocks away...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Boy Child, while watching Big Shooter prepare a dessert: So why do you peel the wrapper off the pear before you bake it?

Puh-leeze tell me ya remember!

The human brain is a remarkable living computer!
I love, love, LOVE to watch my kiddos' brains work.
Now Big Shooter would lovingly disagree about the fact the Boy Child's brain works on all cylinders - all the time. I do not chastise him when ever he says such things because I have the distinct feeling he is speaking from experience...not judgement.
Back to my little story.
I do not remember now what brought this little ditty to mind, but in the middle of a lesson I started singing, "Allllmond Joy has nuts...Peter Paul Mounds don't. Beeeeecause...sometimes you feel like a nut. And sometimes ya don't!" I glanced up to big eyed silent stares. And if you know anything about the Crumbs - they are not quiet.
After several seconds, I shrugged and asked, "Whuh? What's the problem?"
To which I was promptly answered with more shocked staring.
"Haven't you ever heard that song," I asked wondering when the last time I heard it was.
They both just slowly shook their little blond bobs at me.
"C'mon! You have to have heard it! I grew up hearing it!" Could I get any more lame in my attempts to convince myself I am not old?!! Good Grief!
All at once they both broke into giggles and asked where I'd heard it.
"Are you serious?! I grew up with that song playing on the TV. Every momma my age knows that song."
So they called Sashi.
After much warming up and encouraging she sang it to the absolute delight of the Crumb Snatchers.
Then they called Soul Sis.
She belted it out on their first request, no questions asked.
Then they experimented and called Daddy to see if the Dads my age might know it too.
He did. Again, no questions asked. They practically fell on the floor in a heap of giggly jello.

Side Note: It made me wonder just now typing those last few sentences.
Why is Sashi the only one of these three people who love my kiddos, concerned about what is going on in my house and wondering why my kids are calling out of the blue to ask to hear the nut song? Hmmm.

What a fun trip down Memory Lane for the Crumbs to travel with me...and Daddy and others. They asked to hear every song I could remember when I was a child around their ages.
I sang the "My bologna has a first name...it's M-a-y-e-r. My bologna has a second name...it's..."song. I hummed the Peanuts theme. I sang, "Conjunction ... function.. that's your... nuh-amme. Conjunction ... function ...what's your... guh-amme?" song too. I tried to make the Six Million Dollar Man sound effects...to no avail. I hummed the Dallas theme too.
I couldn't remember very many of them though.
I was hoping you could so we could sing, hum, pretend, whatever for them?
They loved this little game!!!
Leave me a comment and then have a FABULOUS weekend y'all!!

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Heeeey Big Shooter, whaaaat cha got cookin'? Hooooow's about coooookin' somethin' uuuup for meeeee???

Apparently I forgot to tell you I'd be gone.

I almost wish I had some exciting, dramatic or tragic news to share so I wouldn't feel so weird answering all the thoughtful, sweet inquiries about my lack of posting/well-being.
But nay, it's nothing even remotely in any of those categories. I was at a national conference with my other spouse - Saucy Sashi.
We were asked to speak on our grass roots efforts concerning marketing, which translates to "We are cheap."
We were also up against some major stiff competition for franchise of the year.
As it turned out, our speech went fabulous and was oh so timely with everyone's need to cut back spending aaand we didn't win Franchise of the Year.
We did however, win Best Marketing. That was cool. (I'd post a gratuitous pix of the pretty little crystal award if I had my camera. Tomorrow then...)
But the whole weird thing about it was it was held here, in Plainsville.
Sashi and I pawned our spawn off and stayed at the Doubletree with 70+ other JBF owners (from around the country). We are cheap y'all. Paying for a hotel room in our own city was way more than Weird. It was also Entertaining. Educational. Inspiring. And worth every penny.
'Remember this Hunk O'Munk?

He paid me a semi-surprise visit on one of the evenings we were out and about.
Oh yeah, he did. While we were eating delicious, chocolate dessert at the Melting Pot, delicious hot Black Leather Pants came a visitin'. Just to plant one on me Baby! (said in most gravely, sexy voice you can muster)
Rrrrrr. It was a delicious, hot, melting dessert all right...
After he stood me back up and dislodged his tongue, a good time was had by all. There were many there who know him personally, so when the shock factor wore off and they realized it was Mr. Conservative himself under the make up, hair and pleather...welll, let's just say they wanted to stroke his tatoos, rub the leather and have their picture made with him. He secretly ATE IT UP! (I am hoping to provide gratuitous pix of that outing too.)
Before you ask it or say it -Yeah, he really did. I think turning 40 and conquering kidney cancer does something to you. If he wanted to dress up like Pee Wee Herman and run down the street with sparklers I'd be right there cheering him on. Cause honestly, I am just thrilled he is still here with me.
So a Rock Star it is.
And between you and me Girlies, I know you all have your secret little fantasies. Whether he be
Mr. Police Officer.
Mr. Mailman.
Mr. Caveman.
Mr. Stripper.
Fabio or a Rock Star.
Mine just happens to have been Bad Boy Rocker. And now he lives with me.
And what a fantasy he has turned out to be.

Love Note to my Big Shooter: Darlin' I, for one, am lovin' this whole Rock Star phase. I hope it lasts until you're like 90. It's fuuuun being your groupy...